Customer Reviews

Discipline That Works: Promoting Self-Discipline in Children (Plume)

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The idea that you can influence children's behavior without using punishment is one that is -- to this day -- thought impossible by a lot of people. In Discipline That Works Dr. Gordon delves deeper into the theory of his landmark book Parent Effectiveness Training, showing exactly what effects the use of parental authority has on children. The book still covers the skills parents can use to positively influence children's behavior (that are in P.E.T.), but with a heaping serving of the underlying theory (for those of us who just can't get enough of the "whys" in life).

If you are looking for a recepy book or "real answers" in terminology of another reviewer, you should indeed look elsewhere. However, if you are interested in research and reasoning behind a good chuck of the Gordon model, I suggest that you check it out. No matter how many times we use quotation marks around "scientific" or the "so-called" around any of Gordon's concepts, most professionals (e.g. consultants, good managers) know that the model mostly delivers in the workspace. I am not equating your subordinates to your kids, but psychologically there is little difference when you want to trigger self-starting, self-structuring, self-driving type of behaviour. This book gives you more theory behind the no-lose conflict resolution than PET, TET or Effective Leader. Even the types firmly stuck in "you win - you lose" or "I win - you lose" modes of conflict management (or in conflict avoidance, for that matter) may find this book compelling. In fact, it may be a better start that a more every-day oriented PET or TET.

I do not recommend this book for parents searching for real answers. The title of this book is very misleading and should have been more appropriately entitled "Evidence For Not Disciplining (as defined by Dr. Gordon)Your Children". Most of this book is filled with so-called scientific research which simply berates 'punitive' punishment, rewards and praise. It's filled with definitions that do not quite match everyday life. I honestly do not know for whom this book was written - those who already agreed with Dr. Gordon used it as their soap box. Those who disagreed would not have found a possible bridge with offensive language like 'superiority' and 'so-called caring parents'. The book includes only a small section of solutions which are hazy at best. For a complete understanding of his program, read P.E.T. Leave this book for the ivory tower types who seldom want to provide solutions but would rather win a philosophical argument.