Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know [Paperback]

Al Miles (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2000

Domestic violence is as ancient as the family unit itself. And according to the American Medical Association, one quarter of American women will be abused by an intimate partner at some point in their lives. Ministers can help care for these victims. Loving and sensitive support can make a tremendous difference to survivors as they struggle with the long and difficult process of healing and regaining trust in themselves and others. Often, however, pastoral caregivers possess the same misconceptions about domestic violence as does the uninformed public. Miles addresses the issues related to inadequate pastoral response to this pervasive problem. He explores the dynamics of abusive relationships and the role which clergy members can take to heal this painful situation.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"No woman should be forced to choose between the safety of a shelter and the support of her church when she experiences domestic terror. She needs and deserves both. This is our job as Christian leaders: to ensure that she is safe and supported and has the resources to protect herself and her children. We need to assure her that God and the Bible are with her in her hour of need. Jesus unequivocally calls us to be the Good Samaritan to the battered woman and her children. In this book, Rev. Al Miles shows us the way." --Marie M. Fortune, Founder and Senior Analyst, Faith Trust Institute, Seattle, Washington --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

About the Author

Rev. Al Miles has served as hospital chaplain in a number of medical centers throughout the United States since 1981 and now coordinates the hospital ministry at The Queen's Medical Center in Hawaii. He is the author of articles on domestic abuse and has counseled victims and perpetrators for eighteen years.

Product Details

• Paperback: 212 pages
• Publisher: FORTRESS PRESS (January 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0800631757
• ISBN-13: 978-0800631758
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #429,286 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Clergy, Join the Committed Against Domestic Violence, February 22, 2002

By 

Sheldon H. Clark (Richmond, Indiana United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know (Paperback)

"Equip the saints for ministry" (Ephesians 4:12) is the scriptural key to Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know, by the Reverend Al Miles. `The saints,' in this case are clergy. As an aside, just so that no one feels too sanctimonious about the `saint' appellation, Rev. Miles also included clergy as some of the perpetrators of domestic violence: "Perpetrators of domestic violence are everywhere; some even worship in and lead our churches" (127). Miles intention, however, was not to assign blame, but to elicit support from clergy in recognizing, dealing with (confession, repentance, forgiveness), and helping in the care of all victims of domestic abuse: perpetrators, target victims, and the peripherally affected. Clergy, by definition, should be part of the care-giving team composed of medical personnel, psychologists, and social workers, which respond to the complex consequences to domestic violence.
Miles suggested eight bullet points to direct clergy on how to become helpful in changing incidents of domestic violence into circumstances promoting domestic tranquility: (1) "Seek training; (2) Know your limits; (3) Avoid bringing the abuser together with the victim to `get at the truth'; (4) Be realistic; (5) Put the victim's safety first; (6) Hold him accountable; (7) Redirect his Scripture reading; and, (8) Hold out hope" (124-126). Miles pointed out an important truth: "Perpetrators of domestic violence can change, but few can do so without long-term commitment to work on their issues. Clergy and other pastoral ministers can assist abusers in this difficult but necessary process. Ministers must also be willing to work closely with professionals from a variety of other disciplines" (127-128). The professional key to dealing with domestic violence is work as a member of a professional team with the understanding of the need for long-term commitment!
Myth busting is part of the work of the clergy according to Miles. Where domestic violence is concerned the more obvious myths are: "#1 There are no abused women in my congregation; #2 Christian survivors need only faith, prayer, a positive attitude, and God to be freed from domestic violence; #3 Domestic violence occurs only in certain cultural, racial, and socioeconomic groups, and only in urban areas; #4 Victims can stop the battering by changing their behavior. This will save their marriages and families" (50-69). Statistics, case studies, sociological surveys, and psychological profiles put the lie to those myths.
The problem according to Miles is that clergy suffer from "denial" (166), "a sense of fear and helplessness" (169), "lack of appropriate training" (172), and "sexism" (174). By acknowledging these problems, by acquiring further specific education, and by working in conjunction with other appropriate professionals, clergy certainly would help rectify the current deplorable situation.
Domestic violence is not going to disappear on its own accord (185). The real issues of power and control, true authority, assignment of blaming, historic patterns of abuse/victimization, and personal duplicity need to be identified, broken down into manageable segments, and resolved for the domestic welfare and benefit of everyone concerned.
Rev. Miles presented compelling evidence, fascinating case histories, and thoughtful reflective questions in each of the six chapters to sustain interest and to invite the reader to acknowledge the wisdom of his approach in proposing solutions.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource For Pastors, June 9, 2000

By 

Patricia R. Gaddis (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know (Paperback)

This book is a wonderful resource for Pastors! When I wrote "Battered But Not Broken: Help For Abused Wives And Their Church Families" in 1996 (see my booklisting on Amazon.com) I was very concerned about the lack of appropriate information available for the Church. Little by little, more books have been written on the topic of domestic violence within the Faith community. Everyone who works with victims of domestic violence within a Church setting should read this book! Patricia Riddle Gaddis [e-mail] Author: Dangerous Dating (Waterbrook Press, 2000) and "Battered But Not Broken: Help For Abused Wives and Their Church Families" Judson Press, 1996

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A helpful look at Domestic Violence, February 4, 2002

By 

Randal R. Huber (York Springs, PA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know (Paperback)

Al Miles speaks powerfully and plainly to pastors about the important problem of domestic violence. Writing in an easily readable style, Miles asks why relatively few Christian pastors are effectively involved in the care of abused women and children. Many pastors are misinformed about the real issues and the best means of treatment. Miles suggests that pastors sometimes excuse abusive men while blaming their victims for their supposed roles in the abuse. He also suggests that the misapplication of certain biblical passages may predispose some pastors to this error. He debunks four key myths. "Myth #1:There are no abused women in my congregation" (2000:50). "Myth #2: Christian survivors need only faith, prayer, a positive attitude, and God to be freed from domestic violence" (2000:58). "Myth #3: Domestic violence occurs only in certain cultural, racial, and socioeconomic groups, and only in urban areas" (2000:60). "Myth #4: Victims can stop the battering by changing their behavior. This will save their marriages and families" (2000:67). Miles tells the stories of selected abuse victims. This stories clearly illustrate some of the challenges facing pastors as they seek to minister effectively to domestic violence victims. Utilizing his clinical expertise and research Miles addresses questions such as can abusers change and what is a proper understanding of forgiveness in the abusive context. Miles shares practical wisdom to aid pastors in properly handling domestic abuse. In Appendix B he includes a list of state coalitions to aid the pastor in ministering in domestic violence situations. Al Miles has done a credible job in this book. I recommend it.