Customer Reviews

Divorce Busting - A Revolutionary and Rapid Program for Staying Together.

5 star:		(33)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

I have been married for 16 years, 3 kids, 2 dogs, great home - what I thought was the perfect life. Almost two years ago my wife came to me and told me she wanted a divorce. She "loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore", was how she put it. She had been going to a therapist for over a year who had encouraged her to "find herself", "make herself happy". Never mind her husband and her children. I agreed to go to counseling sessions with her therapist. The counselor wanted us to explore our past and express our anger at each other. With each session our marriage got worse. I begged my wife to stay in the marriage and keep trying to make it work, not just for us, but for the children. She refused. She said it was over.

I bought "Divorce Busting" after visiting the author's web site. I read that there was a name for what happened to me. It's called the "walkaway wife syndrome". I read the book from cover to cover several times during the next few months. I immediately stopped chasing and begging my wife to return. I employed every technique in the book. I even tried what Michele calls "the last resort technique". I learned that I couldn't change my wife, but I could change myself. If I changed, truly changed my behavior, it would have to change my marriage. I love how this book is so clearly written. I really enjoyed( and continue to enjoy ) setting and achieving my goals. I love how this book gave me hope. It took almost 4 months of constant work on my part, but it worked!! My wife came back. For the first month that she was back, it was touch and go. I continued to use my divorce busting techniques and mindset, and now things are better than they have ever been in our marriage. We're like newlyweds again.

If you need to save your marriage and your family, Divorce Busting is the book to buy! Should be required reading before and during marriage. Thanks Michele!

Justin

I'm a marriage columnist and author of two books on marriage: Marriage 911 and Chocolate Chili Pepper Love. I'm not a professional counselor, I'm a humorist/storyteller and write as a friend to others who are hurting in their relationships. The #1 book I recommend to those "stuck" in problem areas, the book that was most helpful to me during a time of darkness and confusion in my own marriage is Divorce Busting. When couples are hurting they don't usually need a course in WHY (they are already experts at that) -- what they need is HELP and RELIEF. Michelle's warm, practical, engaging advice is the medicine this writer/speaker prescribes for those who want to improve their marriage and maintain a sense of personal peace and dignity in the process. Thank you, Michelle! Keep up the good work.

I couldn't disagree more with the woman from California. Although this book isn't everything for everybody- no book ever is- it completely changed my life. My husband was in the midst of a mid-life crisis, big time. He had an affair, lost weight, the whole bit. Everyone was telling me to leave. But I didn't want to give up seventeen years of marriage when we have 3 kids together. Call me crazy, but through the whole thing, I still knew our marriage could work. But I didn't know how to make that happen. I was so depressed. My friends were tired of talking to me. I went to a therapist who told me to leave. Nothing helped.

Then I saw Divorce Busting in the bookstore. When I read it, it felt like the author had been watching my marriage from my living room. I learned so much from it, not only about getting my husband back, but about all kinds of relationships. The methods WORK! My husband and I have never been happier. I don't usually write reviews, but I just couldn't keep quiet when I read the review from that unhappy woman. I realize that some people can't save their marriages because it's too late. But even if I had not been able to turn things around in my marriage, I feel I am a better, stronger person because of this book. I have the author to thank for saving my marriage!

The book details what Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy (SBT) is about and offers step by step ways to turn failing marriages around- even if only one partner is seeking to save the marriage. The book is written in a direct, non-psycobabble language and is also entertaining. (I found myself chuckling and saying "wow" quite often). SBT is designed to work far faster than traditional therapy- as many as 10 sessions but usually 4-6 sessions with only a couple of weeks between sessions.

The author wrote the book to get the information about SBT out to more people faster because SBT really works. She has received countless letters to this effect as well as having seen successes from her own practice. It is also enlightening to know that she was a "traditional" marriage counselor before shifting to SBT.

Plenty of examples and "how to's" and it is designed to work fast. The author contrasts traditional therapy versus SBT and explains why SBT works and gives some good insight as to why long drawn out traditional therapy often fails- especially if one partner is not willing to reconcile.

Rather than psychoanalyze why husbands or wives are a certain way, she directs the reader to examine "successes" from earlier in the marriage. She then guides the reader towards seeking positive outcomes via short-term simple goals/objectives based on those things that "worked" in the past.

The book also provides insight as to how men and women interact in a marriage environment and how men and women view and react to things differently. It also provides tremendous insight as to how a husband and wife can both be "working" at making a marriage successful, yet still be heading down the road to misery and possibly even divorce.

I would recommend the book to couples spanning the spectrum from newly engaged to those who have already divorced.

I saw the author on the Oprah show. My best friend's wife had already filed for a divorce and he was depressed beyond description about it. I told him to get the book. He got it, read it over and over, used what he read and she started to soften. It took 4 months of hard work on his part. He would tell me every day what technique he was using, and what progress he was making. Today, they are madly in love with each other again. She says he has become a new person. He says their relationship is like it was when they first met. They have become friends again. My wife and I have both read the book and we love the stories. We give copies of the book out at wedding showers and anniversaries. I think Divorce Busting is written in an easy to understand way. If you are married, I recommend that you(and your spouse)read this book!

When my wife left me, one of the first things I did was buy every marriage saving book in the store. This book was the only one worth what I paid for it.

But let me get straight to the "saved my divorce" point. I won't go into details of my sitch because that's a very personal thing. All I can tell you is that this book did not save my marriage. It's over. HOWEVER, using the ideas and information in Divorce Busting saved my relationship with my ex. It also saved me from my own emotional trauma by teaching me how to avoid "triggers" that caused me to become so emotional.

DB is based on something called "short term result oriented therapy". The basic concept is that it's not so important how you "FEEL" as it is what you do. The things you do in your life trigger responses not only in your spouse but also in you. This is fantastic news because it gives you a choice. You can do things that make you happy or you can do things that make you more depressed. Having this choice saved me from the trauma.

No, DB did not save my marriage. But it saved me. I'm a very happy person right now. My ex has given me everything I wanted and I'm doing great things with my life that I never would have done if I hadn't read this book. Divorce isn't so bad when you know how to BE happy.

....I believe this is an excellent book but it should not be the only source of reference. Wiener-Davis approach is perhaps the best approach when the situation has reached such a crisis level. In my opinion once the situation is out of crisis then a long term approach should be used to follow-up. Which is why I rate this book an 8 rather than 10.

While I am currently going through a divorce, my wife used as her explanation of wanting a divorce, "YOU DID NOT MEET MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS". I was comsumed with guilt until I read the SAME QUOATION in Wiener-Davis' book and the reason people use this as an excuse of wanting out of their marriage.

DIVORCE BUSTING help me realize that this was not MY problem but my wife's own failure to interject other external activities into her life. With that I was able to arm myself emotionally and was able to confront my wife with the truth about herself and her situation. My wife's inability to turn the mirror to herself and her unwillingness to change and lack of comittment has led her to take the "easy" way out via blame.

DIVORCE BUSTING also help save my friend's marriage. But in his case both him and his wife read the book and both decided to make changes. In fact I'd venture to say that their situation was worst. However they both are committed to each other.

Another thing I'd like to point out is Wiener-Davis' assessment of counselors. I can attest to this first hand. During the crisis my counselor labeled me as "passive aggressive". This labelling help "validate" my wife's position. Such labelling only inflames the situation and such labelling is ineffective. For example, is my 9y/o engaged in "passive aggressive" behavior if I have to call his name three time to get his attention. This is the type of ineffective counselling that occurs during a crisis that often assist the other party toward divorce rather than reconciliation.

....I highly recommend this book. There is much too much divorce and often times, I believe, marriages can be salvaged.

I got this book not because I was headed for divorce, but having a difficult time in my marriage as happens to everyone that has been married for awhile. As a married person, I know my thoughts of "should I leave this?" are not all that uncommon in today's society. I was at a place where I was really asking myself that question. This book was really a lifesaver for me and my marriage when I got it. Michelle Weiner states "No marriage is an island".Some marital difficulties can be precipitate by happenings outside the marriage. It is easiest to blame the one's we are close to! This book helped me see how I myself often pointed accusational fingers at my husband, when I was truelly not always the one willing to work on things. I often blamed him when other areas of my life were not going well. My relationship has actually improved greatly for the better since I read this book which was six months ago. I was able to view Michele's philosophy that all marriages are salvagable, and most are worth saving. I saw mine that way. I remind myself of all the reasons why I married my husband, and keep myself in check now. I believe that this book is very helpful, and especially if a person wants to try to save a marriage that looks like it is heading for divorce.

This book gives realistic tools to identify individual traits that a spouse finds unfavorable. It shows you how to identify the cause of marital trouble and make changes to repair the damage you and your spouse have endured. Good luck, dont wait to fix your marriage. I have already started to use the knowledge of this text to save my marriage which is currently at a 7 week seperation. Tonight was the first time I communicated my feelings in years and I feel good even though I have little more hope than I did yesterday of reconciling

I have not read this book. But I read the reviews. And 11 months ago, when my friend was leaving her husband, I got the book to him. A couple of weeks later, he called me and told me that this book changed his life. He said that based on this book, he changed his behavior, and then his wife changed her mind and agreed to go to marriage counseling. They found an excellent counselor and now they are together and happier than they have ever been.

UPDATE: I just read this book a few weeks ago, and it's one of the best--maybe the best--relationship book I've read. Although it markets to preventing divorce, it's a fantastic relationships book, period.

NEW UPDATE: My friend's wife did wind up leaving him a year later. But I believe he had also stopped putting the things in this book into practice.

I tried going on the free chatboard for this book but I do not recommend it except for those who are trying to win their spouse back. The people on the board are mostly all desperate and therefore are very negative toward the relationships and partners of people who just want to solve an issue for improvement.