Divorce: God's Will? [Paperback]

Stephen Gola (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 6, 2006

God uses divorce to save lives! Many divorced people have felt that they have let God down. Those who need to divorce feel that they are going against God's will. But no more! God Himself has spoken on their behalf. The Lord said to the author, "Son, sit down, I want to teach you about divorce." Divorce: God's Will? is the result of God's command to help people come out from under the condemnation of religion and to experience His love. This book is full of hope and compassion! It reveals God's true heart to those who are in a bad marriage and those who have gone through a divorce. There is so much love and power that flows from these pages that it literally releases the reader from condemnation and brings their heart to total peace. Since God's Word, the Bible, is the foundation for marriage and divorce, the author has plainly established and made clear from the Bible that God is for divorce. God cares more for the man and woman who make up the marriage than He cares for the marriage itself. Divorce: God's Will? covers everything from staying in a bad marriage too long, to that ever-elusive subject, Submission. This book is destined to be the psychologist's, clergy's, and family/marriage counselor's most referenced companion. You can learn more about Divorce: God's Will? at www.divorcehope.com.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Stephen Gola has never been divorced. He writes the authoritative book Divorce: God's Will? purely from the command of the Lord: "Son, sit down, I want to teach you about divorce". In early 1992 when the Lord gave him the command to write on divorce, Stephen was a widower. Two years later when the book was basically finished, he met his wife, who was divorced. Divorce: God's Will? was NOT written for his own motives, but out of God's heart of love to the people who are or need to be divorced. You can visit Stephen's website at www.divorcehope.com.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

INTRODUCTION

A harmonious marriage between a man and a woman is one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences one can have. But what happens when that beautiful experience is not so beautiful any longer and the love that was so deep has turned into bitterness of heart and hate? What happens when proper counseling has not brought forth the desired fruit, and the hope of the relationship being restored seems lost? And what happens when our spouse turns their back on God, the only true reconciliator of marriages? Is there still hope after all hope appears to be gone? YES!

As painful as this may sound when dealing with a marriage, divorcing or "making one into two" is necessary and needed to save and preserve life. To save a person's life from the destruction of cancer, a surgical separation must take place. To keep our community safe from a known rapist, they must be separated from the community and incarcerated. A rabid animal must be separated so others may not die also. And as painful as it is, there are husbands and wives who are greatly corrupting their spouse and a separation must take place to save and restore them, before both are lost forever.

CARING TOO MUCH FOR THE WRONG THING

You can actually fight God by resisting a divorce. Which is greater in God's eyes: the marriage or the people of the marriage? The priorities in the Church concerning marriage have been greatly misplaced. We have judged the "marriage institution" to be greater than the couples who make up the marriage. The institution is NEVER greater than those who make up that institution. A company is only as good as its people. A strong and mighty nation is made up of courageous people who will stand up for what is right under any circumstances. Moreover, a great marriage is great because the couple has a great relationship, and nothing less. AN INSTITUTION IS ONLY AS GREAT AS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE UP THAT INSTITUTION. When a couple no longer has a great relationship, the marriage is no longer great. When we care more about our marriage than our marriage partner, we have misplaced the emphasis of our relationship. Being married does not create a great relationship. But having a great relationship creates a great marriage.

When we are faced with the decision of either saving the institution or the people of the institution, the institution must go! And when we are faced with the decision of either saving a marriage or the people of the marriage, the marriage must go! Whether it be the Sabbath day, a company, the ministry, the nation, or a marriage, the people of these institutions are always more important than the institutions themselves. ALWAYS!

Jesus said, "And IF YOU HAD ONLY KNOWN WHAT THIS SAYING MEANS, I desire mercy [readiness to help, to spare, to forgive] RATHER THAN sacrifice and SACRIFICED VICTIMS, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE CONDEMNED THE GUILTLESS" (Matthew 12:7 AMP). God is not looking for a husband, wife or the kids to be sacrificial victims just to "keep the marriage going". He would rather for the marriage to be dissolved and the people of the marriage to go free and not to be condemned.

When the focus is placed on saving the marriage instead of saving the people of the marriage, the process for the marriage to fail starts to accelerate greatly. If the focus is not shifted to saving the couple and making them whole, within a short time, the marriage will completely fall apart. In general, the primary thrust of what is called "marriage counsel" does little for individuals who really need the help. I'm not saying that we don't need marriage counseling, because we do. We just need to change the focus of the counseling from saving the institution of marriage, to saving the couples of marriage. If a person has outbursts of rage, abusive actions or some major vice that's controlling their life, counseling the couple on how to "deal" with each other's problems is like putting a band-aid on a wound with a severed artery. If the life-threatening problem is not directly addressed, the person will die.

In the marriage, the real problems, those old wounds, scars, fears, and pains that manifest themselves as outbursts of rage, abusive actions and controlling vices must be addressed first. If wholeness is not grown in the person, the marriage won't be whole. But when wholeness is developed in the couple first, the marriage will be sound. The best way to save a marriage is to first save the people of the marriage. God is very able and does restore broken relationships; but He will not restore a relationship that should be broken.

Product Details

• Paperback: 154 pages
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing (July 6, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1412000882
• ISBN-13: 978-1412000888
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #305,034 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Better books available..., September 12, 2005

By 

Scott R. Moose (Springfield, MO USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Divorce: God's Will? (Paperback)

While I agree with the gist of what this author is trying to communicate regarding the problems with the traditional translations/interpretations on verses relating to divorce and remarriage, I would more highly recommend two other books above this one: Ralph Woodrow's "Divorce & Remarriage - What Does The Bible Really Say" and Callison's "Divorce: A Gift of God's Love." Gola loses some credibility, mid-book, when he get's off on a rather strange tangent trying to explain why people should not marry those of another "race." He then tries to define race based on culture, but the whole chapter seems out of place and doesn't really tie into the main subject. Woodrow's book is complete, yet concise, and an easier read. Callison get's into more detail discussing the distinctions in Greek and Hebrew between "putting away" and "certificate of divorce" which help clarify some of the misunderstandings that have occurred with recent English translations and their application.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a huge eye-opener, March 16, 2005

By 

C. Peterson "GraceJoyFaith" (British Columbia, Canada) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Divorce: God's Will? (Paperback)

Until I read this book, I believed, as many Christians do accept blindly, that divorce was just not allowed. And I believed that if a person got a divorce and then married someone else, both parties in the new marriage were committing adultery.

Therefore, I stayed in a marriage where the man was abusing me for 18 years. My only hope in life was for death of either him or me so I could be free.

Meanwhile, my four children suffered because I was not a happy mom and Dad was mean to Mom. No matter how hard I tried to please him, he always found or invented something else for which to berate me. He felt it was his right as a Christian man to control me and that I was required to "submit" to him whether I liked it or not.

Something just did not seem right about that whole arrangement, but I didn't know how to explain it.

I began searching the internet for any information on divorce being permitted from a Christian standpoint. I realized that I might be "looking for what I WANTED to see," so tried to keep an open mind and to carefully consider the validity of whatever I found, to not just "take someone's word for it" that what they wrote was true.

When I found Stephen Gola's site, it was a foreign subject to me. Could God actually approve of divorce?

I checked out the Scripture references which Mr. Gola explained in his book, "Divorce: God's Will?" to be sure nothing was being assumed. It all began to add up.

After reading the sample pages on the web-site, I wanted to see the whole book, so I ordered a copy. And I was not disappointed at what I read.

Since reading "Divorce: God's Will," I have read many other articles that agree with Mr. Gola's explanation of the common and oft-misinterpreted Scriptures concerning divorce, adultery, and remarriage.

I cannot recommend this book enough, to anyone who has questions about what is right concerning divorce and remarriage. It is an excellent jumping-off point for getting one going on seriously looking into the Bible -- not only for these issues discussed but also for anything else one is studying in the Scriptures. It has made me all the more aware of the need to carefully dissect the Word of God and not rely on tradition.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Racism is anti-Scriptural--not divorce., September 14, 2005

By 

Creative Eclectic - See all my reviews

This review is from: Divorce: God's Will? (Paperback)

Gola's book was the first of many I read on the divorce and remarriage issue. It was refreshing to see someone challenge antibiblical tradition, but what floored me was his chapter entitled, "Marrying Outside Your Race." His premise was that YHWH created different cultural groups for just that reason--to be different. In his eyes "interracial marriage" is a sin. This, however, is not the case.

That section of his work ruined the overall content, and caused me to raise my eyebrows as I read it. His exegesis of Scripture was horrific, and I must beg the question if he's a part of a supremacist Christian group.

Other than the aforementioned chapter, I found the book to be engaging, and he brings up several issues that are often overlooked by the traditional crowd.

My recommendation is to actually buy this book, however. Hopefully Gola will come out with a second edition that deletes the chapter mentioned above.