Customer Reviews

Discipline for Life : Getting it Right with Children

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Before reading this book, I would have told you that nothing I do seems to make a difference in the behavior of my children. I found myself telling other parents that I parented in two ways: threats & bribery. I found myself rewarding my kids for behavior that they should already be doing on their own and having to increase those rewards as they aged or just got smarter to the system. Madelyn Swift's book has given me a better way to discipline and now my children do listen. There are no more rewards or threats of punishment. There are disciplinary consequences. My children know that I mean what I say and trust that I will follow through. I have learned to truly discipline them to make them the best adults that they can be. There is a reduction in the stress and anger in our family. More importantly, I have come to enjoy my children much more and no longer feel angry at them when they misbehave. This book empowers you as a parent. You don't walk away feeling guilty for not doing what the "experts" say should be done but excited to know that you can make a difference in the lives of your children. Getting it Right with Children shows you how to teach your children to make the best and right choices to become self-disciplined and contributing members of the family, school and society.

As an early childhood specialist and an educator for 34 years, this book finally "gets it right" on how to "disciple" or teach children. Madelyn Swift scores an A+ on uncovering the problems with the "fad" behavior modification techniques such as "assertive discipline." Best of all she covers how to praise, how to take "love and logic" a step further, and how to separate "rewards" (bad) from celebrations (good). Anyone with children or in education will find this book full of great philosophy and down to earth suggestions for everyday "discipling."

Between the two of us, my wife and I have looked at 30 or so books on parenting and read about 10 or so.

This is *the* best book on parenting we've ever seen.

She gets the theory right in terms of "intrinsic consequences" rather than "extrinsic punishment/reward" as Alphie Kohn describes so well in "Punished by Rewards. But she goes much further by providing a lot of real-world insight and examples that really ring true. She's also admits that she's had bad parenting moments. That helps to put the reader at ease.

My husband and I were introduced to this book by the director at our oldest son's daycare. We both read it, highlighted sections and discussed it with each other. We agreed that it was the best book on discipline that we had read. It doesnt provide quick gimmicks to solve behavioral problems, but instead helps you as parents to develop a framework and keep your focus on what you are trying to teach your child and what type of person you are helping them to become. I like that the focus is on teaching the child, not simply making life easier for the parents. We find ourselves returning to this book over and over. I highly recommend it.

I hung my head and cried after whacking my toddler's butt in despair. I had to admit it. I did not know what to do with my child. By the time he was in preschool, no one else knew what to do with my child either. He was such a smart kid! Too smart. As Madalyn will tell you in her workshops, don't ask for a smart kid!

I wanted more than just minute by minute get my kids to behave discipline. I wanted to espouse principles of family cooperation and contribution, character, integrity, self-reliance, self-esteem. But I also wanted to be effective. I did not want to battle the same stupid battles day in and day out.

All the other books seemed to be about being too permissive or being too strict. Basically they aimed at the wrong thing, getting my child to DO WHAT I WANT. To obey! I don't want my children to obey! I want them to THINK. I don't want them obeying the corrupt politician, or the great sounding criminal. I want them to be responsible for their actions, their choices.

Here is the best book to help my parenting compass point due north where previously it was spinning out of control. Once I knew WHY I was doing what I was doing, I could use the techniques in this book. I have measured other books with more tactical information in it against whether or not they advance the goals of integrity chrystalized in this book.

Other books I think can be used in conjunction are

Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsible, Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries (Revised and Expanded Second Edition)

as well as

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

I am very proud of my children. Our battles are now things of bad days and not even close to the norm. Often I hear comments about how nice, polite, kind and well behaved my kids are. I don't pat myself on the back. I say Thanks Madalyn Swift!

The book really teaches the right philosophy of disciplining children. After every lapse in good behavior, we should always be asking ourselves, "What lesson does my child need to learn here? How can I teach it?"