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Ditch That Jerk : Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women Paperback – May 15, 2000

24 customer reviews

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Ditch That Jerk : Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women + Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men + Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can--and Should--be Saved
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Product Details

  • Series: Dealing with Men Who Control and Abuse Women
  • Paperback: 226 pages
  • Publisher: Hunter House Publishers (May 15, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0897932838
  • ISBN-13: 978-0897932837
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #541,544 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 54 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 10, 2001
Format: Paperback
I just picked this book up on vacation and I found it the most illuminating book I've ever read on dysfunctional relationships. It spells out hurtful, abusive behaviors and what they really mean. This book helped me see someone whose erratic behavior had confused and hurt me for years was running a classic pattern of tension, abuse, and making amends. Instead of feeling that the action didn't match the words, I saw clearly that he fit the mold of a control freak who sees relationships as win/lose or dominator/dominatee. While the book mostly applies to men, women can also be abusers who fit into these patterns. Every woman should read this book and every high school girl. It will save you wasted time and untold pain. It helps to differentiate between basically good men who will grow, bad men who may not change, and completely hopeless men who you need to leave in the dust.
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28 of 29 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 6, 2003
Format: Paperback
"Ditch that Jerk " was extremely informative, straight forward and easy to read. It accurately depicts an abusive person's characteristics, behaviors, strategies, and actual statements that are used to intimidate and control others. I have passed it onto my husband so he can see that his tactics are documented and will eventually undermine any chance of having a harmonious relationship. "Ditch that Jerk" clearly explains that the abuser knows the difference between right and wrong and if they resist change, the cycle of abuse will continue. This book gives the victim important information to recognize the behavioral patterns and how to get help. I found it to be an excellent book for women that find themselves in a domestic violence situation.
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24 of 25 people found the following review helpful By Fruit Loop VINE VOICE on August 13, 2004
Format: Paperback
An invaluable manual for how to get out of an abusive relationship and how to break the ties afterwards. I also recommend it for women who are looking for a serious relationship and for young teens. There are definite red flags to look for BEFORE you become involved with someone.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Melissa S. on October 5, 2000
Format: Paperback
I chose to read this book because I am an advocate for children and teen victims of domestic violence and dating violence. I found Pamela's book to be very insightful. I found the case studies very interesting and appreciated her very simple and easy to read writing style. Working with teens, I am constantly looking for pertinent info and sometimes have difficulty finding information that they would be able to understand. I would recommend this book to any teenage victim as well as to the friends and families of victims of domestic/dating violence. Pamela Jayne, in addition to addressing the issue of why a person chooses to abuse, also identifies how a victim gets sucked into this cycle of violence and discusses why they might choose to stay.
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23 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Midwest Book Review on February 17, 2001
Format: Paperback
Ditch That Jerk: Dealing With Men Who Control And Hurt Women is specifically written for women in miserable, dangerous, unfulfilled, abusive, stifling, debasing relationships with a husband or boyfriend. A seasoned and experienced expert in the complex field of domestic violence, author Pamela Jayne writes in a direct, honest, candid, informative, inspiring style while drawing upon several real-life examples to aptly demonstrate how the mind of an abusive man works, and how to confidently recognize men as either potentially good, definitely bad, or utterly hopeless. Pamela Jayne's Ditch That Jerk is a very highly recommended addition to contemporary women's issues, dysfunctional relationships, self-help recovery, and self-esteem restoration reading lists.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Susan K. Peters, Counselor, M.S. on October 2, 2000
Format: Paperback
As a domestic violence counselor, I have truly enjoyed reading Pamela's book. Pamela writes as she talks, very down-to-earth. I appreciate her sense of humor and factual information. Pamela writes considerably well about true facts concerning relationships. Many people do not recognize what abuse truly entails. Societal messages often play a part in what a man is suppose to be and what roles a woman should provide. As a result, these messages often create confusion. If we can teach children at a very young age that equality and respect are two major ingredients to a healthy relationship of any kind, then perhaps our society will develop a new concept of men and women. Adults must be positive role models to children; we must teach children respect and equality. If anyone reads Pamela's book, one will see this is the key to developing respectful relationships in our society.
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful By S. Scott on September 22, 2005
Format: Paperback
The book tended to ramble on a bit, but overall, I found it very informative and helpful. The title is this books biggest flaw. The book itself has the potential to help women to tell the difference between a good man who does bad things but can be helped, and a really bad man she should stay away from. Unfortunately, when I tried to get my daughter to read this book, she was offended by the title. Even after I explained the intent of the book, she still refused to take it. She was afraid if her boyfriend saw the book, he would think she was trying to get rid of him and it would cause trouble in their home.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Susan K. Peters, Counselor, M.S. on October 2, 2000
Format: Paperback
I dated a possessive, controlling man for nearly two and a half years before I realized what was really going on. He called me several times a day and always commented on my appearance. I though that he was being thoughtful and attentive, but he was really checking up on me and criticizing my clothes and hair! After reading just a few chapters of this book, I realized what was really happening and was able to leave that dead-end relationship. Now I am pursuing my education and I feel much better about myself. Thanks alot Ms. Jayne.
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