Customer Reviews

My Dirty Little Book of Stolen Time: A Novel

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Best to start by quoting a paragraph from the Paul Di Filippo review of Liz Jensen works in the July 2007 issue of "Asimov's Science Fiction" magazine:

"Jensen is not marketed as a genre author, nor reviewed in genre venues. And she doesn't exactly rate big coverage from mainstream, establishment publications, either--a result, I believe, of her slipstream nature, and her consequent falling in between two camps. And she's British, which, sadly, often militates against a wider audience in the USA. (I suspect, based on the praise-filled British blurbs for her books, that she's got a much higher profile in her native land.) These factors make it unlikely that Asimov readers will have a deep familiarity with her work. And that's a darn shame, given her superb prose, witty fantastical conceits, narrative drive, and mature sophistication."

Based on this suggestion from a knowledgeable source, I tried Dirty Little Secrets -- her latest work -- and liked it enough to hunt up copies of Egg Dancing (1995), Ark Baby (1998), The Paper Eater (2000), War Crimes for the Home (2002), and The Ninth Life of Louis Drax (2004).

Is it science fiction? fantasy? something else entirely? Your guess is as good as Filippo's; who cares -- a marzipan storyteller.

I loved this book! It was witty, smart, sometimes silly, and suspenseful. It was like an engaging children's book for adults. If you are looking for a book that will keep you interested and smiling throughout, I reccommend it highly.

This is a cheerfully-bawdy romantic time-travel fantasy, set in 19th-century Copenhagen and 21st-century London. The time-travel device (in both senses) is cartoonish (but fun). Jensen writes well and has done her homework. The protagonist is a hooker with a heart of gold (OK, gilt), which shows once again that a good writer can recycle the hoariest cliche into Good Stuff. Fluff, but *good* fluff.

Happy reading,
Peter D. Tillman

Moving from nineteenth century Copenhagen to twentieth century London at a lightening speed, and in ways you won't believe, author Liz Jensen's My Dirty Little Book of Stolen Time is a bawdy, lewd and stench-fuelled frolic through the centuries, it's pages chock-a-block full of prostates, professors, and old crones all vying for prominence with stately old mansions, creaky time machines and uncanny societies.

With a plot that moves at break-neck speed, Jenson has written a novel where the language is always vulgar and colourful and where the characters never seem to relax and take a breath. In other words, it's a time-traveling adventure tale and a love story, and fabulously decadent, romp, immersing the reader in the underbelly of Copenhagen's scoundrels whilst also transporting us to the behind-the-scenes present day intrigues of the "Tin City" of London.

Living in Copenhagen and working as a prostitute, Charlotte, the heroine of novel is existing hand to mouth, her livelihood fuelled by the furtive needs of men, so when meets the haughty and stuck-up widow, Fru Krak, she sees a very advantageous door opening for herself. Krak's husband has been missing for quite a few years and she is about to remarry. Desperately needing a maid to clean her dilapidated and neglected mansion, Krak invites Charlotte into her employ.

With the "decrepit old crone" Fru Schleswig - whom she is generous enough to support and who she maintains is "not her mother" - she begins her life as the servant of the sour-faced & foolishly gullible Fru Krak, a new life shaken only by a disquieting visit she makes to the former housekeeper Gudren Olsen who reportedly once had a terrible scare regarding the Krak household.

As Charlotte goes about her domestic duties she begins to unravel what might have transpired those seven years ago, causing the mysterious Professor Frederick Krak to have been wiped so suddenly but incisively from the face of the earth. She also learns there were people, who flocked to the house in a secretive and desperate manner, descending into the Krak basement, never to return.

With her mind full of séances, dark services with references to "the great Beyond," and sightings of the ghost of Professor Krak, Charlotte develops a rapacious greed to know more about the locked basement room that Professor Krak used as his workshop, called the Oblivion Room & the dangerous mechanical devise that might still lie rusting & abandoned within.

Fighting the desire to Give up "the wages of strumpery," and the urge for adventure, danger and escape, Charlotte - and Fru Schleswig - descend into the basement and - courtesy of a time machine - find themselves whisked away to modern-day London, where they finally encounter Herr Krak at the Greenwich Observatory.

In London, the poor Charlotte feels like an innocent babe fresh-shot from the womb. Such is her predicament when she encounters this strange new world that lies before her, the world of the "information age," in which her existence is jinxed with dire danger, far beyond the compass of her courage.

Here she meets intrepid archeologist Fergus McCrombie, indubitably a twenty-first century man whom she falls in love with, but Charlotte learns the hard lesson that time is ultimately a commodity that can often be made, stolen, bought, wasted, trodden, marked, or put off & even raced against.

Her quest for love and redemption is eventually thrown into confusion by events not of her own making. It may be these new surroundings that challenge Charlotte to remake herself; adjusting to life in the twenty-first century has never been fraught with so much difficulty.

Dependent on the "time-sucker phenomenon" known in modern times as the worm hole, and of course the errant time-machine, Charlotte, Professor Krak, Fergus, and Fru Schleswig are transported backwards and forwards from Victorian Denmark to modern London, constantly caught in circumstances beyond their control, even resorting to the sale of black market sale of Viagra to financially keep afloat.

Drifting somewhere between fiction and fairy tale and the totally absurd, My Dirty Little Book of Stolen Secrets makes some fun observations about the modern world as Charlotte's path veers from nineteenth century whore to a respectable, love-sick twenty-first century modern girl.

Really just a formulaic adventure novel, masquerading as literary fiction, the tale has all the action, behind-the-scenes time traveling and a wretched-out and put upon heroine plot scenario, to satisfy the delights of most readers.

In the end, the loved and the lover are finally reunited and the enigma of time seems to have corrected itself. Although Fru Schleswig might still weigh down the indomitable Charlotte, at least the young girl has become triumphant in love. Mike Leonard July 06.

The beginning of this story held so much promise. A prostitute from the 1800's and her mom (?) find a time machine in the basement of the home where they are supposedly working as housekeepers and go to 21st century London. There they find the supposedly dead husband of their employer and other people from their time, who time traveled rather than commit suicide. However, once in London and the 21st century, the novel dissolves into a love story and becomes like many other romance novels. Sigh. However the writing was very good and there were enough interesting and funny little items in the book to make me finish it even though I knew where the plot was going.

Best to start by quoting a paragraph from the Paul Di Filippo review of Liz Jensen works in the July 2007 issue of "Asimov's Science Fiction" magazine:

"Jensen is not marketed as a genre author, nor reviewed in genre venues. And she doesn't exactly rate big coverage from mainstream, establishment publications, either--a result, I believe, of her slipstream nature, and her consequent falling in between two camps. And she's British, which, sadly, often militates against a wider audience in the USA. (I suspect, based on the praise-filled British blurbs for her books, that she's got a much higher profile in her native land.) These factors make it unlikely that Asimov readers will have a deep familiarity with her work. And that's a darn shame, given her superb prose, witty fantastical conceits, narrative drive, and mature sophistication."

Based on this suggestion from a knowledgeable source, I tried Dirty Little Secrets -- her latest work -- and liked it enough to hunt up copies of Egg Dancing (1995), Ark Baby (1998), The Paper Eater (2000), War Crimes for the Home (2002), and The Ninth Life of Louis Drax (2004).

Is it science fiction? fantasy? something else entirely? Your guess is as good as Filippo's; who cares -- a marzipan storyteller.

A delightful afternoon's diversion, this book is a great romp crossing time and convention. Clean simple fun. Cute.

A somewhat formulaic time travel adventure is elevated by it's plucky and hilarious narrator: An 18th century Dutch prostitute who ends up in twenty first century London. I found by the end logic went pretty much out the window, and the suspension of disbelief was stretched thin, but still, it's a fun quick read, and the voice of Jensens heroine makes for an entertaining time trip.

Best to start by quoting a paragraph from the Paul Di Filippo review of Liz Jensen works in the July 2007 issue of "Asimov's Science Fiction" magazine:

"Jensen is not marketed as a genre author, nor reviewed in genre venues. And she doesn't exactly rate big coverage from mainstream, establishment publications, either--a result, I believe, of her slipstream nature, and her consequent falling in between two camps. And she's British, which, sadly, often militates against a wider audience in the USA. (I suspect, based on the praise-filled British blurbs for her books, that she's got a much higher profile in her native land.) These factors make it unlikely that Asimov readers will have a deep familiarity with her work. And that's a darn shame, given her superb prose, witty fantastical conceits, narrative drive, and mature sophistication."

Based on this suggestion from a knowledgeable source, I tried Dirty Little Secrets -- her latest work -- and liked it enough to hunt up copies of Egg Dancing (1995), Ark Baby (1998), The Paper Eater (2000), War Crimes for the Home (2002), and The Ninth Life of Louis Drax (2004).

Is it science fiction? fantasy? something else entirely? Your guess is as good as Filippo's; who cares -- a marzipan storyteller.

This novelette was a quick read but had an intellectually amusing vocabulary. The story line, while incredibly inventive, was somewhat predictable in it's conclusion. I have recommended this new book to everyone as it is not philosophically daunting, arouses no nightmares or subconcious dilemmas and reacquainted me with my Webster's Dictionary