Customer Reviews

The Divorce Culture: Rethinking Our Commitments to Marriage and Family

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book examines families for what they are supposed to be -- stable institutions for the raising of children. Of course, when there is abuse, whether it be chemical, physical, sexual, or emotional, a family cannot function properly. But when parents get divorced to find "personal fulfillment," they do so at the great expense of their children and ultimately society. The book argues for putting children's needs above parents' wants. It's a bit radical, because I believe most of us think of marriages in terms of strictly romance, and when that romance is gone, so is the marriage.

The book examines how the easy culture of divorce leads into other areas of life -- how we divorce friends, family, and jobs much quicker than we used to. But has this great pursuit of happiness, under the guise of divorce, really made us happier? It's taught us that when the going gets rough, it's time to say good-bye. The book examines what happens to children after divorce, and overwhelmingly the children are much worse emotionally and financially, no matter what we want to believe.

My husband of 20 years filed for divorce four months ago (we have four children, all under the age of 14). A friend to whom I will forever remain indebted "made" us both read this book. It simply changed our lives. We've quit being selfish and have resolved to stick by for better AND for worse. Life is far from perfect, but I am 100% certain that all our lives are better now than they would be during and after the turmoil of divorce. The book argues that when children are involved, a home is broken, and since home is a critical element in a child's self-esteem, there is no doubt that a child's self-esteem is affected as well.

Ms. Whitehead deserves a Pulitzer Prize for daring to say what needs to be said to protect our world's most precious commodity: our children. This should be an absolute must-read for anyone even contemplating divorce.

One reader criticizes the book as being "moralistic". Darn straight, and it's about time, too. Superb book that challenges the reader to take a long, cold, hard look at the reality of divorce. Of course, those that feel threatened by such a challenge won't "like" it very much, but then again, such a book is not meant to be "liked". It's meant to educate.

As an individual coping with a possible divorce, I didn't think a "sociology-oriented" book would help me. I want "person-oriented" books. But because of the raw intelligence of this woman, and the readability of this scholarly text, I was able to read it like a novel. I couldn't put it down. Whitehead provides a bird's-eye view of this whole situation - and she makes us think of (incredibly) how easy it is to overlook the children. Who do we think we're fooling. Divorce is very bad, in countless ways for children, despite our need to try and convince ourselves otherwise.

As a divorced man, I had thoughts and beliefs that my divorce was unnecessary and could have been avoided. This book verified all that I had been thinking about divorce. At the current rate, divorce has serious potential to destroy the very fabric that our society is built on. If you are considering a divorce or are getting divorced, read this book! It is in the best interest to save every marriage that we can.

If you want a feel good book about your decision to divorce, this is not the book for you. If you are seriously concerned about the welfare of your children, this is an absolute must read. Yes, there are times when divorce is the only option available. When I found myself in this sad precidament, I realized my most important responsibility was to my children. The information in this book empowered me to give my children--who were innocent victims of my divorce--the best chance possible for surviving and thriving. It was not necessarily a comfortable read for me, but in retrospect, was absolutely crucial to my children's welfare. Buy it. Read it.

I selected this book for a graduate class book report on socio-economic issues that effect education. As an educator, I applaud Whitehead's frank discussion of the stakeholders in the divorce culture; not only the child, but society as well. One place I found evidence of this "culture" is the Texas Attorney General's web site for child support. We have state and federal programs to identify paternity and laws to make absentee parents accountable. As a divorcee, but without children, I was moved by Whitehead's discussion of the search for happiness. When their are children involved, whose happiness can we celebrate?

Does a fine job of reviewing the role that feminist ideology and lesbian propaganda had in causing women to develop a selfish and utilitarian view of marriage and parenting; does an outstanding job in exposing the psychological and social pathology this has created in the children of the baby boomers who assumed this view. However, it seems to gloss over the factors which caused MEN to accept disposable marriage as the norm; in my opinion there are two that are most salient:

1. Hollywood - both the on-screen glamorization of extramarital affairs (Love is a Many-Splendored Thing, Coming Home) and the coy, winking discussion in the popular press about the off-screen marital antics of the likes of Elizabeth Taylor.

2. the trophy wife phenomenon among executives and entrepreneurs - Not only the acquiescence to, but the actual participation in this routine by Republican politicians has allowed their political opponents to expose them as hypocrites when they claim to be the only political voice of those who wish to maintain religion-based moral standards in public life. This results in those who wish to maintain these standards really having no political champions at all; as a consequence, I believe that this is the greatest single factor contributing to moral decay in modern American life.

We need more books like this one.

Two months before my much anticipated 25 year wedding anniversary she walked out. I spent a long time wondering why -- then I read this book and now I get it. I would recommend this book.

Dr. Laura recommends this book for reading by divorced people who are contemplating dating/bringing a new mate into the kids lives.