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Divorce Is a Mitzvah: A Practical Guide to Finding Wholeness and Holiness When Your Marriage Dies

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In "Divorce is a Mitzvah" Rabbi Perry Netter takes the reader through a Jewish perspective of divorce. A mitzvah is defined as a response to the voice of God that commands us to behave in a particular way. While Jewish scholars have many writings on the importance and symbolic significance of marriage and being an ideal couple, there is a dearth of writings concerning divorce.

Rabbi Netter tackles this problem and many of the hardest questions of divorce. Chapters include: "Why is this happening to me?", "Is divorce Kosher?", "What do I do with all this anger?", "How do we tell the kids?", "How do I get to closure?", and "How do we continue to raise children together?". All this is done from an understanding and compassionate position within the Jewish belief system. The book is a highly recommended read for Jewish readers seeking answers on the question of divorce.

"I wish I had read Divorce Is A Mitzvah when I was going through my divorce. Not only would it have given me much-needed moral support but it might have helped to dramatically reduce the levels of anger and recrimination between my soon-to-be ex-husband and myself. I have read other Jewish books on the subject of divorce but none are as loving, caring and helpful as this one; Netter is a human being speaking to other human beings. In addition to offering sage advice, he really does manage to fulfill his aim of ending "the silence in the Jewish world about divorce, and in a small way, help to alleviate much of the unnecessary pain and suffering that seem to be so much a par tof hte ontemporary divorce." This book should be required reading for all couples because the device that it gives and the divine clarity that it sheds will only help them deal even better with their existing marriages -- let alone if they have to come to the sad solution of divorce." ... reviewed in the Jerusalem Post, November 20, 2002

For anyone considering a divorce, for those in the throes of one, or for
those still recovering from one, the title of Netter's book alone will
lighten your burden--Divorce is a Mitzvah, A Practical Guide to Finding
Wholeness and Holiness When Your Marriage Dies. In the book, Netter tells
us what Judaism has to say about divorce. He also discusses the related
topics of love, marriage, anger, and loneliness, using stories from the
Torah to make his points. But as anyone who has ever read a Torah passage
will attest, virtually every word can have multiple translations--or at
least nuances--and this rabbi, a divorced man himself, tends to put a spin
on these tales that can salve the souls of the divorced.

As a practicing Conservative Jew, I found this book and Rabbi Netter's thoughts very helpful and insightful into my own situation. I highly recommend this book for anyone, Jewish or not, going through the pain of a divorce.

This book inspired my wife to divorce. She did not want to go to counselling, she did not want to attempt to work out our problems. I spoke with this Rabbi and he readily dispenses the advice to divorce. He totally glosses over the trauma it brings to children with "they will be all right" and let me tell you -- they are NOT all right. Even if they do recover, that is like making the arguement that since kids recover from broken arms fairly quickly and easily that it is ok to break their arms!

The book is basically a how to guide for a civilized divorce, and some studies show that children actually do worse with this kind of divorce (not mentioned in the book). Furthermore, given the emotional investment of a marriage, the so called civilized divorce rarely happens. Divorce is a serious matter and should not be undertaken lightly. Certainly there are marriages that should end, but there should be a process that one goes through to reach that point, not just we are having trouble: let's divorce.

God does not want divorce. It is not a mitzvah (commandment or good deed). Unbelievable. I thought there were 10 commandments given to Moses.

Rabbi Geller must have been given the 11th that we did not know about. When did that happen I wonder? Hmmm, perhaps before or during her divorce?

Marriage is God's institution and creation. This pseudo-religious nonsense is not supported in the Bible. It's pure self serving and 'new-age' deceptional interpretation.

The flippant :"I deserve to be happy" attitude taken in our disposable culture is part of a moral decline and neurosis that will undermine our lives.

Cite a study. More liberal bull to justify an untenable position of the heart.

Studies show 78% of married couples when asked report they are happy. If you ask then why are 50% divorced, you'll find people re-write history to support their decisions. Totally illusion and totally neurotic.

Marriage is sacred and should not be the lawyers domain - it should be the first and primary occupation of our lives and unfortunately the drivel written in this book and the afternoon talk shows had warped our minds and distorted our hearts from our spouses and God.

Do everything possible to save marriage - get counseling - and if it doesnt work find another counselor. God put you together not to divorce and go find yourself and become someone - but to learn the lessons of life and grow into One together.

God loves children and unless there is serious abuse and a life threatening issue - parents owe themselves, their children, our culture and most importantly owe GOD, the resolve to fight for their marriage not run from it, usually due to one spouse or the other's own selfishness.

A recipient of an "I'm outta here, this next 20 years are about me," send off from my wife.

Mark
Colorado