Customer Reviews

Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation & Collaborative Divorce

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This Nolo Press book is a very basic, extremely helpful and well-organized overview of the mediation/collaboration process. The questionnaires are straightforward and help to simplify some initial decisions. However, I had hoped for more information and advice on negotiating a somewhat more complex financial situation, especially for couples without children. For that, I recommend : Divorce & Money: Everything You Need to Know About Dividing Property and The Complete Guide to Protecting Your Financial Security When Getting a Divorce

Divorce Without Court...if only there could be divorce without lawyers.... Until we get there, we have Nolo's second edition of Divorce Without Court: a Guide To Mediation & Collaborative Divorce.

As someone who was married almost 30 years and went through the life-in-the-blender experience of an acrimonious divorce, I am wholeheartedly in favor of the concepts espoused in this book. However, if you have a contentious situation, you need a more conventional approach. The chapter on deciding whether to mediate or collaborate is excellent, even if it just helps you choose neither. The questions really make you think about your particular situation, and they are very thorough.

This is an incredible resource and a great companion to their other book: Nolo's Essential Guide To Divorce. If you read both, you'll get an excellent education on what to realistically expect, whatever route you choose.

Divorce Without Court contains simple headings, icons, worksheets, and highlighted text in such a way that the text is easy to follow. Some headings present questions - that are answered in the text, others give do's and do nots, while other headings give clear directions for the reader to follow.

One example of how the text clarifies the issues of divorce is the "Tell It Like It Is: A Vocabulary of Emotions" chart. This helps the reader clarify language for the intended audience. For example, the emotions listed include nostalgic, inconsolable, miserable, hysterical, and bereft.

This level of detail about every aspect of divorce follows throughout the book. Stoner makes the text clear and understandable through adept use of language. Headings likewise are short and clear.

Readers - whether they hire an attorney or not - will find this text useful.

In case you've never been involved in an adversarial divorce, it is the most expensive activity you can be involved in. Lawyers charge $400 or more per hour in 0.25 hour increments. So called "forensic accountants" (most of whom could not properly calculate the correct tip for a dinner check) will charge you more than the lawyers will. The divorce industry is a huge one. If you want other people to end up with your money (instead of you and your soon to be ex-spouse), go the route of an adversarial divorce.

If you can maintain some sanity during this very stressful period, a nonadversarial, mediated divorce is the way to go. How much you save will depend on how much you have. But it will definitely be substantial.

This book is a good starting point for a nonadversarial divorce. This book is a very well organized overview of the collaberation and mediation process. There's not a lot of advice on financial issues, especially complicated cases. You will need to seek out other sources for dealing with this.

The sad truth of the matter is that well over half of all marriages end in divorce. There are way too many millionaire divorce lawyers and accountants out there. Save yourself a lot of money. Be reasonable to each other and do it yourself. At least you'll be left with some cash to start the next chapter of your life.

This book is another excellent product of the NOLO series. I've reviewed several of these books on various topics, and have read several others. They always deliver what they promise and I've never been disappointed.

Going through a divorce is an emotionally and financially taxing time. To make matters worse, the complexities of the unknown process and the adversarial conflict that often accompanies divorces increase the stresses tenfold. One has to ask, "can you have a civilized divorce and minimize the financial and emotional conflict?" Attorney - Mediator Katherine E. Stoner answers this question with an unflinching, "Yes!" Her book, "Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation & Collaborative Divorce, 2nd Edition" provides a guide to the steps necessary to negotiate a divorce settlement using divorce mediation or the new innovative approach called collaborative divorce. Even if you chose to go through a divorce the traditional way with both parties "lawyering up," I believe the advice in this book could prove useful in finding resolution, especially if your state requires mediation during the process.

Like all Nolo books, this guide helps make the law accessible to the layperson. It is an easy to read and user friendly guide to the mediation portion of divorce and the newer collaborative divorce. The book does a good job of explaining what mediation is and what the collaborative divorce process is, and then how to find a mediator or collaborative attorney.

Then there are chapters to help you find advisers when needed in the process, gathering information to assist with the process, preparing for your first session, evaluating your progress, effective communication, and negotiation. There is also a chapter on court-sponsored mediation, and another that looks at some of the difficulties that arise during mediation and collaboration of divorce. There is a short chapter on writing up the agreement, and then a short chapter on women and men in mediation and collaborative divorce. The final chapters are on unmarried couples using the processes and using mediation and collaboration after divorce. The book concludes with an appendix that contains a few forms that will be helpful during the process.

If you are going to go through a divorce without representation, this is not the ONLY guide you will need. It will be important to obtain references that include a lot of the nuts and bolts of divorce. This book is very good to help with the process, and to find a mediator or collaborative attorney to assist you. Sometimes courts will also have guides available for people that explain the nuts and bolts. If you have a complex divorce, finding a good mediator or collaborative attorney will be very beneficial, and this guide will assist. The book does not show you exactly how to divide things, just how to work together with a mediator to get it done.

I do think this book will be extremely valuable as an addition to the nuts and bolts type book for anyone who wants to avoid a messy litigated divorce and attempt a mediation or collaborative approach. As an attorney-mediator myself, I believe in mediation 100%. It can be so much more effective than litigating. I don't have the experience with collaborative divorce, but have learned more about the collaborative areas of law during continuing legal education conferences and believe it to be a process that can greatly assist people in certain areas. If you are facing divorce, regardless if you have an attorney or will do it yourself, Stoner's "Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation & Collaborative Divorce" can save you time, money, and reduce the stress associated with an already extremely difficult situation.

Reviewed by Alain Burrese, J.D., author of a regular column on negotiation for The Montana Lawyer.

If you want to learn about the process of mediation or collaborative divorce (where lawyers work with their respective clients, but agree to avoid the court process), this book is a good starting point. If you are trying to figure out what's a fair settlement or resolution, who should get what under the law, don't bother with this book.

The book discusses options for proceeding to divorce without the expense of court through the process of mediation or collaboration. One key feature of these processes is that the divorcing couple actually decides the outcome, with help from the mediator or attorneys. The laws that would dictate the result in a courtroom do not necessarily apply. Because of this, the book doesn't provide clear guidance on how to split assets --

Chapters include:
The Role of Mediation and Collaborative Law in the Divorce Process
What Happens in Mediation
What Happens in Collaborative Divorce
Deciding to Mediate or Collaborate
Proposing Mediation or Collaboration
Finding a Mediator or Collaborative Attorney
Using Advisers and Doing Legal Research
Information Gathering
Preparing for the First SEssion
Evaluating Progress
Communicating & Negotiating
Court-Sponsored Mediation
Difficulties
Writing the Agreement
Women & Men, Unmarried Couples
Mediation and Collaboration After Divorce

There are plenty of worksheets to use for recording issues, outlining concerns, etc. Particularly unique are the model letters from one spouse to the other suggesting mediation or collaboration.

Overall, useful to review if you're contemplating a collaborative divorce. Less useful if you're looking for specific guidance on splitting the assets & liabilities.

Amicable or not, divorce is an unpleasant experience. NOLO's book is a wonderful reference for people to use even if they do wind up in the legal system, if only to become familiar with the terminology and legalese. It also assists people in realizing how many paths and choices there are in divorce. These paths can be emotional, social, financial, or none/all of the above.

It's a good book to have if you and your partner are considering divorce and don't want it to be acriomonious - and it offers online updates, directories, and dictionaries.

Nolo has great products, especially when looking for legal advice. This book will guide you when it comes to mediation instead of using lawyers to end a marriage in divorce. It was well-written and easy to understand and very helpful.

The book gives you a basic run down on why mediation is cheaper and more productive than divorce. As a therapist, I've seen how children suffer the most as couples often utilize them as "pawns" to get what they want in a divorce. Mediation is a very easy and cheap tool so that both parties can walk away equally happy (or unhappy). The book also showed sample letters how you can suggest mediation to your spouse.

If they had published this thirty years ago, I could have save a lot of money and time! If you are contemplating divorce, do not proceed further until you have read this book!