Customer Reviews

I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage

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Full disclosure: I am in this book. Deep, deep, in this book (page 210).
I am not queer by any conventional definition. I am married (to a woman).

I do have an interest in the contemporary conception of marriage, one that is in no way broached by the political debate, but which is approached in an interesting way by the diverse opinions of marriage held by the gay community. The questions: what is marriage, and what does it mean to be married, are central issues in this text, and the numerous responses, especially from those for whom the idea of marriage is new, begin to paint an interesting and humane answer that is wholly different than anything else I have read on the subject. I think a lot of people with political intentions towards marriage could learn something by reading this book... if they could look past the apparently prepoliticized subtitle. Based on my own fairly conventional experience of marriage, my less conventional contribution to this book, and my ongoing curiousity regarding ideas that are often taken for granted, I recommend this book as an almost apolitical examination of a hot button cultural topic.

-- By the way, I would have preferred the book credited the editors as, "thoughtfully unedited by..." Part of what makes this book worth anything is that there are nearly 200 voices present, and nearly no discernable sculpting of the overall message. In my experience, you won't find that anywhere else.

In light of media spectacle that was May 17, 2004, one might think that every gay or lesbian with a boyfriend or girlfriend wanted to go to Massachusetts to get married. This collection brings us back down to earth, showcasing the variety of opinion about gay marriage within the queer community. With so many contributers and so many styles, you never know what you're going to read next. Will it be the director of the ACLU's marriage equality unit explaining the plan of action for future court cases? Will it be the ranting of an anarchist lesbian shaming gays for submitting to the corporate state institution of oppression? Or will it simply be the recollections of a couple who were married and want to share with others the magic of their special day? You may even come across a hilarious letter to the grooms of an impending wedding from an aquaintance who has no idea who either of these people are. With such variety and diversity, you are sure to find something to make you jump out of your seat and shout "Yes!", something to make you laugh, something to make you think, and something to thoroughly enjoy, cover to cover. This book should be required reading for anyone who has anything to say about gay marriage.