Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex (Paperback)

~ Richard A. Warshak (Author) "Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to the children, often or constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn the children against..." (more)
Key Phrases: divorce poison, brainwashing parent, reversing alienation, Sam Stone, The Custody Revolution, Poison Control (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex, Richard A. Warshak (The Custody Revolution) offers guidance to parents whose exes portray them to their children in a negative light, whether it's mild, off-the-cuff badmouthing or systematic character assassination. Common psychological wisdom, besides recommending that parents avoid fighting fire with fire, suggests doing nothing. But Warshak has witnessed the feelings of powerlessness and the increasing difficulties that come from doing nothing. So he provides "a blueprint for an effective response grounded in a solid understanding of the techniques and dynamics of parents who poison their children's relationships with loved ones." After describing numerous nuances of inter-parental malignment (brainwashing, false abuse accusations, revisionist history, etc.), Warshak moves on to "Poison Control," both independently and with the help of professional counselors. This book will seem a godsend to the many divorc‚s who are bashed by their ex-spouses. (Regan Books, $26 304p ISBN 0-06-018899-5; Jan.)

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Booklist

Some level of animosity is typical in divorce, but when parents let those feelings degenerate into bad-mouthing, bashing, or brainwashing, they run the risk of emotionally damaging their children, according to child psychologist Warshak. He looks at the poisonous relationships that develop when parents carry criticism of their ex-spouses too far: parents and children estranged from one another, protracted and bitter custody and visitation battles, and even ruined relationships with the extended families. He uses case studies to illustrate how parents--sometimes unconsciously, sometimes deliberately--force children to choose between them and turn against the other parent. He describes a range of difficulties, from tainted parent-child relationships to an emotional disturbance known as parental alienation syndrome. Warshak offers strategies for parents to examine their motivations when they speak against a former spouse, to curb negative impulses, and to repair damage that may already have been done. Useful resource for families dealing with divorce and child rearing. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (February 18, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060934573
• ISBN-13: 978-0060934576
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (81 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #10,762 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars High Conflict Divorce Parents ...PLEASE READ THIS BOOK, January 24, 2002

By	Tanya (Houston, Tx United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex (Hardcover)

I bought this book before the store even unboxed it for their shelf. I have to say that I was totally amazed at how Dr. Warshak nailed the description of my experience with divorce poison, the personality profile of my vindictive ex, and the response and effects I've seen it have on my child. It was like Dr.Warshak had interviewed and observed my family personally.

Divorce poison is a sick and serious issue. I don't wish it on any child or parent. If you feel like you are the target of parental alienation, educate yourself, your ex and anyone (lawyers, therapist, family, etc) who has any part in your custody matter. One of the hardest things about the recent outcome of my two year custody battle is to realize how ignorant the court, forensic psychologist, therapist, school system, and especially the father of my son, are about the power and damaging effects divorce poison has on a child.

If you are recently separated and struggling with a vindictive ex, please do not assume things will blow over or die down. People whose personalities allow them to justify bad-mouthing, bashing or even brainwashing often become consumed by revenge and cannot let it go even when it is detrimental to the child. Read Dr. Warshak's book and take action appropriately.

My lawyer made sure Divorce Poison was on our table in full view at all times during our three day custody trial. I just wish the judge could have read it before interviewing my son.

I totally agree with the prior reviewer that said this book is a bible. Picking it up and reading it every time I feel the frustration reassures me that I am not the sick one here nor am I the bad parent. With Dr. Warshak's recommendations, I can continue to try to foster a healthy relationship with my child while trying to address the poison he is being given.

27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Must buy during a custody dispute and after the divorce!, April 1, 2006

By	DaddyBlogger.com www.daddyblogger.com "www.da... (Battle Creek, MI United States) - See all my reviews

I can say from personal experience that this book is priceless if you have a vindictive ex that uses the children to hurt you during and after a divorce. What your ex does not understand is the substantial damage it will do to the children long-term. To save your relationship with your children and to combat Parental Alienation the only book that actively helps you with point by point examples is this book. Not only have I bought "Divorce Poison", but my children's grandparents have as well. In "Divorce Poison", Dr. Warshak provides many different means by which a vindictive ex will attempt to alienate your children from you. What makes this book so valuable is that Dr. Warshak takes each alienation example and then gives you a TAKE ACTION assignment on how to best combat the attempts by your ex. There are numerous TAKE ACTION sections throughout the book and I must say that his advice truly does work. If your ex is poisoning your children and your relationship with them, this book will help you actively keep control of the situation and maintain a meaningful and loving relationship with those caught in the middle. An interesting point that Dr. Warshak presents is that oftentimes an ex that alienates their children against the other spouse, is the product of a mother or father that also actively attempted to alienate their children. Sad how history repeats itself. By purchasing this book you will help your children, your relationship with them, and you will learn the seven most common errors made by rejected parents. Fatherachildsright.org RobertPedersen April 25th is Parental Alienation Awareness Day!

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The One Book on Divorce you Need to Read, July 15, 2002

By	Randy D. Shillingburg "Long-time fan from WV" (Elkview, WV United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex (Hardcover)

If you should read one book on divorce and the impact on children, this is the one!

This outstanding book provides great advice for parents who are badmouthing other parents, as well as ways the target parents can combat this abuse. Unlike "experts" who have not researched the most effective ways of combatting this type of child abuse, Dr. Warshak has determined through studies that parents who do nothing and say nothing are at risk for eventually losing contact with their children.

Dr. Warshak carefully navigates the misconception that alienation is typically a "woman thing" by citing examples of fathers who alienate. In doing this, the author is able to assure readers that the book is indeed written "in the best interests of children," and not for any gender-based political agenda.

Dr. Warshak's outlook on children, parenting and custody is refreshing and should be required reading for every family court judge, every family law attorney and every person going through a divorce. The author argues very succinctly and very successful that the two parents who were so vital to the welfare and growth of the children during the marriage are just as vital after the divorce. He also illustrates how family courts and mental health experts remove children from the target parent at the first sign of alienation -- which is the exact opposite of what actually works in these cases.

Dr. Warshak argues that target parents need time to rebuild this relationship -- to show that they are not the parent depicted in the diatribes of the parent who is attempting to alienate. Instead, courts typically accept irrational reasons from a child for not wanting to see a parent without examining the root causes for the alienation.

Dr. Warshak carefully crafted a "how to" book for target parents, but, more importantly, he has helped all parents become better parents by encouraging them to examine their true motives for making negative statements about their former spouses. In doing so, this author has created a classic that must be read by anyone who truly cares about children and the impact that divorce has on them.