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Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations

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I've often reflected on something I experienced when I was studying in college. With a busy semester ahead of me, I decided to take "Death and Dying," an elective that had the reputation of being an exceptionally easy course (a "bird course" we called it back then). On the first day we arrived in the lecture hall, the professor handed out a reading list and what he assured us were the lecture notes for the entire course. With these in hand, we were told, there was little use in showing up for the rest of the year unless we were really and truly interested in the subject matter. It was not a difficult course, he said, and we could probably do fine if we just turned in the assignments and showed up to write the exam. Needless to say, most of us took this as an opportunity to have an evening to ourselves each week rather than actually sitting through long and boring lectures on a subject that was of little interest. Also needless to say, most of us earned very poor grades. I've contrasted this in my mind to courses where the professor challenged us on the first day that his would be an exceedingly difficult course and one that would require the best we had. With such a challenge, many students rose to the challenge. Knowing that expectations were high and knowing that we faced a long and difficult fight, we reacted by putting out more effort and ultimately by doing better.

High expectations, it seems, often results in greater performance. Tragically, we live at a time where we expect very little of teenagers. The teen years, we seem to think, are a time where we can and must expect little. If our teenagers manage to avoid dangerous drugs, manage to avoid pregnancy and manage to avoid completely derailing their lives, we consider these years a success. We maintain low expectations and are not surprised when teenagers deliver very little.

Do Hard Things is a book for teens--and a distinctly different kind of book for teens. "Check online or walk through your local bookstore. You'll find plenty of books written by fortysomethings who, like, totally understand what it's like being a teenager. You'll find a lot of cheap, throwaway books for teens, because young people today aren't supposed to care about books, or to see any reason to keep them around. And you'll find a wide selection of books where you never have to read anything twice--because the message is dumbed down. Like, just for you." But this book is a challenging book, and one written by teens and for teens. It is written by Brett and Alex Harris, whose greatest claim to fame (other than being the younger brothers of Joshua Harris) is being the minds behind The Rebelution--one of the internet's most popular sites for teens and now a series of conferences. This book continues the message they've been communicating in every other forum.

That message is simple but far too often overlooked in society today: rebel against low expectations. They cast a vision of a better way of doing the teen years in which so many teens have been "conditioned to believe what is false, to stop when things feel hard, and to miss out on God's incredible purpose for [the] teen years." They look at five kinds of hard--five different kinds of hard things that can challenge the expectations of those around them: things that are outside of your comfort zone, things that are beyond what is expected or required, things that are too big to accomplish alone, things that don't earn an immediate pay off and things that challenge the cultural norm. They describe each of these through stories and examples drawn primarily from their lives and from the lives of other "rebelutionaries" who have shared their stories with the authors.

Though this book is targeted squarely at teens, I can't deny that the message rubbed off even on this reader whose teen years are far behind. There is something inspiring in watching teens shake off the low expectations that plague their lives and there is something in it that makes me want to examine where I may also have fallen prey to low expectations. Writing as the proud older brother of these authors, Joshua Harris says truly that "Every former teen needs this book, too. I know I do. There's no age-limit on the Rebelution. It's never to late to do hard things."

For too long our expectations of teens, and their expectations of themselves, have been far too low. In Do Hard Things Alex and Brett Harris rebel against low expectations and encourage their peers to meet the challenge of doing tough things for God's sake and for God's glory. I wish I could have read this book when I was a teen. I'm glad that my children will have the opportunity. I pray it will stir them and stir a whole generation of young people, to use their teen years to do the hard things God calls them to do. And I pray that the teen years are only the beginning, only the foundation, of lives lived to the glory of God.

This book is incredible. Many of us have seen teens, young adults, even thirty-somethings who are floundering through life. They can't seem to get any traction. Frankly, this approach to life drives my crazy, because I live on the other extreme. The Harris twins pinpoint the problem as a plague of low expectations when we're teenagers. As a result, we aren't trained to push ourselves and ask how God can use us -- especially during our teen years.

The verse that motivates their ministry is I Timothy 4:12. I smiled when I saw that as it was my life verse until I was 30 and decided I might need a different verse since I wasn't exactly a youth anymore. I've often wondered what my parents did or didn't do that made me believe anything I wanted to do/be was possible if it lined up with God's Word and will.

There was an expectation that everything was training. The teen years weren't a time to goof off. Instead, they were a time to prove myself and gain increasing independence as I proved myself faithful. Everything I've done, accomplished, am doing is a direct result of that philosophy.

In a sense this is exactly what Do Hard Things is about. It challenges teens to intentionally do 5 kinds of hard things:

1. Things that are outside your comfort zone.
2. Things that go beyond what is expected or required.
3. Things that are too big to accomplish alone.
4. Things that don't earn an immediate payoff.
5. Things that challenge the cultural norm.

We'd all benefit from applying those principles to our lives. But how much better if we taught them to young people. I've talked about this book since starting it. Eric is lined up to read it. I'll be giving it as graduation gifts. And it will land in my children's hands by the time they are twelve, so we can fully discuss and apply these principles in their lives.

I was ironing in the laundry room when I saw 19 year olds Alex and Brett Harris, authors of the new book "Do Hard Things" on The Harvest Show, on WHME-TV. I immediately thought of how well they carried themselves. Their enthusiasm and love of God seemed genuine and impressive. I set my iron down to carefully listen to them explain the premise of their book, and was hooked. After all, I have nine children, including four teenagers, and what they were saying to teens their age rang true--Go above and beyond. Do more than expected. Challenge yourself. Love God. Do hard things. I ordered a copy of their book the next day.

Being a bona fide book lover (and God-lover too), I couldn't help but open the book and start reading it before the mailman had even left my driveway, even though at 40-something I am far older than the intended target audience. I was immediately surprised. In the opening pages the Harris brothers describe "an imaginary abbey of Dundelhoff" ... "on the outskirts of a small town in Germany" whose monastic inhabitants "eat colorless, tasteless sludge--once a day. (and) They only drink lukewarm water". The Harris brothers criticize the imaginary monks who "believe that the more miserable they are the holier they are and the happier God is." That seemed like a slam on real monks, and was also a misrepresentation of what the monks I've read about believe. Is it coincidence that these authors chose this example for an illustration of what kind of hard things not to do, or did they know that Martin Luther, who led the protestant break from the Church, was a defected German monk? Further, framed in this way, a monks' life was presented as a folly. I got what they were trying to say--God doesn't want us to be miserable when we do hard things for Him-- but the way they said it seemed like criticism of what real, holy monks do, and the Catholic Church indirectly.

As one would expect from Protestant authors, Martin Luther is presented as a hero in "Do Hard Things". Harris and Harris write, "Neither Wilburforce (a British philanthropist and politician who led a movement to abolish slave trade) nor Luther could have stood against the evils and injustices of their time if they hadn't first learned to stand against the evil in their own hearts." Implied, of course, is that slavery and the Catholic Church were similar *evils*. Catholic parents should take note of these subtleties and point them out to teen readers of this book.

Another criticism of "Do Hard Things" is the Harris brothers' advice to toss out caution when witnessing Christ to others. In the book we are introduced to Grace Mally, a nineteen year old girl who "promised God she would witness to whomever she found at a park near her house. As the story is told, she found "four burly construction workers" painting. Grace said, "I knew I couldn't allow fear to take over," and she approached the workers (who were "surprisingly friendly") to witness to them. This deviates from faith and treads upon being foolish. One young girl alone with four strong, burly strangers in a park is not smart, and it is naïve to think otherwise. Sometimes God gives us healthy fear--hesitation, to keep us safe. I hope young girls reading "Do Hard Things" don't take the Harris brothers' implied suggestion to approach strangers alone and without fear. Again, I get the authors' point--be brave and not afraid to witness Christ to others, but doing so in this instance seems foolhardy.

On the other hand, "Do Hard Things" contains excellent challenges for teens. The Harris brothers encourage their peers to go outside their comfort zones, go beyond what's required, tackle things that are too big to accomplish alone and that don't necessarily pay off immediately. Finally, they encourage teens not to be afraid to go against the crowd. These are good challenges.

The book has other fine attributes. I have to applaud the Harris brothers on their zeal and ambition. The book is well-written, and clear in ideas and examples. Particularly touching are some teens' testimonies, including that of Brittany Lewin, 18, who successfully ran the campaign of Bob Shaffer in the fourth congressional district of Colorado (incidentally a Roman Catholic who was awarded the Benemerenti Medal by Pope John Paul II.) According to the book Brittany states, "I believe the doors God has opened for me and the lessons he has taught me through politics are only preparing me to be the wife and mother He wants me to be. Going from campaign manager to home manager sounds great to me. Being a wife and mother is a higher calling than politics." It is amazing and uplifting to read that this young woman successfully managed a political campaign. It is even more impressive that her priorities are in order and she values the important task of raising children for God. "Do Hard Things" highlights well what various outstanding teens are doing to make a difference in the world.

Overall, "Do Hard Things" has all the right heart. The authors' intent is good. While the framework of the book is distinctly protestant, Catholics can safely share this inspirational work with properly catechized teens. The message "Don't accept low expectations--strive higher" is a good one. I'd like to see Catholic youth explore this idea in the context and beauty of the authentic apostolic Faith. I'm sure we can find a few saints as examples of people who also weren't afraid to do hard things.


Theresa Thomas
Catholic writer and home schooling mom since '94

I wish I could have read this book in high school. I think it verbalizes the cry of teen's hearts everywhere. I wanted to do more. I wanted to be more. I did what I thought I could - if only I could have realized I could do more...but it is never too late to do more and become more. And so, that is the challenge that I will take to heart from this book. Please check out this book and buy a copy for every 13-18 year old that you know...and one for yourself too!!!

Don't let the short length or easy-to-read conversational writing fool you, there's a lot of meat packed into these pages.

This book begins with the story of how Alex and Brett were challenged by their father to do hard things and how they heeded that call and the results of their efforts. It then goes on to discuss what they mean by hard things (and offers suggestions of what the five primary types of hard things are) and how teens today - individually and as groups - can set out to change the world by doing hard things on small and large scales.

The underlying premise of the book is simple: don't waste your teen years doing what it takes to just get by - push yourself and make a difference. It's a message that so many people (not just teens) need to hear and heed - with recent research showing that, on average, people are beginning to extend their adolescence into their 30s (the consequences of which we haven't even begun to understand.)

In addition to recommending this as reading for any Christian teen you know, I would recommend this to anyone who works with teens. It would be great to see youth groups begin to embrace the notion that they can and should be doing hard things. Beyond that, I would encourage 20-somethings (and heck, 30-somethings) who are wondering if this is all there is to life to give it a read and try to catch a vision for what the future will hold if we all move past "good enough" and begin to do hard things.

Twin brothers, Alex and Brett Harris, wrote this book at the ripe old age of 19. The book itself is a testimony to the fact that teenagers can do hard things- like write books. Just look them up on youtube. They really are a sight to behold. Having a tremendous amount of experience in debate, they are taking on scholars twice their age. And the Harris family is no stranger to such a feat like writing a book. Their older brother, Joshua Harris wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye at 21.

So, what is this book about? Essentially, it is a challenge to teenagers to take up the mantle of leadership (of young adulthood) while they are still teenagers. On page 4 in their own words:

"What you're holding in your hands right now is a challenging book for teens by teens who believe our generation is ready for a change. Ready for something that doesn't promise a whole new life if you'll just buy the right pair of jeans or use the right kind of deoderant. We believe our generation is ready to rethink what teens are capable of doing and becoming. And we've noticed that once wrong ideas are debunked and cleared away, our generation is quick to choose a better way, even if it's also more difficult."

And that is what they indeed do- debunk the wrong ideas about teens and build their case for a Biblical view of young adulthood with plenty of examples sprinkled throughout.

They start out by giving us the background to their philosophy (called the Rebelution) and how they came up with the idea of writing a book. The only thing noteworthy here is the connection it has with their family. Take note dads- they didn't start doing hard things on their own, their dad took the initiative by challenging them to do things outside their comfort zone.

By far, the most intriguing chapter for me was chapter 3- titled "the myth of adolescence". I have heard other youth pastors, like steve wright, and family counselors talk about this before, but it was the Harris bros that really fanned the flame in me to find out more. This chapter is the "debunking wrong ideas" part of the book. In essence, it says that for the past 70 years or so (but not longer than that) Western culture has bought into the idea that the age of adolescence (from 11 to 17 years of age) is a special sub-category of human psychological development. But, with it, we've bought into some assumptions that are not Biblical and can be easily debunked by making wise lifestyle choices.

The Harris' bros. brief analysis of the myth of adoloscence serves their intentions well. They note that before the 20th century, maturity was only divided up into two parts- childhood and adulthood. The third division, adolescence, has only served to give teenagers a seven year long vacation from responsibilities. Instead of challenging our teens to take on the mantle of adulthood by strengthening them in all the areas of life that need to be strengthened in order to meet the demands of adulthood, we have coddled them, treating them like children for as long as possible.

The assumptions that our society has bought into when it comes to adolescence are diverse and tied to 19th and 20th century social history. For a full treatment of the subject read The Case Against Adolescence by Dr. Robert Epstein or for a resourceful website on the subject, see youth pastor Sean Higgin's blog (just google him).

As for the rest of the book, the highlight comes in Part Two when they explain what qualifies as "hard things". I'll list them for your convenience:

1. Things that are outside your comfort zone.

2. Things that go beyond what is expected or required.

3. Things that are too big to accomplish alone.

4. Things that don't earn an immediate payoff.

5. Things that challenge the cultural norm.

They spend a chapter on each one and let me tell you, even though this was a book written for teenagers, it certainly convicted me! It's one thing to say you believe these things and preach them from your armchair pulpit, it's another to put them into practice.

Although I like most of this book, I do feel the need to point out some of the weaknesses (after all, never buy a book based on it's cover).

a. No "Parent" factor. The Harris bros were right in avoiding any advice they may feel tempted to give parents. There is nothing more off-putting to parents than to have someone who has no parental experience try to give them advice. Be that as it may, parents CAN learn from them albeit indirectly. But, I had to look elsewhere to attain resources for parents on this subject matter.

b. Not a lot of life experiences.Somebody once told me, when I told them I was interested in writing, never to put pen to paper until you reach the age of 40. Because you will later regret what you write. I can certainly attest to that notion. Out of the dozens and dozens of seminary papers I wrote, only three of them made onto this blog and it's simply because the others, no matter what grade I got, expose how little I knew back then.

Again, this book is written BY teens FOR teens. But, there were a couple of adults that have read this book and found it uninspiring. But I think that those who found it uninspiring were already highly motivated leaders in their field and were disappointed at the lack of depth in some areas. They also have to keep in mind that this book is for the teen who struggles with being a leader. This is not written to adults who already are leaders. Be that as it may, their youth, as incredible as the accomplishments they have under their belt, reveals a limited range of life experiences in which to draw from.

c. They commit a writer's faux pas. They talk about themselves way too much. In school I was challenged to write my papers and go the whole way through without using the word "I" in reference to myself. The exercise was to help you stretch your research abilities. It is too easy to rely on oneself as an example of the point you're trying to make (which I have done twice now in this blog- but I'm not the one writing a book ). Although they give many examples and testimonies of other teenagers, they tend to talk quite a bit about their blog and that's when the book drags.

d. Not enough gospel. The last chapter is a beautifully written chapter on the gospel and how Jesus did the ultimate hard thing- he took on the sins of the world so that we can have an eternal relationship with Him. However, a truly deep Christian thinker, will find ways to easily saturate anything they say with the gospel. It takes a skilled writer and thinker to do that, something that I know I couldn't do and only a few people I've seen do it. I only bring this up because the tendency is to kind of look at this book as legalistic, which it is not.

All in all, I do highly recommend this book. Even though I spent a lot of time on its weaknesses, I did that because I care about the subject matter. Maybe they'll hurry up and finish their second book that they're writing and address some of these issues.

Right now, I'm developing a devotional for my youth group based on this book. We're in preparation mode for a mission trip we're going on in a couple of months and this book I think will get us into the right frame of mind. I will print this devotional on my blog for public use, once it is written.

www.pastordefalco.wordpress.com

How long has it been since you've read one of those life changing books? The kind that creates a shift in your thinking.

This is your next one.

Do Hard Things is supposed to be a book for teens by teens encouraging teens to rebel against low expectations. Apparently I didn't get the memo. And I needed the kick in my 32 year old pants.

I dog eared so many pages in this book to share with you today that I may as well just go back and read the whole thing. All the folds are obnoxious.

I was especially stung by the chapter addressing people who are used to hanging out in the "above average crowd." Good grades came easily to me. Good genetics help my build and stature (I know for a fact it isn't self control in the jelly bean war that keeps me slender). I am not a standout athlete, but I was generally medal worthy at the 3A high school level. And I got used to being recognized for achieving things I didn't try very hard to achieve. And then these guys have to go and burst my bubble with the idea that just because I may have been "smarter than the average bear" it was still far below my potential (My mentor in college said the same thing. Rats.). They said this:

"God set His standards this high so that we won't make the mistake of aiming low. He made them unreachable so that we would never have an excuse to stop growing."

I'd like to interrupt this post to tell you that the last 30 minutes of my life, while not looking from the outset like a "hard thing," has been one of the more difficult as far as life expectations, and while I'll not expound on it, suffice it to say, I'd like to quit typing and go read a chick book. I don't want to do hard things. I want to sit on my rear and eat ice cream. And I think somebody knows that. But I am going to tell you about this book, anyway.

So, I intend to buy this book for each of my nieces and nephews and one for each of the youth pastors in my church. I'm making my husband read it, and probably both of my sisters. And if that isn't enough, I think YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO.

If you aren't a teen, you still probably know a teen. And unless you are over the age of 60, probably need to read it for yourself anyway (before you pass it on to a teen).

Don't be fooled, this isn't just a teen book. But if you know teens, they really should read it. Okay? O-K.

My Take: For 15 years I've been recommending, talking about, telling any who would listen about an article that directed the course of our parenting as our children entered their youth. The article was called Myth of the Teenager by Dr. Michael Platt and can googled.

Alex and Brett have taken the same message and speak it to TEENS - the very people that NEED to hear the message. They are out to lead a rebelution (rebellion against low expectations of teens). I believe that if this message catches fire in this generation it will change our society. It's that strong and powerful of a message. This book is written in an easy to read style and is filled with concrete illustrations and helfpul advice to motivate teens to Do Hard Things. I'm about 2/3 of the way through this book, but I am confident in recommending it to to you and your teens. In fact, along with a few other books (I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Not Even a Hint, Don't Check Your Brain at the Door, The New Tolerance..), Do Hard Things has become "highly recommended" reading for our teens. We like this one enough to put it on our "list".

The authors begin by leading us to rethink the teen years. They go on to mention 5 kinds of HARD things we should do: things that take us outside of our comfort zone, things that go beyond what's expected or required of us, things that are to big to do alone, things that don't pay off immediately, and hard things that go against the crowd.

Though this message is written by teens and for teens, I found myself encouraged and excited as I read. In fact *I* have been prodded to Do Hard Things. I've been hammered. You and your teens may be as well if you read this book. ::snort::

I feared this book would be boastful or arrogant; honestly it doesn't come across that way. The authors continually give the honor and glory for their fruit back to God - where it belongs. I also feared I wouldn't like the book. I don't like most books written on how to parent teens or written to teens. I LOVED this book. I felt like these young men were saying the same things we've been saying for lo these many years to our teens.

I've worked with teens for forty years, and I've noticed that we expect less from them now than we used to. It's reflected in the way we treat them, the way we talk to them, even the way we teach them. We dumb things down for them and insist that learning must be fun. Alex and Brett refuse to accept that view of their generation. They founded TheRebultion.com, and today the are among the most widely read teen writers on the web.
In Do Hard Things, they urge teens to accept challenges, and resist limitations established by others as to what they can accomplish. The emphasis here is on becoming everything God intended you to be, and it's a great book for teens. Recommended.

There are so many "self-help" books out there, many of which are directed towards teens, though not many of those actually speak to teens on their level. Do Hard Things, the new book by nineteen year old twin brothers Alex and Brett Harris, takes the idea of low expectations in teens and explains, in a teenager's language, how to rebel against that concept.

The boys call it a "rebelution," combining a rebellion against low expectations by growing numbers of teenagers, in short, a new revolution for a different generation. Using scripture, real-life stories, and God's teachings, the boys lay out five powerful ways in which teens can rebel against the expectations set for them and prove themselves to be so much more. The reader gets a great look into real "rebelutions" going on all over the world and the teens that are leading them.

The books evoked excitement and motivation within me and I'm not even a teenager! I wanted to get out of my chair and start doing something, anything really, after reading the words these boys wrote and I really believe that the teens that read this book will have the same sort of reaction. The message is powerful and intense, though completely necessary in today's society. Teens really need someone on their own level to tell them how to be successful and get out of the rut many find themselves in. Through God, Alex and Brett Harris are that voice.

Leave a comment here by Sunday night, April 20, and I'll pick a winner to receive a copy of this awesome book. Read it yourself and then pass it on to a teen you care about. If you don't win, just click on the book cover above to purchase the book at Amazon.com. Happy reading!