Customer Reviews

Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children From Parental Alienation

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
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As a parent of a severely emotionally abused PAS child who suddenly turned her love for me into obsessive hatred, I can't recommend this book highly enough. I groped around for years not knowing why or how this could have happened to our once very tender and loving relationship. Now from this book I know why and I know how. Simply put my daughter was abused and poisoned by her mother and others with hatred of me, her father, instead of being instilled with love and respect for her father. This Dr. Darnall points out quite clearly in this masterpiece of a book on this very important subject about parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome. For any parent going through a divorce who truly loves their children and doesn't want them to spend the rest of their lives in pain and suffering over the loss of a parent for no good reason, other than one parent's obsessive hatred of the other, then you must read this book.

Divorce Casualties adds a new dimension to the work that already exists on the topic of parental alienation. Parental alienation involves the phenomenon of parents subjecting their ex-spouse to oftentimes-unwarranted ridicule and rejection at the hands of their own children. The children, in essence, become pawns in a full-scale war launched by the disgruntled, jealous, or possibly vengeful ex-spouse/parent. The unfortunate and extremely damaging events associated with parental alienation have the potential to effectively sever the ex-spouse's relationship with their children, while permanently altering the developmental processes of the children who are entrenched in this unhealthy context.

Dr. Darnall's book is easy to read, as well as extremely informative. His use of case studies adds great depth, while ensuring a thorough understanding of the subject-matter. Best of all, regardless of your marital or relational status, this book contains valuable parenting insights targeted at strengthening the relationship that you and your child(ren) share.

This book gives lots of senarios that will probably sound familiar. The author doesn't go into solutions about the "other parent" alienating children. This is a great book if you are having trouble with your own emotions and putting your own feelings in front of the childrens best interests. It is a Alienation 101 type of book. If you have read numerous books and articles about how alienation works and why it happens and you can rise above it then this book is probably not for you. Also, if you don't think you have contributed to at least minor alienation or counteralienation then it's probably a good idea to read this book but with a very open mind. This book is a good resource to grasp the idea of alienation and to take a good look at your own actions. I would then recommend reading Divorce Poison by Dr. Richard Warshak. It offers proactive ways of actually protecting your children from alienation that you don't have control over. i.e. your ex spouse, grandparents, etc.

This book put into words and explained what was happening to me & my children in my divorce. This book is outstanding and very helpful to anyone who is having trouble seeing their kids or dealing with a spouse who uses the children as a weapon for hurt. This book gives good advice on how to proceed once you have identified that parental alienation is taking place.

If you have an ex that is confrontational -- read this! This book has helped ME become a better parent by extending the olive branch to a man that continues to be miserable.

My ex is vindictive and spitful towards ME, therefore he uses the kids as his pawns in order to get back at me. They are easy to use because they are afraid of him. I don't feel my ex is a great parent, BUT he is the BEST PARENT he can BE with what HE knows. (I wouldn't have said that BEFORE I read this book) Now his parenting style may be totally different than mine, and I may not agree with half of what he does with them...but you know what? He hasn't harmed them physically... The emotional part is another story...and that is what I have to deal with on a daily basis. This book helped me IMMENSELY with that. My kids KNOW who to come to....who to rely on...but it is not based on hatred or anger at the other parent. It is with understanding that Dad just is the kind of Dad they need in certain areas...and that's OK. He still loves them in the best way that he can. And I encourage the bonds of parenting with him.

How do you handle situations where the ex is not "able" to care for the kids? How do you encourage those bonds without any repercussions? What do you say to the kids when Dad isn't able to be there for them?

All those points are covered in this book. It's not a book filled with theory without any REAL LIFE solutions. We already know we have problems with the ex, now what do we do? Dr. Darnall gives you solutions on what to say, how to do, in order to keep the peace and place healthy boundaries in supporting your kids.

I personally found it to be wonderful and VERY insightful. Although it is geared towards the Mommies that are trying to bash daddies.... I KNOW for a fact that Daddies can do the same to Mommies.

What a fantastic book! This should be required reading for all divorced parents. If you think you handle divorce and visitaion well, think again! I thought I was doing great with my step-son until I read this book and realized some innocent things that I have said to him are NOT appropriate. What an eye opener. Thank you

My expectations were a little high for this book. It was written very well, I was just disappointed in it. It just reinforced my feelings as to how unfair parental alienation can be and how so little is being done in the courts to discourage this. I guess I was hoping for a "miracle answer" to this problem.

Dr. Darnall has provided a rock solid foundation for the most important aspect of the Parental Alienation Syndrome: A detailed, clear, psychological definition of an ailment so pervasive and ill-defined that many educated professionals disregard the term as a mere hot-button topic instead of what it really is - Abuse.

What is most valuable to the reader is that Dr. Darnall provides a full spectrum view of this syndrome by describing in precise detail THREE categorical definitions of parental alienation.

This is extremely important. For example, if the definition of murder were to kill a living thing, then anyone seen swatting a mosquito would be justifiably incarcerated.

Every parent, at one point or another, can be "guilty" of "parental alienation" whether divorced -- or married. Dr. Darnall explains this first category with utter compassion for the human condition. Any critical word or gesture within earshot of a child could be interpretted as such, but Dr. Darnall explains what could cause such action and what the parent can do about it.

The second category provides insight into how easy it could be to make a habit of such alienating tactics if gone unchecked - and more importantly, what to do about it.

Perhaps the most valuable part of the book reflects my own personal experience since I have been abused by what Dr Darnall defines as the "Obsessed Parental Alienator" for seven years. It is my conviction that Dr. Darnall's diagnosis of this ailment will be listed in the noted psychological reference manual, DSM IV, providing practitioners a means to correctly diagnose and treat their patients.

Additionally, it will provide to all victims and their families a path toward healing since it is almost impossible to heal without knowing the name of what is causing such harm.

Please read this book. Please recommend it. The power to abuse children is negated if everyone possesses the information in Divorce Causualties.

I actually have a better time reading anything if it has some sort of practical work related to the reading. I enjoyed Dr. Darnall's book because it offers this treat. It is a treat in that you will be surprised at your abilities, or lack thereof, to grasp important information and determine better how to use it.
In this book, Divorce Casualties,it opens your practical mind to the depth, height, breadth and width of the subject--how to protect your spouse's , children's and your relationship with each other while going through this, the toughest of times.
I have my own sick story, but my being the targeted parent just got more insight because I am learning from this book some things that I did not think were a hazard to my children--that I am responsible for. The execises in the book helped me open that door upstairs that used to only be opened by me. Now, I have a practical list of tips to check myself on when I am with my children, thus, I am able to share my time more effectively with them, and be the strong, loving parent they need.
After all, they are the most precious things in our lives. Are they not? If we are not thinking THAT from the opening and the closing of this book, then it will be a waste of our time to read it. You must be able and willing to admit your role in the subject of this book, and, therefore, be willing to make needed changes.
It is a great thing to have read this book.

This book should be required reading not only for parents going through divorce, but for couples planning to have children.It is more than just a book about how to deal with divorce. It is a study guide that in all reality could prevent some couples w/children from getting a divorce. Or at least educate parents contemplating divorce on how to deal with their children,and each other.