Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again (Paperback)

by Michele Weiner-Davis (Author) "ANN WAS THOROUGHLY CONVINCED THAT HER MARRIAGE OF FIFteen years was over..." (more)
Key Phrases: brief therapists, unproductive patterns, symptom substitution, Butterfly Effect

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Weiner-Davis offers down-to-earth, effective advice to couples working together and to individuals attempting unilaterally to save a troubled marriage.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
Arlene Modica Matthews

author of Why Did I Marry You, Anyway?

This refreshing approach for breaking relationship stalemates may be just the catalyst for change your relationship requires.

<br /><br />Claire Berman

author of A Hole in My Heart: Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out

By focusing on the positive and the possible, Weiner-Davis offers couples hope and much needed help in making marriages work.

--Arlene Modica Matthews

Claire Berman author of A Hole in My Heart: Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out By focusing on the positive and the possible, Weiner-Davis offers couples hope and much needed help in making marriages work. -- Review

Claire Berman author of A Hole in My Heart: Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out By focusing on the positive and the possible, Weiner-Davis offers couples hope and much needed help in making marriages work. --Claire Berman

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster (February 1, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671797255
• ISBN-13: 978-0671797256
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (47 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #12,414 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #17 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Conflict Management
  #18 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Divorce
  #20 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Counseling > Couples & Family Therapy

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

151 of 152 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Saved My Marriage, August 21, 2001

By A Customer

I have been married for 16 years, 3 kids, 2 dogs, great home - what I thought was the perfect life. Almost two years ago my wife came to me and told me she wanted a divorce. She "loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore", was how she put it. She had been going to a therapist for over a year who had encouraged her to "find herself", "make herself happy". Never mind her husband and her children. I agreed to go to counseling sessions with her therapist. The counselor wanted us to explore our past and express our anger at each other. With each session our marriage got worse. I begged my wife to stay in the marriage and keep trying to make it work, not just for us, but for the children. She refused. She said it was over.

I bought "Divorce Busting" after visiting the author's web site. I read that there was a name for what happened to me. It's called the "walkaway wife syndrome". I read the book from cover to cover several times during the next few months. I immediately stopped chasing and begging my wife to return. I employed every technique in the book. I even tried what Michele calls "the last resort technique". I learned that I couldn't change my wife, but I could change myself. If I changed, truly changed my behavior, it would have to change my marriage. I love how this book is so clearly written. I really enjoyed( and continue to enjoy ) setting and achieving my goals. I love how this book gave me hope. It took almost 4 months of constant work on my part, but it worked!! My wife came back. For the first month that she was back, it was touch and go. I continued to use my divorce busting techniques and mindset, and now things are better than they have ever been in our marriage. We're like newlyweds again.

If you need to save your marriage and your family, Divorce Busting is the book to buy! Should be required reading before and during marriage. Thanks Michele!

Justin

61 of 62 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars #1 Most Recommended Book, June 4, 2000

By	Becky Freeman "beckyworms" (Greenville, Tx United States) - See all my reviews

I'm a marriage columnist and author of two books on marriage: Marriage 911 and Chocolate Chili Pepper Love. I'm not a professional counselor, I'm a humorist/storyteller and write as a friend to others who are hurting in their relationships. The #1 book I recommend to those "stuck" in problem areas, the book that was most helpful to me during a time of darkness and confusion in my own marriage is Divorce Busting. When couples are hurting they don't usually need a course in WHY (they are already experts at that) -- what they need is HELP and RELIEF. Michelle's warm, practical, engaging advice is the medicine this writer/speaker prescribes for those who want to improve their marriage and maintain a sense of personal peace and dignity in the process. Thank you, Michelle! Keep up the good work.

35 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helped save my marriage!, February 18, 2000

By A Customer

The book details what Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy (SBT) is about and offers step by step ways to turn failing marriages around- even if only one partner is seeking to save the marriage. The book is written in a direct, non-psycobabble language and is also entertaining. (I found myself chuckling and saying "wow" quite often). SBT is designed to work far faster than traditional therapy- as many as 10 sessions but usually 4-6 sessions with only a couple of weeks between sessions.

The author wrote the book to get the information about SBT out to more people faster because SBT really works. She has received countless letters to this effect as well as having seen successes from her own practice. It is also enlightening to know that she was a "traditional" marriage counselor before shifting to SBT.

Plenty of examples and "how to's" and it is designed to work fast. The author contrasts traditional therapy versus SBT and explains why SBT works and gives some good insight as to why long drawn out traditional therapy often fails- especially if one partner is not willing to reconcile.

Rather than psychoanalyze why husbands or wives are a certain way, she directs the reader to examine "successes" from earlier in the marriage. She then guides the reader towards seeking positive outcomes via short-term simple goals/objectives based on those things that "worked" in the past.

The book also provides insight as to how men and women interact in a marriage environment and how men and women view and react to things differently. It also provides tremendous insight as to how a husband and wife can both be "working" at making a marriage successful, yet still be heading down the road to misery and possibly even divorce.

I would recommend the book to couples spanning the spectrum from newly engaged to those who have already divorced.