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Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again Paperback – February 1, 1993


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 252 pages
  • Publisher: A Fireside Book; Reprint edition (February 1, 1993)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0671797255
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671797256
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (84 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #33,935 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Weiner-Davis offers down-to-earth, effective advice to couples working together and to individuals attempting unilaterally to save a troubled marriage.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

With a 50 percent divorce rate in the United States, this is a welcome guide to keeping marriages intact. Weiner-Davis employs solution-oriented brief therapy (SBT) to solve immediate marriage problems, in only four to ten sessions. Unlike conventional, long-term therapy, Weiner-Davis uses very concrete, basic information to work on present and future issues. Remembering and focusing discussions on what worked in a relationship instead of what went wrong is an important element for a positive outcome in SBT. There are some easy answers presented, such as flipping a coin to end disputes or limiting time spent discussing a certain subject. Relationships do not turn around overnight, but a hug or dinner out are small changes for the better. Another title close in theme is George Pransky's Divorce Is Not the Answer (TAB, 1990). Highly recommended for most public libraries.
- Lisa Wise, Steele Memorial Lib., Elmira, N.Y.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Michele Weiner Davis, MSW, is an internationally renowned relationship expert, highly acclaimed speaker and author of several books including the best-selling The Sex-Starved Marriage, and the best-selling Divorce Busting, The Divorce Remedy, Getting Through to the Man You Love, Change Your Life and Everyone in It, and In Search of Solutions. She has appeared as a regular guest on Oprah, 48 Hours, the Today show, CBS This Morning, and 20/20. Michele is the Founder and Director of The Divorce Busting Center with offices in Colorado and Illinois. Her popular websites, www.divorcebusting.com and www.sexstarvedwife.com offer visitors practical information for making their marriages more loving and lusty. She lives in Colorado with her husband.

On a personal note, there was a specific reason Michele developed a passion for helping couples fall in love again and keep their marriages and families together. She grew up in an East Coast version of the Walton family. Michele had two parents who loved her and her two brothers. Her parents never fought. Michele had lots of friends and was a good student, so life for her as a child was wonderful. There was a big extended family, so holidays were warm and memorable.

All this came to a screeching halt when she turned 16 and was a senior in highschool. Her mother sat the whole family down and told them that she had been unhappy for 23 years of marriage. Needless to say, this was a shocking revelation because Michele's parents never fought. Then her mother announced, "There comes a time in everyone's life when you have to throw in the towel." Those words changed Michele's life forever. Not only did her parents marriage dissolve, her warm, nurturing family disbanded completely. Her mother had been the hub of the wheel in the family and when she divorce, she resigned from the position. Michele left for college shortly after this announcement and as she did, her home, her family fell apart.

As a result, Michele has been determined to make her own marriage work and to learn everything she could about what it takes to have a healthy and loving relationship so that she could teach it to everyone who crossed her path. This fire within her led her to specializing in work with couples and writing the best-selling book, Divorce Busting. She feels blessed that she has helped hundreds of thousands of couples to renew their love and decide to make their marriages work. She's convinced that people don't just fall out of love, they simply don't have the skills they need to make love last. And these skills, she believes, can definitely be acquired. Visitors to her web site www.divorcebusting.com find resources to resolve conflict and reconnect. This is her mission in life- to help people restore their love.

For more information, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michele_Weiner-Davis

Customer Reviews

If you are going through a separation or divorce I highly recommend reading this book.
Samiam71
Good book and advice to read and follow to help strengthen your relationship, even if you are not on the brink of divorce.
ChristieL.
I was able to view Michele's philosophy that all marriages are salvagable, and most are worth saving.
Sarah Luciani

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

214 of 217 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 21, 2001
Format: Paperback
I have been married for 16 years, 3 kids, 2 dogs, great home - what I thought was the perfect life. Almost two years ago my wife came to me and told me she wanted a divorce. She "loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore", was how she put it. She had been going to a therapist for over a year who had encouraged her to "find herself", "make herself happy". Never mind her husband and her children. I agreed to go to counseling sessions with her therapist. The counselor wanted us to explore our past and express our anger at each other. With each session our marriage got worse. I begged my wife to stay in the marriage and keep trying to make it work, not just for us, but for the children. She refused. She said it was over.
I bought "Divorce Busting" after visiting the author's web site. I read that there was a name for what happened to me. It's called the "walkaway wife syndrome". I read the book from cover to cover several times during the next few months. I immediately stopped chasing and begging my wife to return. I employed every technique in the book. I even tried what Michele calls "the last resort technique". I learned that I couldn't change my wife, but I could change myself. If I changed, truly changed my behavior, it would have to change my marriage. I love how this book is so clearly written. I really enjoyed( and continue to enjoy ) setting and achieving my goals. I love how this book gave me hope. It took almost 4 months of constant work on my part, but it worked!! My wife came back. For the first month that she was back, it was touch and go. I continued to use my divorce busting techniques and mindset, and now things are better than they have ever been in our marriage. We're like newlyweds again.
If you need to save your marriage and your family, Divorce Busting is the book to buy! Should be required reading before and during marriage. Thanks Michele!
Justin
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81 of 83 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 19, 2001
Format: Paperback
I couldn't disagree more with the woman from California. Although this book isn't everything for everybody- no book ever is- it completely changed my life. My husband was in the midst of a mid-life crisis, big time. He had an affair, lost weight, the whole bit. Everyone was telling me to leave. But I didn't want to give up seventeen years of marriage when we have 3 kids together. Call me crazy, but through the whole thing, I still knew our marriage could work. But I didn't know how to make that happen. I was so depressed. My friends were tired of talking to me. I went to a therapist who told me to leave. Nothing helped.
Then I saw Divorce Busting in the bookstore. When I read it, it felt like the author had been watching my marriage from my living room. I learned so much from it, not only about getting my husband back, but about all kinds of relationships. The methods WORK! My husband and I have never been happier. I don't usually write reviews, but I just couldn't keep quiet when I read the review from that unhappy woman. I realize that some people can't save their marriages because it's too late. But even if I had not been able to turn things around in my marriage, I feel I am a better, stronger person because of this book. I have the author to thank for saving my marriage!
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77 of 82 people found the following review helpful By Becky Freeman on June 4, 2000
Format: Paperback
I'm a marriage columnist and author of two books on marriage: Marriage 911 and Chocolate Chili Pepper Love. I'm not a professional counselor, I'm a humorist/storyteller and write as a friend to others who are hurting in their relationships. The #1 book I recommend to those "stuck" in problem areas, the book that was most helpful to me during a time of darkness and confusion in my own marriage is Divorce Busting. When couples are hurting they don't usually need a course in WHY (they are already experts at that) -- what they need is HELP and RELIEF. Michelle's warm, practical, engaging advice is the medicine this writer/speaker prescribes for those who want to improve their marriage and maintain a sense of personal peace and dignity in the process. Thank you, Michelle! Keep up the good work.
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42 of 44 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 18, 2000
Format: Paperback
The book details what Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy (SBT) is about and offers step by step ways to turn failing marriages around- even if only one partner is seeking to save the marriage. The book is written in a direct, non-psycobabble language and is also entertaining. (I found myself chuckling and saying "wow" quite often). SBT is designed to work far faster than traditional therapy- as many as 10 sessions but usually 4-6 sessions with only a couple of weeks between sessions.
The author wrote the book to get the information about SBT out to more people faster because SBT really works. She has received countless letters to this effect as well as having seen successes from her own practice. It is also enlightening to know that she was a "traditional" marriage counselor before shifting to SBT.
Plenty of examples and "how to's" and it is designed to work fast. The author contrasts traditional therapy versus SBT and explains why SBT works and gives some good insight as to why long drawn out traditional therapy often fails- especially if one partner is not willing to reconcile.
Rather than psychoanalyze why husbands or wives are a certain way, she directs the reader to examine "successes" from earlier in the marriage. She then guides the reader towards seeking positive outcomes via short-term simple goals/objectives based on those things that "worked" in the past.
The book also provides insight as to how men and women interact in a marriage environment and how men and women view and react to things differently. It also provides tremendous insight as to how a husband and wife can both be "working" at making a marriage successful, yet still be heading down the road to misery and possibly even divorce.
I would recommend the book to couples spanning the spectrum from newly engaged to those who have already divorced.
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