Customer Reviews

The Discipline Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Better-Behaved Child : For Birth to Age Ten

5 star:		(46)
4 star:		(16)
3 star:		(15)
2 star:		(12)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

What a treasure trove of information! The authors write clearly, with a warmth and credibility I've seldom seen matched in other parenting tomes. It isn't just academic training that uniquely qualifies William & Martha Sears to write on the subject of parenting, although they're pretty impressive (he's a Harvard-trained pediatrician who's been in practice for over 20 years and is a faculty member at the USC School of Medicine and she's a R.N., certified childbirth instructor and lactation consultant). They're also the parents of eight children. These guys have been right there in the trenches! They've had 8 opportunities to ascertain what works and what doesn't and they've done a wonderful job of putting it all together in their book. There has never been a discipline challenge I've either personally encountered or heard about that hasn't been addressed. It's an incredibly thorough reference. In the beginning, the emphasis is on helping the child forge a secure attachment to his parents through attachment parenting. The authors explain how a secure parent-child bond is the basis for later discipline, giving many illustrative examples from their own experience. The most outstanding aspect of this book is the Searses' ability to provide a window into your child's mind as he hurtles from one developmental stage to another. It's so helpful to be able to stay one step ahead of your child! Understanding how your child thinks makes you become much more patient and competent. And once you understand, the book gives you a huge number of suggestions on how to correct all kinds of undesirable behavior ranging from tantrums in every conceivable scenario to bad language and more. There are even tips on facilitating tooth brushing and face washing! When I was done reading this book, I realized how much my range of disciplinary options had expanded. Being a mom has definitely become more enjoyable for me. Whatever your parenting style, this book is a definite must-have. The Baby Book by the ! same authors is another fantastic reference to have on hand.

I'm relatively new to the Mom Game, and I've been very happy with suggestions from Dr. Sears. The Baby Book has saved me on more than one occasion. So when my sweet little boy got to the stage where I felt like I was saying NO every 5 seconds, I thought The Discipline Book would be an ideal resource. In many ways, it is the resource I hoped it would be. Dr Sears covers different types of discipline styles and seems relatively objective in reviewing what's good and bad about each. It was nice to see the pros and cons, which reinforced the idea that you need to pick and choose what works best for you and your child. I really like books that stress trusting your intuition. The thing that I found a little unrealistic is how Dr Sears seems to think that as long as you're close to your child and follow the Attachment Parenting philosophy, your child will be a perfect angel who will obey because they want to please you. I think this truly underestimates the role of personality and disposition. Even children who are securely Attached are still going to have stubborn and independent streaks. Or worse. And while I love Dr Sears and think this book is a good starting point, I don't think this is as complete a guide to Discipline as it could be.

This book is an excellent resource for those who want to discipline their children but don't want spanking to be their sole resort. As someone who loves her parents but doesn't like the way they disciplined her, I found the information given to be very helpful. In the introduction, the authors say that the expert on your child is you, and if any of their ideas seem too permissive or too harsh, to go with your instincts. This reflects the "reader-as-capable" tone that prevails throughout the entire book and which makes it a must-read.

I am a strong believer in the general ideas espoused by Dr. Sears (family bed, avoiding spanking, being respectful of children as people, etc.), but I found this book very disappointing. First, Dr. Sears provides many strong recommendations about what a parent should and shouldn't do, but virtually no practical suggestions or examples. Second, in the focus on being respectful and responsive to the child, there is a strong implication that a parent who attends to his/her own needs is practicing poor parenting. I believe that a parent who sacrifices too much of her/his self is often a worse parent than those who have boundaries that are respectful of BOTH themselves and their child. Third, there is a strong and explicit value that the mother is and SHOULD be the primary parent, with the father playing a quite peripheral role. If you want a parenting book that teaches you to be warm and responsive to your child with practical examples, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, How to Listen So Kids Will Talk" is a MUCH better choice.

I wish all of Dr. Sears books would be prenatal prerequisites and parting gifts at the hospitals! There is scientific evidence,personal experience, and genuine caring. Indeed,in an ideal world we would all be parented this way- people would value people over things.We have attachment parented our daughter by responding to her cues from day one in terms of nursing,crying,sharing sleep,holding and simply doing what feels humane. Zoe is almost three and this approach has truly helped me to know my child and has served as the foundation for effective discipline which is simply guidance, whether firm or gentle,it is setting limits,and correctng and redirecting. When you have done this from the beginning, "discipline" isn't something that you do all of a sudden now that they are a toddler. Talking to her early on and explaining things and having age appropriate expectations builds trust- this makes for a more harmonious relationship overall and quite an asset for there are days and weeks that are just hard- there are certainly challenges to being an "at home" parent-even with a great natured toddler,I believe that all of the Sears' books have affirmed the value that I have on the attachment process in the first three years of life.Attachment parenting is an investment.Our society wants independence and quick fixes where children our concerned: let someone else parent them,leave them to cry,spank,scream,ignore.These methodst have grave long term consequences-a good reason to buy this book! Read this book.

I feel so comfortable with the philosophy of this book. I must admit I had previously thought of attachment parenting as relating only to nursing babies. Sears clearly explains that a solid foundation in a "connected parent/child relationship" along with firm boundaries, effective communication skills and behavior modification strategies, will (over time) develop a child's
conscience and internal motivation to WANT to do the right thing. I have 3 young children under the age of 6. I highly recommend this book for it's comprehesive explanations of theory and attention to issues of special needs children as well as to some common worrisome issues of 6-10 year olds. If you have young children like me, I also recommend a very practical A-Z guide called "The Pocket Parent" that is written only for parents of 2-5 year olds. This literally pocketsized book is not written in paragraphs, but rather sanity saving bullets of quick read tips and examples often including the exact words to try. It is organized alphabetically by behavior topic (anger, biting, gimmes, hitting, listening, lying, morning crazies, whining, etc) and can quickly suggest a strategy at a moments notice. I refer to these 2 compatible books again and again. I am pleased with the increase of cooperation from my kids as well as the general feeling of well-being in my household.(...of course, that's on a good day!...My kids are normal and often quite challenging!)

I feel so comfortable with the philosophy of this book. I must admit I had previously thought of attachment parenting as
relating only to nursing babies. Sears clearly explains that a solid foundation in a "connected parent/child relationship" along
with firm boundaries, effective communication skills and behavior modification strategies, will (over time) develop a child's
conscience and internal motivation to WANT to do the right thing. I have 3 young children under the age of 6. I highly recommend this book for it's comprehesive explanations of theory and attention to issues of special needs children as well as to some common worrisome issues of 6-10 year olds. If you have young children like me, I also recommend a very practical A-Z guide called "The Pocket Parent" that is written only for parents of 2-5 year olds. This literally pocketsized book is not written in paragraphs, but rather sanity saving bullets of quick read tips and examples often including the exact words to try. It is organized alphabetically by behavior topic (anger, biting, gimmes, hitting, listening, lying, morning crazies, whining, etc) and can quickly suggest a strategy at a moments notice. I refer to these 2 compatible books again and again. I am pleased with
the increase of cooperation from my kids as well as the general feeling of well-being in my household.(...of course, that's on a
good day!...My kids are normal and often quite challenging!)

I first read The Discipline Book When my son was 2. He is now 6 years old and I feel that it is the appropriate time for me to write a review. After 4 YEARS using the wonderful ideas in this book I can speak confidently of the results that I see in my child by using this book.

Ofcourse it hasn't been the easiest ride, like all aspects of mothering, but by reading this I was able to tap into the developmental phases that my son was going through leading to an understanding as to WHY he was acting out as he was. I was able
to LOVINGLY GUIDE my son through the transitional stages of toddlerhood to childhood.

With the help of The Discipline Book my son is a sweet, sincere, outgoing, confident little boy who has grown through the respect that I showed him while helping him cope in the "adult" world. I never brought him down while discipling him and the results speak louder than any review I could leave here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

I was so thrilled about all I learned from the Sears Baby Book, that I was sure this was the only discipline book I'd need. Instead, I just read it and it is going straight into the trash (and yes, I read the whole huge thing, hoping at some point it would get better and more useful) Dr. Sears, you hae a lot of fans out there (myself included) but you really missed the boat on this one! The book goes on and on and on about attachment parenting philosophies (wear your baby, nurse, sleep with your baby) and even though I've done all that I find this book does the attachment parenting thing ad nauseum. I actually found myself thinking it is a bit offensive, because Sears seems to think that children who are properly attached, or attached enough, will not have discipline issues. Well, that's just not helpful to me as I try to find strategies to deal with my daughter hitting other children, or throwing food on the floor (for 4 months now), or having little tantrums, etc. If you want a book that will make you feel good about all the great attachment parenting you've done, or horrible about all the attachment parenting you haven't done, then this is the book for you. If you want a book that is more about strategies to deal with toddlers and their behavioral challenges (and why they work, and the strenghts and weaknesses of various approaches), keep looking. I'm going to try "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for toddlers" and "Becoming the parent you want to be."

If you have read "the baby book" and are using the attachment skills then most of what is in this book comes naturally. It gives examples and helps keep parents on track with ideas to continue with discipline while keeping the parent child bond intact. HOWEVER, I do not buy into certain parts of the Sears ideal. At times his approach seems too touchy feely and my not have as much affect on a strong willed child. I have three boys. With my 1st two boys, I was able to work with them a little more on the points discussed in the book. My third child (age 3) has a personality that doesn't lend itself well to Sears discipline. The book did give me some pointers on not letting him get to the point of needing to be corrected, but most solutions I used with my older 2 don't help with my youngest. I think if you have read the baby book and KNOW you child, this book reitterates and expands much of the same things and is a nice building block, but not a the end all and be all of discipline.