Customer Reviews

Domestic Violence: The 12 Things You Aren't Supposed to Know

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Books such as this, that reveal the true nature of domestic violence as a two-sex phenomenon, in terms of both batterers and victims, are helpful to anyone who wants to stop domestic violence. The reason is, we now know that the only societies who have had success in reducing domestic violence against either sex are those that sought to reduce it against both sexes. That is because domestic violence is a learned behavior, and a boy (or a girl) can learn violence just as easily by watching Mom assault Dad as the reverse.

I have seen much of the research cited in this book for myself, and I can report that the conclusions the author makes, about the two-sex nature of domestic violence, are well documented.

This has so much critical information about domestic violence. It has the facts and figures necessary to argue for improving current attitudes regarding domestic violence. People need to be armed with the facts and figures if they hope to do anything to help alleviate the suffering of abuse victims. This book provides those facts and figures and also provides well documented citations and references. It is easy to read and understand, and no "fact" has been provided without plenty of evidence to back it up.

Tom James book, Domestic Violence: The Twelve Things You Aren't Supposed to Know, is an accurate and scholarly work that is long overdue. This book is a breath of fresh air after years of incompetent, ideologically driven, advocacy research by gender feminists who want to deny the cold, hard, documented facts about domestic violence.

For too long America has been presented only a biased view of domestic violence, based on bigoted perceptions of gender roles, rather than documented facts and truth. Such misandrist propaganda and gender feminist myths have created the monstrous domestic violence industry we know today. Such misandrist propaganda has promoted the gender feminist/women's studies agenda that loudly says, "Men are not allowed to be victims of domestic violence." Such misandrist propaganda harms us all.

Tom James is an American hero for presenting abundant scholarly documentation that solidly tells the truth about domestic violence. James honestly shows the degree to which men are not only victims of domestic violence; he also illuminates how all men are disserved by America's corrupt domestic violence industry.

Tom James abundantly backs up his proof with supporting documentation and footnotes. Contrast Tom James's solid research against the call for ignorance and more prejudice, towards male victims of domestic violence, that many in today's domestic violence industry are want to do.

Any sane, rational person reading this book will not only see the "hate war" that is being waged against America's men by the gender feminist ideologues in America's domestic violence industry, he/she will also see the underlying, obdurate pathology that makes those propagandist so totally unfit to handle the truth about domestic violence.

Or she would recognize the documentation contained therein which proves the assertions.

Men are battered to the tune of 30 - 40 percent of victims and murdered at a fair clip as well, yet 100% of the 5 billion dollars in funding in this country is for women. Not to mention the Duluth Model which forces police departments to persecute and arrest male victims of domestic violence as opposed to their battering spouses.

It's time male victims were not only recognized but had some help and options available to them; if not it is at least time the sexist, man-hating laws which discriminate CLEARLY against men were rescinded and sent back into the dark ages where they belong.

The theory that all women are victims simply ignores reality, and promotes gender prejudice. Trading one form of bigotry for a different flavored biogtry still leaves us with bigotry.
Certainly many women are victims, but there are also male victims out there who should not be dismissed and relegated to the shadows. If we are to achieve true equality then speaking truth to power, like this book does, is necessary in this age of politically correct male bashing.

I work in a domestic violence program. I got interested in this work not only because I was a victim of psychological abuse in a previous relationship, but mostly because my husband was a victim of not only emotional and psychological abuse, but also physical abuse. His ex-wife would knock him unconscious with metal bars and ran him over with her car. She would hit him and scratch him whenever she could. Thankfully he only has some small scars and minimal mental impairment from his experiences with her. The thing I have found with him and other male victims I have met in the course of my work is that they almost never report. I don't know if it is a sense of shame or fear, all I know is that female towards male abuse does happen, but you rarely hear anything about it. Are more physical abusers men? Yes. Does this mean that women don't physically abuse? No.

The courts prosecute physical abuse, but what about emotional and psychological abuse? The victims (mostly female) I work with tell me that when their abusers beat them, it hurt, but the deepest scars they have and those they don't know if they will survive are the emotional and psychological scars. How many couples have you seen where all you hear is the woman criticizing and putting down her partner? She may not be hitting him physically, but how do you think he feels? How is his psyche affected? He is even less likely to report that or to leave. Even if he did try to report or tell someone, wouldn't most people just make fun of him? Male victims are mostly stuck. I try to help them when I find them, but most of them are too embarrassed or afraid to accept my or anyone else's assistance.

I do want to address the tone that some of the men have used in their comments. It is true that there are male victims and many, but we can't forget the thousands and probably millions of female victims out there. They suffer greatly and they still need all the help we can give them. We need to includes services for abused men, but not at the expense of our services for women.

For those of us, that have always suspected the system of stacking the deck against men, with false statistics and myths.
This book is a welcome breath of fresh air. Feminist censorship and myth building is finally weakening. Like Abe Lincoln said: "You can fool some of the people all the time, all of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time"
Great reading.

Finally, someone has the courage to write the truth about DV. Highly recommended, just get it and read it. No one will be able to b-s you again on this topic.

A book of this type has been lacking for a long, long time!
Written by a MAN!
This is a newer book that looks at domestic violence from both the male perspective and the female perspective!
The law enforcement community should be required to read this book in its entirety. Most of the books being today used are way out of date.
An excellent read for anyone that deals with domestic violence.
It's a good read for people that aren't involved in domestic violence, as it possibly could open their eyes to their friends, neighbors, and relatives difficulties.

To the female who gives this book one star because she has been touched by domestic violence, I say, your emotional response is the need to understand the blatant sexism of the DV industry. Just because your gender is female, and you were affected/effected by DV, does NOT mean DV is limited in all cases to a man commits offence against woman. That may well have been the reality in your situation, but does not by default solve the deeper issue, which is a failure of the male/female dynamic across millions of people to resolve relationship dynamics issues without resorting to socially undesirable behavior. This is the type of emotively driven response to a situation which creates the base upon which propaganda is allowed to grow. Ever study the rise of Adolf Hitler? Hitler needed the frustrations of the German populace, and its search for easy answers and scapegoats, for his propaganda to root, and for his power and unquestioned leadership to grow to where he could accomplish his truly nefarious agendas. If I sound paranoid, good, I hope to shout if from the rooftops of the world, what is happening in the West at this point in time smacks of Sexual Fascism.

VAWA, VAWA II, IMBRA, and the host of swept-in legislation are nothing more than built upon a false propaganda that women are always victims and "passive recipients" (remember this type of concept from Freidan? and her anger over it? Even Betty Freidan once made a remark regarding DV between her and her husband that she was "no wallflower," although revisionists of her writings gloss over this, and continue to position her as a passive victim of abuse) of domestic violence, and men are completely responsible for the discord in a family home (how utterly patriachal! But if you think about it, THIS IS WHAT THIS legislation paradoxically presupposes. Welcome to the underlying contradictions in more radical feminism. Equality and power up until something goes wrong, then the man is presumed at fault, and the woman is a victim and entitled to compensation. What an INSULT to the individual strength and spirit of truly deserving individuals, REGARDLESS of gender. Both for the women who do deserve and earn their place in society on virtue of merit and contribution, not the false cards of victimization and entitlement, and also for men who are affected by such subterfuge).

It should have been the Domestic Violence Act. Not Violence Against Women Act. Then a public discourse over proactive, preventative measures could have been made, and the act would have actually been constitutional, and real scientific inquiry could be made into PROACTIVE and PREVENTATIVE ways to resolve situations which lead to unhealthy and undesired human interaction. REACTIVITY and the simple solution of determining a presumption of Abuser/Victim based upon gender and mandatory punishment and labelling is not helping to promote successful gender-rooted relationships, or family structures, or healthy homes for children.

The numbers in more scientific studies are clear. DV is a 60/40 matter when it involves physical confrontation. Why does Senator Biden's babies assume its 100%/0%? Pandering for votes, folks, and national publicity to make a bigger run one day. I would quit my job to campaign against this delusional man's condescending bone-toss to the feminist cause. The DV industry expands the definition of DV to insults and loud arguments. If that's true, I think the numbers are at best neck and neck. Women are more likely to abuse the children in the house than the male. Yes, I hear the argument women generally spend more time with children than the men. True, in the general population. Women are not by gender alone the protector of the family unit--2 out of 3 divorces are initiated by women. And regardless of deeper moral issues of abortion, 1 in 3 women in the U.S. will abort during their lifetime, leading to the question of why such a need for abortion, at least a couple of magnitudes higher than what the scientific evidence would suggest for responsible birth control usage. We need better, more responsible, more proactive answers, not only for the majority gender of our population and voting caucus (females, in case you don't know), but for society as a whole.

The idea that gender alone, namely being born female, assumes an individual a stronger position of emotional and moral superiority is smug and presumptuous. Is this the matriachal counter to the spectre of patriachal society I hear so much about? Physiologically, we are obviously different. This is science. This is nature. Nature clearly requires women to be the biological early nurturers of human life. This is an incredible responsibility if/when realized, and there is nothing EQUAL between the genders in that matter, in the issue of human sexual procreation purpose. Is that so hard to state in these matters? Perhaps these differences should be more deeply explored. The attraction of the sexes occurs at a deeper level than cognitive thought. Society needs to go deeper, and build a stronger foundation, otherwise, no matter how beautiful the building, it ends up being a leaning tower of Pisa.

The issue is not equality. Levels of influence, levels of affluence, in terms of society, should always be earned by an individual's value of contribution to society. The issue is EQUALITY OF OPPORTUNITY! I'm no utopian thinker, I realize in practice how the amoral nature of power must always be balanced against the welfare of society as a whole. Mancur Olsen's writings on the economic nature of feudalism evolving into capitalism come into play. The second wave of feminism's attraction to Marxist throught, whether outright or thinly veiled, is not effective or efficient in practice.

Books like this are essential for undoing a big web of lies and unsuported propaganda which in practice has the potential of doing much more harm than good to the fabric of our society.