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Disrupting Grace: A Story of Relinquishment and Healing Paperback – December 23, 2009

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kristen has a B.A in Social Work, is a stay at home mom, and lives in Boulder County, CO with her husband and two children.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 136 pages
  • Publisher: VMI Publishers (December 23, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1935265040
  • ISBN-13: 978-1935265047
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #873,117 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Toni E. Hoy on February 9, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
"Disrupting Grace" is a story for all families with a disrupted adoption due to pre-adoptive, severe neglect and abuse. Ms. Richburg does an amazing job taking her readers along her adoption journey from their emotional investment prior to the adoption to the grief and trauma of relinquishment. The couple saw early warning signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder, but professionals minimized the effects of trauma. Their story is a real depiction of a traumatized child's need to control, cruelty to animals, food issues, and triangulating parents and others.
Most notable is the severe stress on those who were the targets of this girl's disorders-debilitating stress on mom and the other kids. Thankfully, this family had a lot of support as most families don't. This support was evidence as shown by their heart wrenching final decision even while they felt at peace with it. As with most RAD kids, the goodbye was far harder on everyone else than the relinquished child.
While we are the parents of a disrupted adoption rather than a dissolved adoption, we have had a slightly different fight for our child. These stories are far more common than most people ever hear about. I will be recommending this book to other struggling families. This is one very special and courageous family!
Toni Hoy
Author "Second Time Foster Child"
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By somanybooks_solittletime on December 21, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
When reading this book I felt the author was telling our story. We too had a very difficult international adoption experience that lasted 2 and half years before it too ended in disruption. The guilt you feel, especially as a christian who is supposed to have all the answers is tremendous. I needed this book to help heal, to know that God is still good, to accept that it wasn't all my fault that it didn't work out. You are told over and over again how if you just do such and such your child will heal but sometimes you can do everything by the book but your child still will not heal for whatever reason. We, just like the author tried everything to help our child heal. We exhausted ourselves emotionally and financially and spiritually and the problem only got worse. Unfortunately I have been hearing more and more stories similar to ours and it is so sad. Many people go into adoption unprepared and even naive and the available resources to help these families afterwards are so very limited. To my knowledge there is no other book like this out there and I am so glad that I found it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By B. Taylor on May 31, 2010
Format: Paperback
I just finished reading Disrupting Grace. It's a wonderful story. It's heartbreaking but so very informative. It was healing for me because I thought I was the only mother with a child who refused to let me hold him or hug him and did things to emotionally hurt me.

It would be even harder to understand that reaction from a child you have brought out of poverty to adopt into your family.

You can't put this book down once you open it. You go with the author into her home. You meet her husband and children and you share the anticipation as they bring their baby home from Korea.

You feel the hurt from lost dreams and you understand the choice they made.

It's a must read for anyone planning to adopt a child. It's wonderful when things work out but everyone needs to know what to do when something just isn't right.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Annette on July 14, 2010
Format: Paperback
I loved this book! Even though it is a sad book, it is a perfect picture of God's grace.
This book is a testament in that not all adoption stories end well, sometimes love is not enough.
Kristen has told her story remarkably well and with much emphasis on not making her and her family out to be victims; her goal was to share her story and what she has learned since this time.
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Format: Paperback
Bring It On! Communications sent me "Disrupting Grace: A story of relinquishment and healing" by Kristen Richburg to review.

"We have two children. We used to have three. Our third child didn't grow up and leave home, she didn't die. We relinquished her. Aren't adoption stories supposed to have happy endings? While there are many adoption stories that do have happy endings, this is not one of them. And we've come to learn we are not alone. More and more families are finding themselves in situations similar to ours, feeling like there is no way out. This book is my story of adopting a child who was unable to attach. It is a chronicle of investment and sacrifice in our daughter, the pain and loss we experienced, the grief of darkened hopes and loss of a dream. It is also a story of grace and healing, of relinquishment and new beginnings." - Deep River Books website

I was very curious about this book. We are hearing more and more about adoption these days which is a very good thing! We are a family that intends to adopt at some point in our lives. We have family members who have adopted. So, what kind of story leads to the end of an unhappy adoption?

I think I felt every feeling reading this book. I felt the agony of this family as they tried for 5 years to meet the needs of a precious little girl. I felt their agony when they realized that this little girl may thrive better somewhere else. This is a heart-breaking story of God's grace. A story of how faithfully He meets us when we are at the end of ourself.

This book was hard to read and very emotional. It ended in a difficult way. But it is real and gives give glory to God for His hand at work in their very painful situation. This book remind us that He is at work in the good times and the bad times.
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