Customer Reviews

Do I Want to Be A Mom? : A Woman's Guide to the Decision of a Lifetime

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Very disappointing, no substance, mostly full of quotes from individuals who are not very illuminating either. If you just want to know that you are in good company with your indecision, this book if fine. If you would like it to provide you with answers (as the title suggests) or assist you with your decision, it's not worth your time or money.

I was looking to read something that would really stimulate my thinking and allow me to think about this topic in a new way, with the hope that I could come to some answers for myself. What I got was a very cursory overview of many potentially relevant aspects of this topic with nothing I could really "sink my teeth into." To give you an idea about how basic the material is, I was able to read the whole thing in one sitting in bed one night before going to sleep. Overall not very useful and I would not buy this book again.

"Do I Want to Be a Mom?" is one of the only books I've ever read that doesn't sugar-coat the role of motherhood. This book points out a lot of things that will most definitely change for women once they become mothers. Topics of discussion include the physical trials of pregnancy, the impact a child can have on a woman's marriage and career, and the realities of what it's like to be responsible for another human life for 18 years. I wouldn't go so far as to say that this book is "anti-motherhood," but it forces you to ask yourself very pointed questions about your lifestyle in order to help you make responsible decisions about your future.

While this book contains a wide range of topics of interest to those considering parenthood, it doesn't cover these topics with very much detail. I would have found it more helpful if the stories of the women interviewed had been longer than a paragraph apiece. Overall, this book is useful in that it brings up many important issues for consideration, but in my opinion, it served only as a "springboard" for further research.

While I understand the other posters claiming this book wasn't substantive enough, I think it's a little ambitious to think a single book might answer such a huge question for anyone. What I loved about this book is that it gave a perspective from multiple women who had faced this decision and allowed me to "ask them for advice" without receiving the judgment I might if I spoke to friends or family.

Hearing other women's stories gave me the tools I needed to further think about my own decision. Sometimes we expect all books to be "self-help" problem solvers. This one makes you think, but it doesn't make your decision for you.

It may be somewhat basic, but this book is about helping you open your mind and it allows you to explore the choice of having a child. I feel it doesn't go into a lot of detail because the author didn't want to pressure the choice in either direction. It makes you look at women differently. Makes you wonder how they made up their mind about becoming a mom or not. I think it helps to talk in person to women about things. And reading this book has made me want to talk more openly about this huge choice.

There's not a lot of depth to this book, but it's good for picking up to read for a few minutes here and there. It's organized into sections, each with a series of questions. The "answer" to each question generally takes two pages and includes a couple of short quotes from women in various situations. There's no background info on the women, and the rest of the text is pretty short. Interesting, but not my first choice of books.

This book simply states the questions I (and likely you, since you're reading this) are already asking yourself. Each page states a question like, "Do I have enough energy for a kid?" and then explains, "You may not, or you may. Kids are tiring." I understand that these questions are meant to give people things to consider, but for me, since I've already been considering them and not coming up with answers on my own, it wasn't a helpful book. I was hoping the book would help me answer these questions, not just write out the questions I'm already asking.

I liked this book because it gets some issues on the table that I think are helpful to look at in the decision whether to become a mother. It also presents a lot of thoughtful and realistic questions and assessments of what being a parent is really like.

I was frustrated that many of these issues were not resolved, however. I was particularly frustrated that one author was preoccupied with "God" and left her daughter to be raised by her father primarily. This seems like a woman with understandable but not fully actualized "Daddy issues" and problems recognizing her own autonomy? It was worrisome that she was an author of a book like this when she seemed to have her own serious problems in the way she and the father of her child were operating.

I think that these are not entirely the fault of the authors, however. The low status of women still in our political economy and, ironically, the fact that many women have dropped out of jobs/careers to be stay-at-home mothers is actually exacerbating many of these problems and may have made it difficult for these women to write a book that resolved these issues? It is still too difficult for many women to develop enough autonomy and concept of self to make clear-headed decisions about this.

I don't think you can make a clear decision about becoming a mother unless you have means for supporting yourself, you have a partner who does as well, and you both are fully engaged in thinking about it as well as both fully understanding what is required of you to be a good parent. We still have too low expectations for men as parents and many women still use motherhood to try to "fix" problems from their own childhood or to seek economic support or security that they are not able to develop for themselves.

Of the 3 books I purchased on this subject, this one was the best. It really helped me think things through, while showing all sides. Excellent and I highly recommend!