In this unabashed celebration of traditional moral sensitivity as the path to healthy relationships and true intimacy, Manis Friedman challenges the modern illusions of sexual freedom. He offers a vigorous, God-centered alternative to the moral chaos of modern society in which nothing seems sacred anymore.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
40 of 41 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
While comparisons to Return to Modesty and Kosher Sex are expected, this book differs in several ways. First, Manis Friedman never had a doubt that a modest lifestyle is better for someone's mental and spiritual health and second, he's not just talking about sex. The third difference is that he's not so much talking about a broad sweeping movement as much as a method of helping individuals get their lives on track.
Manis Friedman is one of the celebrities of the Lubavitcher movement and his writing and lectures exemplify why the Lubavitch movement is one of the most successful in reaching out to Jews unimpressed with observance. The operating procedure seems to imply "you think it's all going to be too hard for you? It doesn't fit your personality? Well, let's start small and see what you do feel comfortable with".
In this book Manis Friedman doesn't talk about the sexual mores at first. He knows that people see them as hopelessly outdated and Victorian. Instead he talks about modesty as an all encompassing part of the relationship. In his sermons, he helps to sensitize the reader to avoid little things that couples do all the time like arguing in public, making snide remarks when their partner argues with the clerk at the grocery store, etc. Through these stories and examples he gives a very intriguing and real picture of what a marriage could be and how it can be still romantic and fresh forever instead of for the first decade.
By the time he starts talking about the sexual rules of modesty, you are with him. You want the kind of relationship that he describes and if that means you wait until you get married to even touch a woman, so be it. And since this is Judaism, not Catholicism, there is no condemnation of sexuality. It's all about refinining sexuality and making it better than it could ever be in the so-called "swinging single" scene. When Manis Friedman describes a young man who isn't interested in dating or getting married just yet, he even hints at the popular "repressed guy just waiting to release all that pent up energy" fantasy with apparent approval. And just in case, you think that Friedman's ideas based on Halackic Jewish law are terribly repressive and limiting in sexuality, the guy's got 14 kids. He must be doing something right.
Read it. You might not agree with it. You might disagree with 90% of what's in this book, but that 10% that you agree with will make you think and make you feel and help you make healthier decisions in your life.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Years ago I heard Paul Harvey say that every American should go out and buy this book. I ignored him. Recently, while staying with a friend, I began reading her copy and couldn't put it down. I am now buying myself a copy.
What seems to be a passe perspective on life turns out to be brilliant and understanding. Manis Friedman has a remarkable grasp on the "places" inside us that we try to ignore. His advice for living and loving is unusually sound and his gentle delivery is among the finest.
I can't wait to see Manis' next book.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Reading Thomas Cahill's 'the Gifts of the Jews' got me reading some texts of Judaic wisdom recently, including this one, although this is not primarily a theological work. Friedman, a Rabbi in the Orthodox Lubavitch movement of Judaism has written this book for the general audience. This book offers much to the general reader. Friedman's gentle wit and wisdom seem to come from distant and deep understandings of the human condition. His instruction is both practical and attainable. It is presented in a down to earth, contemporary and often very humorous way. Although some of the advice might be specific to Judaism (illuminating in itself), much or most of it is universal. It provides and understanding of responsibility and attitude in marriage, life and devotion. A great guide for the perplexed of any faiths.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore? Really???
One of the BEST books on Modesty, Male/ Female Relationships and Marriage ever written! Hands down!!! It's straight forward, direct, to the point and very very true. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Christian Ratnam
5.0 out of 5 stars
PRISTINE
The book was in perfect shape! Exactly like new. The seller wrapped it securely and sent it right away. I was very happy with the book and the service.
Published on May 20, 2009 by Savvy Shopper
4.0 out of 5 stars
Discover where the magic of relationships lies
Do you feel that marriage should be one of the most wonderful things in life? Do you feel sad about the divorce rating? Read more
Published on January 22, 2005 by B. C. Diez
5.0 out of 5 stars
The best book I have ever read on this topic.
I recommend this book to all my friends and am actually buying it now for a friend who recently became engaged.
Published on June 21, 1999
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very, very good book.
I did not agree with everything Manis writes, but his message is so very true. I hope this book start a trend! Read more
Published on May 26, 1999
5.0 out of 5 stars
Uniquely helpful and essential.
If I could give 6 stars, I would. This book is one of the best I've read in years, and is completely essential for anyone who wants to experience true intimacy.
Published on January 11, 1999 by David Barak (davidbarak@usa.net)
5.0 out of 5 stars
A breath of fresh air! A must for anyone in any relationship
A small and very readable book, it helped me put my life back together after a "low" in my marriage. I wish I had read it before I got married. Read more
Published on November 23, 1998
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