Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart [Paperback]

John Ensor (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 4, 2007

There is a radical, biblical alternative to much of what istaught and practiced today regarding relationships. Doing ThingsRight in Matters of the Heart presents a bold plan for escaping theswift currents of contemporary patterns of hooking up, shacking up,and breaking up. It draws a compelling vision of complementaritybetween the sexes. It instructs men on what to do and informs womenon what to look for in their mutual pursuit of a healthy, tender,long-term relationship.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart defines and describes biblical masculinity and femininity for single adults. I would also encourage those who are married to read it. John Ensor is a creative and theologically astute writer. I have thanked him for writing this book and you will too."
C. J. Mahaney
Sovereign Grace Ministries

"John Ensor provides a radically biblical alternative to the supposed wisdom of our age. Though sometimes raw, frank, and frustrated, Ensor is always sanctified and often poetic. He celebrates differences, bringing into clear focus the oft-disputed fact that God created men and women to be equal and symmetrical but not identical. For all who are weary of our culture's assault on biblical manhood and womanhood, this book is a refreshing reminder of the Bible's simple wisdom governing love, relationships, marriage, and matters of the heart."
Tim Challies
Christian blogger (Challies.com); editor, Discerning Reader

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Review

"Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart defines and describes biblical masculinity and femininity for single adults. I would also encourage those who are married to read it. John Ensor is a creative and theologically astute writer. I have thanked him for writing this book and you will too."
—C. J. Mahaney, Sovereign Grace Ministries

"John Ensor provides a radically biblical alternative to the supposed wisdom of our age. Though sometimes raw, frank, and frustrated, Ensor is always sanctified and often poetic. He celebrates differences, bringing into clear focus the oft-disputed fact that God created men and women to be equal and symmetrical but not identical. For all who are weary of our culture's assault on biblical manhood and womanhood, this book is a refreshing reminder of the Bible's simple wisdom governing love, relationships, marriage, and matters of the heart."
—Tim Challies, Christian Blogger Challies.com; Editor, Discerning Reader; Author The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Crossway Books (April 4, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1581348428
• ISBN-13: 978-1581348422
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #151,170 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

John Ensor is Director of Urban Initiatives for Heartbeat International, an organization for Christian communities establishing pregnancy help centers worldwide. He is currently working with Christian leaders to open five pregnancy help centers in the neediest neighborhoods of Miami, Florida. He has also served as President of A Woman's Concern. John and his wife, Kristen, have three grown children and reside near Boston, Massachusetts.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Biblical Alternative, June 13, 2007

By 

Tim Challies (Oakville, Ontario) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart (Paperback)

We live at a time when relationships are increasingly marked by the awful dictum of meet up, hook up, shack up, and break up. This describes too many relationships, too many hardened hearts and too many ruined lives. But as John Ensor says and as observation bears out, this pattern "bankrupts the rich treasure trove of love itself." It does not work and it is time for young people to revolt against the times.

The antidote to the times is to rediscover the biblical formula for manhood and womanhood, to turn back to the Creator and to his manual to discover how He desires we live as men and women. In Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart Ensor does just this, sharing what he has learned about biblical manhood and womanhood. The book's objective is "to provide a winsomely radical alternative to the prevailing ideas, almost absolute doctrines, that guide our current thinking about manhood and womanhood and define our actions and expectations when pursuing matters of the heart." The book's purpose (and I'm not sure how a purpose differs from an objective) "is to provide you stone with which you can fashion a strong, enduring, and satisfying plan for doing things right in this most tender and precious matter of the heart."

In the first part, "Matters of the Heart," Ensor defines biblical masculinity and femininity as they are presented to us in the Bible. He gets to the heart of manhood and womanhood asking what it means to be a man or a woman and what is distinctive about being one and not the other. He asks how men and women complement each other and fit together. Having answered these questions, he turns to "Doing Things Right," showing the way the Bible outlines how men are to live as men and women are to live as women. He shows how men and women are to relate to each other and are to interact with each other on the basis of their equality and symmetry but also on the basis of their differences.

The chapter titles tell the story.

* He Initiaties...She Responds"
* He Leads...She Guides
* He Works...She Waits
* He Protects...She Welcomes Protection
* He Abstains to Protect...She, to Test
* His Unmet Desire Drives Him toward Marriage...Hers Is Rewarded with Marriage
* He Displays Integrity...She, Inner Beauty
* He Loves by Sacrificing...She, by Submitting
* He Seeks His Happiness in Hers...She Seeks Hers in His
* His Is the Primary Provider for the Family...She, the Primary Nurturer

The book is written from a personal perspective and in such a way that he encourages the reader to benefit from his learning curve. While he leans on the Bible as his authority, what he teaches is often punctuated by words like, "What follows is what I honest think is the right thing to do..." and "I take this to mean..." He gives examples from his life, allowing the reader to learn and to laugh with him.

The sum is this: God has given us each gifts but, with our own reasoning and assumptions we've wasted them by doing things in the way we thought was best. This book is a call to go back to using those gifts, to go back to the guide that teaches us how to use those gifts, that we might do things right and do them in the way God intends.

In this book (and this quote is the blurb I provided for the book's cover) "John Ensor provides a radically biblical alternative to the supposed wisdom of our age. Though sometimes raw, frank, and frustrated, Ensor is always sanctified and often poetic. He celebrates differences, bringing into clear focus the oft-disputed fact that God created men and women to be equal and symmetrical but not identical. For all who are weary of our culture's assault on biblical manhood and womanhood, this book is a refreshing reminder of the Bible's simple wisdom governing love, relationships, marriage, and matters of the heart."

This is a good and important little book that serves as a strong introduction for teens and young adults to the Bible's teaching on manhood and womanhood. What is taught here can largely be found elsewhere but not in so accessible and so practical a form. It has the paternal feel of an older, wiser man writing a concerned letter to those who are younger and in need of counsel. Ensor's advice is good and those who heed it will be pleased that he wrote this book and that they took the time to read it. I recommend this book to teens, to young adults, to parents and to anyone who is concerned with doing things right in matters of the heart.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful, July 15, 2007

By 

wordweaver - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart (Paperback)

John Ensor really knows what he's talking about. He's practical and down-to-earth, and he's actually one of the first authors who convinced me that Biblical submission doesn't have to be a frightening prospect. I highly recommend this book.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow, wow, wow....just....WOW!, June 24, 2007

By 

Ofelia De Jesus Bacaro "Mami2three" (Miami, FL) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart (Paperback)

I have read many, many books on the subject of courtship/relationships from a Christian perspective...I've read a lot of books about marriage and the biblical way of carrying out a marriage relationship...I have been to courship/relationship and marriage retreats and seminars...this is by far the BEST book I've read on the subject! Ladies and gentlemen, if you truly want to do things right in matters of the heart, please, please read this book and pass it on to others. God bless you John Ensor for bringing these truths to light!