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Dirty Minds: How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex, and Relationships [Hardcover]

Kayt Sukel
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 3, 2012 1451611552 978-1451611557 First Edition (1 in numberline)
Why does love make us so crazy? This is a lively and funny examination of the big questions about love and sex from the perspective of the latest brain science.

Philosophers, theologians, artists, and boy bands have waxed poetic about the nature of love for centuries. But what does the brain have to say about the way we carry our hearts? As technology advances to allow us more focused examination of the intricate dance our brains do with our environment, we can use science to shed new light on humanity’s oldest question, “What is this thing called love?”

In each chapter of this lively, edgy adventure through the romantic brain, Kayt Sukel dives into the latest neuroscientific research concerning love and sex (even getting her brain scanned while having an orgasm) and what it really means for the way we approach our relationships. Dirty Minds asks age-old questions such as: What parts of the brain are involved with love? Is there really a “seven-year itch”? Why do good girls like bad boys? Is monogamy practical? How thin is that line between love and hate? Do mothers have a stronger bond with children than their fathers do? How do our childhood experiences affect our emotional control and who is at risk for love addiction? Yet this book offers an entirely fresh approach, explaining all the ways the brain can make or break us in love.


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Dirty Minds: How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex, and Relationships + The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"A serious, informative and highly entertaining survey of the neurobiology of sexual attraction.” (The Washington Post)

“A fun and insightful read [that] manages to evoke the feel of both a wine-laden conversation with an old friend and a great neuroscience lecture from your favorite college professor." (Scientific American Mind)

"It was the cotton-top tamarin monkeys that did it for me...Sukel's book fairly bristles with such causes to reflect on our erotic complexity." (Ben Dickinson, ELLE magazine)

"With humor and flair, Sukel takes us through the whole human drama -- loving, hating, cheating, losing, orgasming, parenting, punishment, and reward -- and at the end we realize something truly startling: it's all in our minds." (Jena Pincott, author of Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?: The Surprising Science of Pregnancy)

"Kayt Sukel's [Dirty Minds] merges the bracing realities of science with the mysterious thrill of love and attraction. Provocative, well-researched, and compulsively readable, this book opens the mind (dirty or otherwise) and stirs the soul." (Lily Burana, author of Strip City, Try, and I Love a Man in Uniform)

"Love and sex are two of the eternal mysteries of the human experience--but in her compelling new book . . . Kayt Sukel lifts the curtain to give us a fresh and fascinating look at our intimate lives. Sukel shows us how neuroscientists are venturing into the realm once reserved for poets and songwriters, and returning with bold new knowledge about the brain in love and in the throes of pleasure. After reading this seductively interesting book, you'll never think about a date or a kiss or a breakup the same way again." (Annie Murphy Paul, author of Origins: How the Nine Months Before Birth Shape the Rest of Our Lives)

About the Author

Kayt Sukel’s work has appeared in myriad publications, including Atlantic Monthly, USA TODAY, The Washington Post, National Geographic Traveler, Continental, American Baby, and Cerebrum. She is a partner in the renowned family travel website, TravelSavvyMom.com, blogs about international eating for UpTake.com, and is also a frequent contributor to the Dana Foundation’s many science publications.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Free Press; First Edition (1 in numberline) edition (January 3, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1451611552
  • ISBN-13: 978-1451611557
  • Product Dimensions: 1 x 6.3 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #169,388 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Kayt Sukel earned a BS in cognitive psychology from Carnegie Mellon University and a MS in engineering psychology from the Georgia Institute of Technology. A passionate traveler and science writer, her work has appeared in the Atlantic Monthly, the New Scientist, USA Today, the Washington Post, ISLANDS, Parenting, the Bark, American Baby, and the AARP Bulletin. She is a partner at the award-winning family travel website Travel Savvy Mom (www.travelsavvymom.com), and is also a frequent contributor to the Dana Foundation's many science publications (www.dana.org). Much of her work can be found on her website, kaytsukel.typepad.com, including stories about out-of-body experiences, computer models of schizophrenia, and exotic travel with young children. She lives outside Houston and frequently overshares on Twitter as @kaytsukel.

Her first book, DIRTY MINDS: HOW OUR BRAINS INFLUENCE LOVE, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, is an irreverent and funny tome that takes on the age-old question, "What is love?" from a neurobiological perspective. Called "a fun and insightful read," by Scientific American Mind and "a serious, informative and highly entertaining survey of the neurobiology of sexual attraction," by the Washington Post, DIRTY MINDS offers a new take on that crazy little thing called love.

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
(25)
4.8 out of 5 stars
Sukel learns along with us as we read in order to figure out what is going on between our ears. N. Hawkins  |  8 reviewers made a similar statement
This book is a great read and very informative. JR BAG Lay  |  10 reviewers made a similar statement
This is a book destined for a longer read as well as a second, third and fourth review. Dutch  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The science of love and lust January 3, 2012
Format:Hardcover
Kayt Sukel's highly readable book, Dirty Minds, is one of the more unique science books I've read in quite some time. I've always wondered what love actually consists of at a scientific level - what chemicals are involved and how things actually work. What is lust? What's love? What is romance?

Sukel jumps headlong into the science of it all - from the brain juggling hormones and neurochemicals and what goes on in the brain at the chemical level and the brain's reward system. What about romance and love (of all types)? Or even just attraction? Well, that's a bit more complicated. The book takes us on a journey from models to nuns to what exactly goes on during sex.

What I liked about the book is that it's not only an easy read due to the author's handling of scientific jargon, but that the book is also a self-discovery. Sukel learns along with us as we read in order to figure out what is going on between our ears. She also puts a good number of personal anecdotes into the book, making it also a personal odyssey as well as a scientific journey to understand one of the greatest mysteries out there: love and sex.

(review based off of an author-provided advanced release copy)
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating look at a subject that interests us all January 3, 2012
Format:Hardcover
I was one of those kids who took biology because the instructor was cute; I was more of a history gal. But this book has changed my mind about both science and its suitability for recreational reading. This is not a dry, by-the-numbers read, but instead Sukel writes about the sciences of attraction and sex and emotion and how they intersect with verve, style and a whole lot of courage. The description of having an organism "for the record" is priceless and fascinating.

I recommend Dirty Minds to readers who love science, to readers who think science is boring (Sukel proves that it's not at all boring!) and to anyone with an inquiring mind. It's sassy, fun, educational and informative all at one time.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating and entertaining January 4, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I did not expect to be so entertained by such a book that is primarily about brain research but the author's witty style, laced with personal experiences made this an absorbing read that was, at times, laugh out loud funny. I had enjoyed the author's travel pieces on her travelsavvymom website so based on that, I purchased this, her first book. I thought reading about brain science would be a character building experience for me but it was actually quite fun and I learned something along the way.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A better understanding of me! January 16, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I had so been waiting for this book to come out and it didn't disappoint. After growing up in a somewhat - hello more than somewhat - dysfunctional family and having really bad relationships pretty much all my life, I looked to this book as a guide to help myself overcome the usual habits I follow when in a relationship - any relationship.

This isn't a relationship book per se. This is a source to understand our relationships and how our brains react or don't react to what we think our heart wants and body desires. Just knowing and understanding the science of what is going on gives me peace of mind that it isn't that I am unloveable but I have been placing so much weight on how someone reacts to me that I neglected how I truly felt and reacted to myself and to them, and I just haven't found the one who I can be me with and let go of the games I play with myself, much less the games we play with each other. Where was this book 30 years ago?

I have read the book and am reading it a second time - with my current boyfriend, and my male and female friends alike - and the discussions we have been able to hold about the book and each other are witty, open, informative, and so looked forward to by all.

Learning something new is always a great thing for everybody - learning something new and understanding more about yourself at the same time is the topping on the cake.

It's a whole new way to understand who you are and why you love the way you do.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
By Deb
Format:Hardcover
What is love?

Is it an emotion? A drive? A biological imperative? A neurochemical cocktail? A brain-changing response? A drug? An enigma?

Love is as challenging to define as it is to study. In her book _Dirty Minds_, Kayt Sukel attempts to gain some clarity by getting her hands dirty in the latest findings on the neurobiological basis of love. Hoping to illuminate how our brains influence love, sex, and relationships, she attempts to:
"Explain what neuroscience has actually learned about the various ways our brains can affect our hearts--and what those findings mean within the context of human behavior....If nothing else, I hope to offer you a better understanding of why we humans act so strangely when it comes to that crazy little thing called love." (p. xviii)

Not surprisingly, she learns that the science of love is more of an art. And, a messy one at that. (It's closer to an improvisational splatter paint process than it is a paint-by-the-number one.)

As Kayt learns from her research:
"Though we may wish it were so, there are simply no easy answers when it comes to love. There is no clever playbook for navigating love's messier situations; there are no promises to be revealed by five-step magazine stories or brain chemistry supplements. The brain is too complicated for that." (p.244)

But, she is able to offer a clear explanation as to why there is no clear explanation for describing how our brains work in love. First, our brains are plastic and are constantly changing through our lives with every new experience and relationship we have.
... Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Bold and Helpful
The neuroscience on sexual love is very helpful to process genuine reciprocal relationship with the opposite gender, giving proper place to sexual love as an expression of the... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Amy Sichi
5.0 out of 5 stars An author able to penetrate and explain some very interesting science
Every book is written from a perspective. This one is from the perspective of a divorced mother of a five-year-old who is still quite interested in sex and/or marriage. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Graham H. Seibert
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read! Fun and informative!
This is such a fun and informative book! I would recommend it to anyone who has ever been in a relationship and who has a curious mind.
Published 3 months ago by Dre Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Insightful if You Read It the Right Way.
I gave this book 5 stars without thinking twice. I enjoyed it immensely, and I learned a lot. BUT it must be said that if you read this book as being about love, you are going to... Read more
Published 5 months ago by EricMayle
5.0 out of 5 stars Dirty Minds: Your love life is supposed to be complicated
Kayt Sukel's Dirty Minds is a book about neuroscience that has questions, not answers. That alone should be enough reason for you to pick it up. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Joshua Witten
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read!
This book is a great read and very informative. Both my husband and I read this and it gave a lot of material to think about and have some really informative conversations. Read more
Published 6 months ago by JR BAG Lay
4.0 out of 5 stars Neurobiologic description of sexual behavior.
With so much being written about neurobiology it is surprising that there is little available at this level. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Lorne A. Runge
4.0 out of 5 stars Forget the Title
For anyone interested in the latest research on how the brain works this is a beautifully written, painstakingly researched valuable addition to the literature. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Michael S. Sanders
5.0 out of 5 stars A fabulously nerdy & entertaining read!
I thought this book was fabulous -- it was the perfect medley of nerdy (neuroscience research and information) balanced with the right degree of readability for someone outside the... Read more
Published 8 months ago by S. Collins
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating read
I read this book when it first came out, just getting around to reviewing it. I loved it. I think Kayt Sukel does this really great job of telling the story around the science --... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Andrew Gilbert
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