The Divorce Culture: Rethinking Our Commitments to Marriage and Family [Paperback]

Barbara Dafoe Whitehead (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 3, 1998

the author's Atlantic Monthly article "Dan Quayle Was Right" ignited a media debate on the effects of divorce that rages still. In this book she expands her argument, making it clear Americans need to strengthen their resolve with regard to divorce prevention, new ways of thinking about marriage, and a new consciousness about the meaning of committment. 240 pp. Author tour. Radio satellite tour. 60,000 print.


From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Vintage (February 3, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0679751688
• ISBN-13: 978-0679751687
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #779,690 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Completely mind-opening, February 10, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The Divorce Culture: Rethinking Our Commitments to Marriage and Family (Paperback)

This book examines families for what they are supposed to be -- stable institutions for the raising of children. Of course, when there is abuse, whether it be chemical, physical, sexual, or emotional, a family cannot function properly. But when parents get divorced to find "personal fulfillment," they do so at the great expense of their children and ultimately society. The book argues for putting children's needs above parents' wants. It's a bit radical, because I believe most of us think of marriages in terms of strictly romance, and when that romance is gone, so is the marriage.

The book examines how the easy culture of divorce leads into other areas of life -- how we divorce friends, family, and jobs much quicker than we used to. But has this great pursuit of happiness, under the guise of divorce, really made us happier? It's taught us that when the going gets rough, it's time to say good-bye. The book examines what happens to children after divorce, and overwhelmingly the children are much worse emotionally and financially, no matter what we want to believe.

My husband of 20 years filed for divorce four months ago (we have four children, all under the age of 14). A friend to whom I will forever remain indebted "made" us both read this book. It simply changed our lives. We've quit being selfish and have resolved to stick by for better AND for worse. Life is far from perfect, but I am 100% certain that all our lives are better now than they would be during and after the turmoil of divorce. The book argues that when children are involved, a home is broken, and since home is a critical element in a child's self-esteem, there is no doubt that a child's self-esteem is affected as well.

Ms. Whitehead deserves a Pulitzer Prize for daring to say what needs to be said to protect our world's most precious commodity: our children. This should be an absolute must-read for anyone even contemplating divorce.

37 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The truth hurts, October 26, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Divorce Culture: Rethinking Our Commitments to Marriage and Family (Paperback)

One reader criticizes the book as being "moralistic". Darn straight, and it's about time, too. Superb book that challenges the reader to take a long, cold, hard look at the reality of divorce. Of course, those that feel threatened by such a challenge won't "like" it very much, but then again, such a book is not meant to be "liked". It's meant to educate.

28 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very different, but valuable, book on divorce, March 2, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Divorce Culture: Rethinking Our Commitments to Marriage and Family (Paperback)

As an individual coping with a possible divorce, I didn't think a "sociology-oriented" book would help me. I want "person-oriented" books. But because of the raw intelligence of this woman, and the readability of this scholarly text, I was able to read it like a novel. I couldn't put it down. Whitehead provides a bird's-eye view of this whole situation - and she makes us think of (incredibly) how easy it is to overlook the children. Who do we think we're fooling. Divorce is very bad, in countless ways for children, despite our need to try and convince ourselves otherwise.