Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You: Second Edition and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Qty:1
  • List Price: $17.95
  • Save: $3.64 (20%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Only 10 left in stock (more on the way).
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Do I Have to Give Up Me t... has been added to your Cart
Condition: Used: Very Good
Comment: Very Good! Eligible for FREE Super Saving Shipping! Fast Amazon shipping plus a hassle free return policy mean your satisfaction is guaranteed! Tracking number provided in your Amazon account with every order. A well-cared-for item that has seen limited use but remains in great condition. The item is complete, unmarked, and undamaged, but may show some limited signs of wear
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You: Second Edition Paperback – February 15, 2002


See all 10 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$14.31
$3.10 $1.26

Soul Shifts
There are pivotal moments in the lives of all seekers when we realize that we’ve been traveling on our path of growth toward happiness and ful­fillment, but, simply put, we want to go faster.
$14.31 FREE Shipping on orders over $35. Only 10 left in stock (more on the way). Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Frequently Bought Together

Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You: Second Edition + Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You Workbook: Workbook - Second Edition + Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child
Price for all three: $42.36

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Review

"(They) have written something very wonderful that speaks to everyone. I enjoyed it immensely and learned a great deal." ALI MACGRAW

"A raritysimple, profound, and full of hope!" DAVID VISCOTT, M.D., "Risking" and "The Language of Feelings" -- Endorsement

"A Book which makes all other texts about relationships finally understandable." EDDIE SCHWARTZ -- Skyway News, Minneapolis

"I have read and enjoyed your very valuable book. It is a real gift to those in relationship" TEV. TERRY COLE-WHITTAKER, author of "What You Think of Me Is None of My Business" -- Endorsement

"The most important, useful and powerful book I have read on couple therapy since Virginia Satirs Conjoint Family Therapyone of the rare books that is both useful to the lay audience and indispensable for the clinician." DENNIS JAFFE, PH.D., author of "Healing From Within" -- Endorsement

"fascinating material for readers to test in their own lives." RUCH C. IKERMAN, Los Angeles Times -- Los Angeles Times --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Dr. Jordan Paul is a fulfillment coach, psychotherapist, college professor, author, business consultant, and motivational speaker. Dr. Paul has co-authored four books, including the national best seller Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? In addition, he is a contributing author to Community Building: Renewing Spirit & Learning in Busyness'. Paul's latest book The Heart of the Matter: Achieving true personal power, illuminates new and practical ideas for bringing fulfillment into all areas of life.Jordan Paul is a nationally known expert in conflict resolution and has created and taught workshops in conflict resolution since 1975.He was President of Effective Communities International, a consulting and training company. In Effective Communities International, Dr. Paul brought together a multi-talented group of highly skilled professionals to develop programs that taught the leadership skills necessary for building effective communities in business, education, religion, and family. The focus of ECI programs was on teaching leaders how to respond to differences with the behaviors that build trust. ECI worked with Community Leadership Programs in various cities throughout the United States, developing programs with Marin Interfaith Council, and Episcopal Churches in Northern California, and consulting with many businesses, including Xerox and 3M.Dr. Paul is a very popular motivational speaker who has spoken to a wide range of organizations from the World Business Academy and the Million Dollar Round Table to professional associations, substance abuse clinics and hospitals, and a wide variety of spiritual and religious groups. Jordan has presented staff and professional training's for many organizations including:DuPont Corporation; California Association of Marriage and Family Counselors; National Association of Social Workers; and Catholic Marriage Encounter. He has appeared on numerous radio and television shows including Donahue, Oprah and Sonya Live as a guest expert, and on the ABC radio network as a talk show host.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D., is the co-creator of Inner Bonding, a transformational six-step spiritual healing process. She is a best-selling author, noted public speaker, workshop leader, chaplain, educator, humanitarian, consultant, and Inner Bonding facilitator. She has been leading groups, teaching classes and workshops, and working with individuals, couples, partnerships and businesses since 1973. Margaret is passionate about evolving and teaching the process of Inner Bonding.Margaret is the co-author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? (over 400,000 copies sold), Free to Love, Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?, Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?…The Workbook, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, and author of Inner Bonding and recently released, Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Her books have been translated into ten languages: German, Italian, Danish, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Dutch and Hungarian. Healing Your Aloneness and The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook are best sellers in Germany.Margaret has three grown children. In her spare time she is an artist.
NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Best Books of the Month
Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; Second Edition edition (February 15, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1568387962
  • ISBN-13: 978-1568387963
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #91,841 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

I am hopeful to get my wife to read this book as it has made a great change in my life.
breeze@mbusa.net
For me this book is one of the most profound and important books I have ever read about relationships and communication.
Jeremy J. Shapiro
The book is very informative and clearly outlines the process for working through recurring inner-conflicts.
Celtic303

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

41 of 42 people found the following review helpful By breeze@mbusa.net on July 25, 1999
Format: Hardcover
I am currently separated and have been for 2 years. I am hopeful to get my wife to read this book as it has made a great change in my life. It has very good exercises to practice with the one you love. I pray that I get the opportunity. We all have fears about our marriage relationship and what will cause its demise. Sometimes it is caused by our inability to convey how we feel about issues in a non attacking or controlling way. It has helped me to admit to myself that sometimes I try to control my situation by controlling my wife's reactions sometimes on purpose other times just by the anger or frustration in certain situations. This book is a good resource to confront our own problems first and then hopefully get together with the woman we love and put our fears to rest and have a meeting of the minds through true openess of our frustrations and fears in a constructive way.
Thanks to the authors.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
39 of 40 people found the following review helpful By Jeremy J. Shapiro on February 6, 2002
Format: Paperback
For me this book is one of the most profound and important books I have ever read about relationships and communication. Although it is written as a book about marital relationships, it has implications for every kind of relationship, and not only intimate or dyadic ones. And, although it is written as a pop psychology book, I think it makes a real contribution to the social-scientific understanding of relationships and communication -- that is, it stands up well as a general model of communication and relationship. I think it is a great book and would be of great value not only to those trying to solve relationship problems but to those wanting to understand the ways in which self and relationship are intertwined in general. It illuminates all of the areas of one's life in which one communicates with others and, as another reader said, can be as valuable for understanding past relationships as for dealing with present ones.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
29 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Kevin on January 28, 2002
Format: Paperback
This book has really come to the rescue in my life. I am 24 and my partner 21. We've been together 8 months and started having conflicts after moving in together about 2 months ago. After a big fight one day, she brought this book home and we agreed to read it together every day.
Since then, there's been a massive change for us. A difficult change too, but so worthwhile. Margie and Jordan are really great people, and they make the book funny, informative and loving, but strong enough to shake you up. It's just so great... learning to learn is difficult, but ultimately incredibly rewarding. 1000 stars!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
20 of 21 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 22, 2000
Format: Hardcover
If you are having conflicts in your relationship, I cannot recommend a better book for helping understand your own reactions to your partner's behavior. This book shed enormous light on my relationship. That relationship ultimately fell apart, but this book helped me to understand why.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
20 of 23 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 3, 1999
Format: Hardcover
Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? by Dr Margaret Paul played a decisive role in the early stages of my relationship with my life partner. The idea of moving beyond "right/wrong" posturing and adopting an attitude of learning allowed us to hear each other in ways we had not been able to hear others who had been important to us in the past.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Markus Youssef on September 24, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book has helped me to put into practice the ideas of:

1) Everything is either an act of love or a call for it (ACIM)
2) All we are ever saying is please or thank you (NVC)

by thinking in terms of:
3) All intentions behind our behaviour is either to protect or to learn.

It makes a convincing case that controlling, pleasing and distancing are methods of protecting oneself from painful feelings of being reminded of being unloved (unseen, unaccepted, unsupported) in the past. As a result, I find myself much less inclined to judge a person, and if I do, I know that I am protecting myself.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 2, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
There are three of you in a marriage. YOU, ME and US. All three need to be happy. This book can get you there. It saved our marriage.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By JF on November 26, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
There are some really good insights in this book, such as the idea that we need to see behind a person's words and actions to the fact that they are just trying to protect themselves for some (valid) reason. Truly knowing our motivations and our partner's motivations, and--before that--showing in a loving, non-hurtful way that we care and want to know how our partner feels, and why, can be very useful, I admit. To be fair, it is a very professional book. I can well imagine some people getting a lot out of it.

That said, I was put off by all the charts near the beginning and then put off again by the cold and professional writing in the book that made me impatient with the frequent repetition of what were obviously important terms often used in the field. The book's very organization was so good that it came to have a formulaic feel.

In addition, some of the illustrative conversations between husbands and wives or SO's also seemed not true-to-life, though I appreciate that they must have been based on actual cases and probably had to be edited for the book. They just flowed too smoothly; and reading some of them, several times I found myself thinking, "Yeah, try saying that to an angry spouse!" I am afraid that I got so much more out of a certain other book about abusive relationships (which some might criticize for not being written in the extremely professional way that this book was) that it spoiled me for this one, and I ended up skipping around in the second half and not finishing it.

I would say that this book is probably useful for professionals and it will no doubt help some people in abusive relationships. The work put into it is impressive, but it lacks the human warmth and immediacy that in themselves have healing power.
Read more ›
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Set up an Amazon Giveaway

Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more
Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You: Second Edition
This item: Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You: Second Edition
Price: $17.95 $14.31
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com