The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression [Hardcover]

Lisa Machoian (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 24, 2005

A former Harvard University researcher and lecturer offers lifesaving solutions for parents of struggling adolescent girls.

Media, peers, and even parents send teen girls dangerously conflicting messages about what it means to look and act just right, to be good, hip, attractive, and desired. Frighteningly, everyday events can start a teen on a downward spiral. The growing rate of depression in teens is alarming, and parents must understand the difference between "normal adolescent angst" and trouble:

o Why silence reflects a girl’s desperate wish for inclusion, not isolation
o Recognizing signals in problem behavior
o Vulnerabilities in dating, friendships, school, and family. Dr. Machoian also offers guidance for:
o Parents—conversation topics to help girls navigate mixed messages, develop their identity, make healthy decisions, and build resilience that will empower them throughout life.
o Daughters—activities, including the Emotional First-Aid Kit, that girls can use to de- stress and build character.

Featuring dozens of real-life stories, this book will show parents what to look for if their daughters aren’t thriving, how to better listen and respond, and how to manage their own feelings of helplessness.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A former student of esteemed girl expert Carol Gilligan, Harvard researcher Machoian sets out to determine why so many young women seem to emotionally withdraw and to explain how parents and others can help them. According to Machoian, teenage girls begin to "disappear" when they feel disconnected from friends or family, and when the pressures of society (fitting in, staying thin, etc.) become overwhelming. Often, she's discovered, the trouble starts when girls shift from grade school to middle school, or middle school to high school. Though parents and others may see a girl's problems as natural "teen angst," Machoian warns that too often a girl's serious depression is ignored (in the past, she points out, experts did not even believe that teens experienced depression). Fortunately, Machoian claims, there is much adults can do to help, and interspersed among the text's rather weighty case histories are numerous tips for a "whole-girl approach," addressing mind, body, heart and soul with practical solutions. Physical activities, volunteering, proper sleep and diet, supportive peers, coping skills and being with family are all ways to keep girls on track. Most important, Machoian says, parents who listen and talk to their daughters make a crucial difference. (On sale Mar. 21)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

It's old news that adolescence brings with it a host of physical, cognitive, and emotional changes. But Machoian, a Harvard researcher and lecturer, insists that teenage girls' "vulnerability to depression in early adolescence" is serious enough to warrant special attention. Her book, which blossomed from research she did for her dissertation, gives parents a heads up that may help them make the difficult distinction between normal teen angst and the circumstances that signal real trouble. She focuses predominately on ages 14, 15, and 16, amplifying her text with personal stories and commentary that bring an immediacy to the emotions and pressures that today's young women have in common. Throughout, she makes it clear that there is no universal panacea, but at the same time, she remains optimistic about the resilience of young women and the ability of their parents, equipped with the right kind of information, to weather difficult times. Stephanie Zvirin
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Dutton Adult; First Printing edition (March 24, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 052594866X
• ISBN-13: 978-0525948667
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,733,596 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Lisa knows girls!, August 2, 2005

A Kid's Review

This review is from: The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression (Hardcover)

I was molested as a young child, until I was 12. I have never read ANY book that hit home like Dr. Machoian's The Disappearing Girl. I wish my Mom had read it. Thanks for this wonderful book. I loved it.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource for Parents of Teenage Girls, November 1, 2005

By 

Tamarleigh Lippegrenfell (Boston) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression (Hardcover)

Whether or not you think your teenage girl is depressed, this is a valuable resource. The author's perspective is so down-to-earth, her advice so accessible, and her care for the girls so evident, that this book is a must-read for any parent of a depressed teenage girl, and a should-read for any parent of any teenage girl.

For anyone who liked "Silencing the Self" by Dana Crowley Jack -- that was research about depressed women -- this is a very similar book about depressed girls. What makes those two books so valuable is that they are based on counseling actual women and girls--not on theoretical psychology derived in the vacuum of an ivory tower.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely Helpful, October 11, 2006

By 

Kalie A. Gipson (Louisville, KY) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression (Paperback)

If you're a parent of an adolescent girl, then you need to read "The Disappearing Girl" by Dr. Lisa Machioan. With it being written specifically for depression in teenage girls, it is a very helpful resource for parents, friends and even the disappearing girl herself to use when a teenage girl you know or you yourself are experiencing signs of depression. It uses real-life stories told by girls who have been in all kinds of situations involving depression and even suicide attempts to give the reader an honest look at the many different things that may spark depression in the teenage girl. It also gives helpful suggestions on what to do to keep depression from ruling young girl's lives. I highly recommend this to everyone involved in a depressed girl's life, or even to all mothers with a young daughter who may fall victim to depression.