Review
I have always believed in the basics and am so glad for that special day in Texas when I came across the person who os described my philosopy. I had really felt I was very alone in the field of edcuation with my convictions of being accountable. It was a very refreshing breath of fresh air to hear Madelyn speak and then to read her book. This book should be read by everyone in the nation. --
Attie WardTo those of you just opening this book and meeting Madelyn for the first time - breathe a sigh of relief. There is much common sense and good advice here; there is much caring, love, and respect in these words; and most importantly, there is Madelyn's wisdom and her faith in you. Believe in it. Believe in your own ability. --
V.R. Mathies
From the Author
Being a parent is far more challenging, frustrating, and sometimes discouraging than I ever thought it would or could be. And I was a school psychologist, an early childhood educator, and the wife of a teacher before I ever had children of my own. My journey into this book, the subject of which I have been speaking about and teaching for years, began with the frustration and discouragement I experienced as our first-born began toddlerhood. I never planned to be the perfect parent; I had just expected that with all my experience with other people's children and my education (please don't laugh, I was young), I would, at least, be a good parent. Well it wasn't necessarily so. I started backwards. I sought skills first, but I could not judge their appropriateness with any tool other than, "Does it work?" I was missing the critical component of discipline, its root word, which means teaching and has been forgotten or overlooked for too long. I was at the mercy of the "experts" who so often disagree. I realized I was not seeking expertise; I was seeking and needing wisdom to help me guide my children to healthy, happy, responsible, humane adulthood. I failed to regain my integrity until I came to understand that every time I disciplined my son, I was not simply addressing and changing current behavior, I was also teaching him life lessons and principles he would use to guide his life both now and in the future. I needed not only to be effective in the present, but I also needed to teach healthy and helpful principles to my child.
Yes, you can be the parent you want to be, or at least a whole lot closer to it. And yes, being a family can be mostly healthy, happy, and a benefit to you, rather than a disappointment in your life. It is critical not only for our own sanity and our children's lives, but also for our future, that we learn to guide our children through childhood and into healthy adulthood. There is so much they need to learn and know about in order to become emotionally healthy, happy, functional adults: forming healthy relationships, developing sound and helpful communication, acquiring correct principles to guide their lives, using problem solving, being responsive to others, showing respect and taking responsibility for their actions, discovering resourcefulness and negotiating skills, building self-esteem, dealing with anger. True discipline teaches all of these. It is clear we must not only be knowledgeable in these areas, but we must also know positive ways to teach them.
