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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?: Confessions of a Gay Dad Paperback – June 5, 2012
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"Oh my GOD, I LOVE this book. It’s a hilarious account of Dan’s journey through life, love, Hollywood, and fatherhood. It’s brilliant and SO funny.” –Gwyneth Paltrow, Oscar-winning actress and author of My Father's Daughter
"I read Dan's compelling and 'modern' book in almost one sitting and when my face wasn't in my hands laughing myself silly, I was touched and moved by Dan's ability to stay in his heart." —Jane Lynch
"Okay. I know Dan. We’ve worked together for almost ten years. I’ve never seen him naked. But after reading his book, I feel like I’ve seen him without a stitch, no cover, completely bare. I also saw myself in this as a parent and thought “Oh, I’m not alone with my thoughts.” It’s good not to be all alone with these feelings and as is usual for me, Dan is the perfect company to keep."—Lisa Kudrow
“This book will make you laugh, cry, cringe in sympathy, and delight along with Dan, his husband, and his two adorable kids.” –Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother
"This book is unbelievably heartwarming and hysterically funny. Dan Bucatinsky's stories are beautiful, capturing the ways children challenge and teach their parents about living." --Rosie O'Donnell
“In Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight? Dan Bucatinsky captures the joys, terrors, and absurdities of being a gay parent. But this funny, touching book is for all parents—gay or straight” —Dan Savage, author of The Kid
“Few people make me laugh as much as Dan Bucatinsky, but I was not prepared this time to be crying between the guffaws. This is a book I will return to again and again for its humor, that's a no-brainer, but for its sly wisdom as well.” —Terrence McNally, Tony award-winning playwright.
“Loved how Dan bounced from crazy silly to gut wrenching and heartwarming. His humor was the sugar that made the crystal meth of his life go down. I will be a better parent because he went places and made some mistakes so I don't have to. Adoption is so difficult and just being in a relationship is hard enough, but as he made clear in the book, so frickin’ worth it.” —Tom Arnold
"Once I put my kid to bed, this book made me laugh out loud late into the night. The perils of parenting as told by Dan are hilarious and heartbreaking and utterly recognizable to anyone who has a child. Brilliant." –Shonda Rhimes, creator of Grey’s Anatomy
"I devoured this book. I love Dan's story, his kids and his writing." –Jennifer Garner
"This is a smart, funny, relatable and altogether human book. How are families made? With love, and courage, and laughter, and grace––all abundantly present in this terrific story. I wish Dan Bucatinsky lived next door to me so we could kvell and kvetch together about our beautiful kids and the complexities of modern parenthood." —Dani Shapiro, author of the bestselling memoir Slow Motion
"This book is hilarious, honest, heartfelt. Any parent--any person--gay or straight, will be able to relate to Dan Bucatinsky's captivating story. He's not just a great comedy writer, he's a great writer. With his own unique voice, he shines a light on the joys and challenges of family life. I'd put it in a time capsule... people in the future can read it and know what it was to be alive at the dawn of the 21st Century." —Bill Wrubel, Executive Producer, Modern Family
"If Erma Bombeck and Oscar Wilde wrote a book together, the result would be 'Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight.' Lucky for Dan Bucatinsky, they're both dead." --Josh Kilmer-Purcell, author of I’m Not Myself These Days
“Writing with an inventive, fluid flair, he [Dan Bucatinsky] delivers dramatic surprises replete with clever verbal sparring, finding risible humor in life’s little banalities as well as its emotional peaks.” —Publisher’s Weekly
About the Author
More About the Author
"I was on the set of "Under the Tuscan Sun" where I was working as an actor - when the director, Audrey Wells, was expounding on the joys of "discovering the father" in one's spouse. Call it my own "ah-ha" moment... which turned into an "oh shit" moment when I realized I only had 3 Euro left on my Italian phone card - just enough to scream into a pay phone to Don how I wanted to discover the 'father' in him. And not in the creepy, kinky way.
About a year later, we'd embarked on the harrowing and complicated task of retaining an adoption lawyer and registering with an adoption agency to maximize our chances of meeting a birth mom before either of us could become a member of AARP (Don)... And by the end of 2004, we were matched with a two-pack-a-day, Slurpee-loving teen from Wisconsin. We were expecting our daughter, who was born in March of 2005. Two years later, my father became terminally ill with brain cancer and died in March of 2007. Our son, Jonah, named after my father, was born six months later.
During that time, and since then... I have continued to write about my experience as a new father. But soon my writing expanded into ruminations about all aspects of how my life has been impacted by having kids: as a man in a same-sex marriage, as a son, as a brother... as a man. A man who never thought he'd ever be standing in front of a cherubic five-year-old he'd call his daughter while she told him: "Daddy, smell my fingers."
Check out more about Dan on www.whosay.com/danbucatinsky
Go to www.doesthisbabymakemelookstraight.com
Check out Bucatinsky on Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-bucatinsky
Top Customer Reviews
-Jacqueline Marcell, Author 'Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please! How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents', International Speaker on Eldercare & Alzheimer's
Though the humor is never really "laugh out loud" funny, Bucatinsky is a good writer and his quirky wit shines throughout. I guess that it didn't connect for me after a while because I don't have kids or a life-partner. If that's your situation, then you'll probably appreciate it more, as a way to compare experiences. But for someone just reading it casually, it left a bit more to be desired...
Bucatinsky describes, in deeply personal detail, his truth. And it's a truth that I recognize easily. From concerns that your family's homestudy reads as "too gay," (whatever that means) to your children fighting over which parent they want to drive the car, you hear Bucatinsky's sense of humor about the absurdity of life. When he describes meeting parents who want a token gay friend, I laughed and pointed the passage out to my husband. "We've been right there, too!" I said.
There are some missteps in the book. Bucatinsky describes his parents' concern that being fat is a terrible thing, and he seems to understand the negative impact that had on him. But he's so concerned that his daughter will think it's ok to be fat that he hedges on telling her not to call another child fat. (As if any kid in America is lacking for messages about body image!) And when he describes being manipulated and lied to in a horrific way, the worst thing he can find say about the perpetrator is that she was fat. These moments stand out because Bucatinsky is otherwise incredibly self-aware.
Usually, though, the book is warm, funny, and perceptive. I stayed up later than I intended to reading it, and my sons made sure that I didn't catch up on that lost sleep in the morning.
I always pick up these gay-dad memoirs when I hear of them, because they are always rewarding. The level of reward depends entirely on the skill of the writer, and Bucatinsky is an especially gifted comic writer. This is no surprise, given that he's an actor and writer and has actually been in real movies. (He's also adorable, and from what I've found, his partner Don Roos is handsome.) But there is something particularly gratifying about reading this book because of the passion that Bucatinsky puts into his story-telling. Inside many of the laugh-out-loud stories of the couple's misadventures in parenting are sharp, painful little darts of truth; truth that brings you up short and makes you gasp a little. Sometimes makes you cry.
There was not a page in this book that didn't resonate for me, for the choices my partner and I made as we sought to become parents in a world where gay dads are still far from the rule. It is hard to describe the pleasure, indeed the joy, it is to read a story that reflects our own; to have the affirmation that what we have done was indeed the right thing, for us and for the children who became ours.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Well written , intelligent and also funny. I was sad it ended. Keep writing Dan, you have a gift. You must have more material by now ! Great read.Published 6 months ago by Book addict
Hilarious. I was like crying laughing reading this book. Dan Bucatinsky is SO funny.Published 8 months ago by Alex
loved it. cute cute cute, very well written.,passed on to adult daughter who loved it as wellPublished 14 months ago by narli
As a gay man, I bought this as soon as I saw it and was very entertained by this book and Dan's sense of humor. It kept me very occupied.Published 14 months ago by Bradley Hoehn
Some of the most moving commentary on parenthood I've ever read - and hilarious in the process. Dan and Don's kids are extremely fortunate.Published 15 months ago by Heather Langan
This book was in perfect condition and I absolutely love it, It made me laugh, cry and cringe.Published 15 months ago by elena caicedo
i loved this story that dan and his husband don shared..i have been a huge fan of dan thru tv and his movie "all over the guy".. gay or straight.. Read morePublished 18 months ago by Jan M. Jordan
A guide for anyone embarking the road to adoption whether you are gay or straight.Published 18 months ago by S. Gillingham