Customer Reviews

Disaster Movie (Unrated Widescreen)

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(44)

 

 

This movie makes "Plan Nine From Outer Space" look like "Citizen Kane" It's unrelentingly tedious and unfunny; the only redeeming thing is that Kim Kardashian's godawful performance is mercifully cut off early in the movie by an asteroid. I'd rather watch milk spoil than sit through this turkey again.

Once again that talentless duo that is Selzer and Friedberg show that they can sink lower than Meet The Spartans with this steaming waste of celluloid. I thought that Meet The Spartans scraped the barrel when it came to laughs but this cinematic abortion breaks through the bottom of the barrel to scrape the ground the barrel is on to get laughs and it still fails!

These two chuckleheads still have the same bad habit of explaining the jokes to you as if you were retarded(if you liked this movie chances are you probably are). Examples: "Its an inconvenient truth, its global warming", "Come here you Kung fu Panda", " I know because I saw Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull", "Let Me get my Get Smart phone", " I thought I'd cheer you up with a high school musical", What is this enchanted place". Sheer genius.

You know for a movie titled Disaster movie, you would think that they'd be spoofing movies like Twister, Dante's Peak, Volcano, The Day After Tomorrow right? WRONG. The camera shakes a couple of times, You see some cheesy plastic asteroids, a couple of cows floating around and a very crummy CGI tornado. The movie targets films like Juno, Alvin and The Chipmunks, Superbad, High School Musical, Step Up, Enchanted, The Incredible Hulk, Kung Fu Panda, The Dark Knight and a slew of other summer blockbuster flicks including Hancock. Now tell me, what do these movies have to do with disaster movies? Nothing.

Nobody in this movie does anything that resembles acting and its safe to say that this "movie" is 100% laugh free. None of the "jokes" work and they just drag on for minutes at a time. Seltzer and Freidberg are unfunny hacks that killed a once funny genre with their grave dead brand of humor. If you want a good parody stick with Scary Movie(the first one), Top Secret, Johnny Dangerously, Airplane, Not Another Teen Movie, Mafia!, Baseketball, Hot Shots(part one and Part Deux), The Naked Gun Series, Dont Be A Menace, Hollywood Shuffle, Spaced Invaders, CB4, Spaceballs, Blazing Saddles, Dead Men Dont Wear Plaid, Last Action Hero(yeah, I said it), Robin Hood: Men In Tights, Duck Soup and every other spoof that came before the advent of Scary Movie 2. Disaster Movie is complete and utter garbage that even those brainless yokels that come on Jerry Springer wouldn't find funny(yes, its THAT bad). Do not waste another dollar on these idiotic circus clowns (Seltzer and Freidberg)and their lame parodies.
Parody is dead and Aaron Seltzer and Jason Freidberg are the undertakers.




Rest In Peace Parody 1933-2008

INGREDIENTS:
2nd rate actors and comedians
Endless sex jokes
Unsubtle humor
Dumbed down Slapstick
Movies that aren't disaster flicks
Cliche'd jokes everyone's tired of hearing
Two talentless directors
A script full of all of the above

DIRECTIONS:

1. Take the two talentless directors and give them the aforementioned script.

2. Then, put in endless sex jokes and pop culture refrences.

3. Have lame jokes, such as Iron Man getting hit by a cow.

4. Hire a bunch of second rate comedians and actors to play the characters.

5. Don't reshoot any scenes. Rush it as fast as you can so that you can get that paycheck.

6. Release it into theaters and watch MTV kids flock.

BEST SERVED WITH: A vomit bag, and a face-palming pad.

1. "MY SUPER SWEET 16" PARODY. The main kid Will (Matt Lanter) is 25, and he wanted a sweet 16 party. Even as a non-sequitor, this is just weird.

2. THE BLATANT STUNT DOUBLES. This is something I noticed in "Epic Movie" (the martial arts sequence) and "Date Movie" (the motorcycle ride), as well as "Disaster Movie". They're obvious and right in your face, yet there's no irony and clever quip behind them. This film went all out just to show the stunt double right next to the original actor after the end of the typical dance sequence, yet the movie did nothing to make it funny outside acknowledging the stunt players.

3. JUNO'S BABY BEATING UP SARAH JESSICA PARKER. How did the baby's legs attack S.J Parker while it's still inside the womb? I get the "Zohan" reference just from Juno beating her up, but then the baby's legs come in and I just didn't get it. Oh, and Juno's water broke in an exaggerated way, yet she didn't give birth after that, which ended up being a pointless scene.

4. Kim Kardashian: "WE SAW YOUR DREAM, WILL". How? How did she saw his dream? Was she just humoring him because she didn't believe him about the premonitions in the first place? WTF?

5. THE PUPPET CHIPMUNKS. The most godawful-looking recreations of Alvin and the Chipmunks were singing showtunes, and then they suddenly broke into a satanic metal song. Up until the part where the chipmunks start attacking people's groins, I didn't hate this.


"Disaster Movie" isn't just awful, it's bizarre, bizarre, bizarre. This film has the usual suspects to berate a [blank] Movie, but the thing that annoys me the most is for a movie called "Disater Movie", there's no references to that genre. Many of the throwaway pop-culture references, celebrity look-alikes, lampooned situations, and awful puppet designs for cartoon characters are in relation to the superhero, action, animation, and fantasy genres, nothing about the disaster genre itself. No "Cloverfield", no "Armageddon", no "Volcano", not even "The Day After Tomorrow". Okay, there was one "Day" part where the city froze, but it was so brief I wouldn't even call it a reference; same for the tornado, and I wouldn't even call it a "Twister" reference. I don't think think Friedberg/Seltzer even had the budget to do actual disaster parodies. There's not a single merit this film has...except for Chris Classic's "Doin' My Thang" in the end credits; that's a very good rap song, and it's sadly exposed in the wrong movie.

Will, Lisa, and two of their friends attempt to flee man-made and natural disasters and encounter Batman, Hancock, The Hulk, Indiana Jones, Hannah Montana, Michael Jackson, Beowulf, the Love Guru, Iron Man, rabid chipmunks amongst others in their seemingly vain efforts to seek help and shelter from unknown threats. Unfortunately there is not a number low enough to rate this. There is absolutely no reasonable explanation for making this movie. Don't see this movie. Don't spend any money on it.

It was a DISASTER!!! I am a big spoof/stupid humor movie kind of guy, but this was really really pathetic. In fact, I gave the Blu-Ray away to a co-worker, wouldn't even want to re-sell it.

this is the worst movie I seen in my life. don't waste your time wiht this one...trust me!

Given the choice of again getting a shot under my fingernail (the only time I've actually screamed in pain and saw stars) and sitting through this movie again, I'll take the shot. How these guys get funds to make movies as awful as this and epic movie is beyond me. Not even a neanderthal could find anything in this movies to laugh at.

Welcome to the downfall of Hollywood, folks. Where uncreative, untalented, and uncaring writers, directors, producers, etc. are allowed to continue pumping out crap while talented filmmakers are banished from Hollywood because their films don't make much money. Shame, shame. Now we're left drowning in a wasteland of terrible films. This isn't the worst film I have ever seen, but it certainly is one of the ten worst films I've ever seen.
WHAT IT'S ABOUT: The film is basically a horrendous parody of Cloverfield with many other crappy parodies thrown into it. Three nobodies are tasked with saving the world and rescuing a girlfriend, and to save the world the Crystal Skull must be returned to its altar. This film doesn't flow cohesively, it's hardly funny (if you're lucky you get a few cheap chuckles), and it's downright painful. You know you're in trouble when your DVD player is making strange noises as if it doesn't like the film and if you vomit slightly in your mouth. That's how bad this film is. Not to mention within the first few minutes of watching it I was left saying; "I hate myself, I really do." Here's a list of the films this one parodies:
1. Cloverfield.
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
3. Juno
4. Alvin and the Chipmunks.
5. No Country For Old Men.
6. Iron Man.
7. The Incredible Hulk.
8. The Dark Knight.
9. Beowulf.
10. Hannah Montana.
11. Hancock.
12. Kung Fu Panda.
13. Wanted.
14. Hellboy.
15. Enchanted.
16. The Love Guru.
17. Speed Racer.
18. High School Musical
AND MORE... UGH.
MUSIC: The musical score is rather terrible and rather annoying.
ACTING: I hated each and every one of these actors. I especially hated the actress who did a parody of Juno because she pissed me off so much. None of the actors were funny and I wished they would all die.
HUMOR: The only part of the film I found somewhat funny was the parody of those annoying Head On commercials, any other slight chuckles I had were killed off almost immediately afterwards. This film is nothing more than an incredibly crappy parody. You know, I'm surprised it's not like The Happening; except instead of wind making people kill themselves, it's this film every time someone watches it.
ACTION: This film has very badly scripted action parodies that continued to make the quality of this film shoot straight down. Every moment of the action scenes was awful and nothing worthy of talking about.
OVERALL: Unless you are contemplating suicide, run away from this wretched disaster flick.
THE GOOD: The Head On parody.
THE BAD: Everything else.

I watched this movie hoping that it would contain even a small percentage of laughs, even though Epic Movie cured me of that hope. Somewhere along the line parody & satire films went from cleverly thought out jokes & slapstick to fart jokes that aren't even funny to a first grader. Calling this film a parody or even a comedy would be doing the better films in the genre a disservice.

The plot, you say? What of the plot? There is one, but one that is stretched so thin you could use it as glass in a window. The focus of the movie mainly surrounds the "writers" (who obviously aren't chosen for their merit) throwing in one pop culture reference after another. I can even imagine how the brainstorming session went:

Writer 1: "Hey, the Chipmunks did really well in the box office. Let's include them. Oh, and let's throw in Juno, Enchanted, & Batman."

Writer 2: "Those aren't disaster movies. So what type of jokes are we going to write for these... 'disaster' movies?"

Writer 1: "We're going to make Giselle a man! And we'll turn the Chipmunks rabid! Everyone else will just walk around being themselves!"

Writer 2: "Gay jokes? Fart jokes? Trying to pass off cameos as jokes? Come on guys, this blows and we know it."

Producer: "Throw out Writer 2! He's making far too much sense!"

The only reason I could possibly imagine anyone watching & enjoying this movie is because they're either a pre-adolsescent boy who likes watching boobs (which there are a lot of) and hasn't yet discovered that there are better films out there. Or someone who has an IQ under 100 or has had recent head trauma. In any case this is a film to avoid at all costs. I love parody movies & I'm willing to put up with some blue humor in films, but this goes beyond what is bad & lame in movies. The "_____ Movie" efforts of Friedberg & Seltzer have officially killed the parody/satire movie genre & are now what any hopefull young filmmaker should look to as a "what not to do" guide to comedy.