Customer Reviews

Don't Ask

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Westlake's continuing character, hapless thief John Archibald Dortmunder, suffers his penultimate humiliation in this novel, and gets his most satisfying revenge. Dortmunder's jobs always go wrong, and this time he is actually kidnapped and held prisoner by the people he tried to rob. Dortmunder escapes, and grimly pursues the most hilarious vengeance ever conceived by an author. This is Westlake at his best. Consistently funny, cynical, sharp and breathtakingly well-written. If you have never read a Dortmunder novel, start with this one. If you're an old fan, this is the one to come back with.

Dortmunder's back and, judging by the opening chapter, his luck still hasn't changed for the better - thank goodness. If it's possible, the predicaments he gets into are even more outlandish and are described even more vividly by Westlake.

The genius of the Dortmunder books is the brilliant simplicity of the plans that can't fail, followed by their inevitable failure, usually through a most unexpected foul-up. This timeout, Dortmunder is asked by regular scary man Tiny Bulcher to help recover a holy relic for his cousin's homeland. It just happens that the relic is the femur of an obscure saint, somehow important to the country being granted entry into the United Nations. As the title suggests...don't ask.

Once again, Dortmunder devises an ingeniously simple plan to recover the relic from the embassy of a neighbouring country. Once again his plan works perfectly - almost. Once again he must devise an even more brilliant plan which takes more risks and leaves him open to even greater failure.

Hilariously, the boys from the Continental Detective Agency make another ill-fated appearance. This mob would have to be the unluckiest group of blokes in New York. They continue to be the only people who consistently come off second best to Dortmunder and his crew.

This is the eighth book in the Dortmunder series and carries on the tradition in fine style. As a reader who has read the previous seven, the sly references to incidents that occurred in earlier books gave the feeling of being a part of the team, reminiscing about past glories. For a very humorous and enjoyable caper, this is an extremely worthwhile read.

This book is wildly successful at all levels. Tightly plotted, it has more surprising turns than a roller coaster. The comedy is deft and clever, and the characterizations are vivid, amusing, and engrossing. A genuinely brilliant tour de force.

I would put this book right up there with Drowned Hopes and WTWTCH? as the cream of the Dortmunder crop. The first chapter alone is worth the price of admission; aside from serving as an excellent introduction to the characters and setting the stage for what's to come (in more ways than one), it is a wonderful piece of writing and a comedic tour de force. You might think the rest of the book couldn't possibly live up to the lofty standard set by Chapter 1, but it does, and then some. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that I can't recommend this book highly enough.

Humor me while I tell you about this crime comedy.

"What's In It For Me?" is the motto that Dortmunder claims from his family crest until someone reminds him that he was brought up as an orphan at the Bleeding Heart Sisters of Eternal Misery in Dead Indian, Illinois. He finally admits, "I stole it." That sums up Dortmunder's approach to life, and is the theme of this story.

Caught in a tug-of-war, two newly formed Eastern European countries, Tsergovia and Votskojek, are fighting for one seat in the United Nations. A Catholic Archbishop has been selected to determine who shall gain the seat. Both countries assume that he will be swayed by who has the authentic relic of Saint Ferghana Karanovich (1200?-1217), repentant daughter of a family of murdering and robbing innkeepers. The relic is one of her femurs, a remnant of some unpleasant family eating habits. In the hands of Votskojek, Tsergovia has challenged its authenticity. Tests are being conducted in New York. Tsergovia knows that Votskojek has the real thing, and needs to find a way to grab the bone. Like two children pulling on a wish bone at Thanksgiving, only one will get their wish.

Dortmunder and his usual cronies (Andy Kelp, Stan Murch, Murch's Mom, and Tiny Bulcher) are engaged in pursuing this activity for Tsergovia by Tiny's cousin, Grijk Krugnk (and if you can say that correctly, you are the only one who can other than Dortmunder). Although Tsergovia has no money, a New York bank unwittingly loans Tsergovia funds that Grijk Krugnk can use to hire Dortmunder and his crew.

Who will get the seat? Who will get the bone? Is the bone genuine? Those are but a few of the questions this zany novel will answer for you.

To me, the best Dortmunder novels have brilliant plans, really weird complications, and lots of jokes along the way. Don't Ask abounds in all three dimensions.

I thought the humor was the best of any book I have read in the series. There is the obligatory nonsense among the regular patrons at the OJ Bar & Grill on Amsterdam Avenue, where Dortmunder likes to hold his meetings in the back room. They begin by discussing why the Indy 500 is called that. One regular asserts, "It's because . . . they run it on Independence Day." Another argues that Independence Day is not the Fourth of July, "This Fourth of July is the fourth of July!" "The reason they call the Indy the Indy is because they named it in honor the guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark." And on it goes!

A second source of humor is about the difficulties that the Eastern Europeans have in pronouncing English words and the American have in pronouncing Eastern European words. After this book, Tiny may become "Diny" for you.

A third source of humor is the book's main theme, the absurd seriousness with which sovereign nations are treated . . . even if there is almost no substance to them. J.C. Taylor provides the coup de grace on this subject in the book's final chapter. You'll enjoy it.

A fourth source of humor concerns rotten fish. Look for this near the beginning and the end of the book.

A fifth source of humor is found in the allusions to international espionage.

And there are many more including corporate buccaneers, two-timing husbands, and situations in which appearances can be misleading.

I particularly liked the way that the earlier books in the series were referenced in ways to make the humor more vivid. Although you will understand the story without having read those books, these references are wonderful.

Does Murphy's Law really exist? Yes, but Murphy must have stolen it from Dortmunder. Whenever anything goes wrong, I'm tempted to cite Dortmunder's Law instead: Anything funny that can go wrong will!!

After you finish this book, think about some situation you have faced where things did not work out well. Can you see the humor in it now? Would you have found the situation better at the time if you could have seen the humor then? If so, be sure to practice laughing at your circumstances. It's the best medicine.

They say that Donald Westlake is the king of the comic caper. As a loyal subject to the kingdom of comedy-mystery writing and reading, I humbly drop to one knee. King Westlake is ... in modern homage ... Da Man!

If I'd grown up on the same block as John Dortmunder and his independent but loyal gang of friends, I'd likely be checking out my Westlake novels from the prison library. In life I could not steal a kiss, but with each of Westlake's Dortmunder novels I fantasize sitting in that storage-closet-of-a-room in the back of the bar where John, Tiny, Kelp, Murch, the others and I work out the least painful way to extricate ourselves from whatever series of rolling troubles have come from the latest failed caper.

Quirky but clean, witty and wisecracking, bizarre and sometimes violent, but rarely if ever disturbingly or graphically so, the Dortmunder novels are well plotted, well written, and just, well, fun. I find the characters much more complete than the stereotypical additions they bring to the plot, and the interplay and humor excellent.

"Don't Ask" has a plot so silly that I can't imagine what his editor must have first thought, but it proves to be seriously fun. It's absurdity strikes me as something the satirist Christopher Buckley might have written, but Westlake's novel and characters are less biting, and ironically feel real in such a ridiculous situation.

And don't be turned off by the plot point of a 16 year old girl, both canonized and cannibalized - it's mentioned on one page and largely forgotten in the rest of the story.

I discovered Donald E Westlake right after he died. Oh, Mr. Westlake...come back! Come back!

The thing I most love about his comic capers just may be the believability of his characters. He knows how people with little money live. (Not that they are all criminals, but he understands that the table is Formica, not mahogany). His wry sense of humor pops up in the most unexpected of places, and I found myself laughing out loud (a thing I don't get to do very much these days, so it's a treat).

Westlake has (oh. Had.) this astonishing capacity to make what should be a you've-got-to-be-kidding premise into something that seems plausible, extremely original, and the deeper one gets into the novel, the faster you turn the pages. I had never heard of "comic caper" as a genre; apparently, Westlake owned it, and if history is fair, he will continue to do so. I hope you didn't read the whole book description above, because it is a spoiler. It's better to find out the particulars by reading. But in these troubled times, we all need a good laugh, and some of this gentleman's work, now that he is gone, has fallen into the "collector's item" category, valued at over (can you believe it) $200 per copy! Buy this for an every day price while you still can. If you are new to Westlake, you may find yourself, as I did, searching for what else was available. Happily, there's a good deal left.

Oh, Donald Westlake! I sure do miss you.

This is probably my favorite Westlake book of the Dortmunder series. It is great fun to see how Dortmunder gets revenge on a millionaire who humiliates him on one of his "jobs." The action rarely flags, and some of the chapters are extremely well written. The passage that details the Ambassador and his lackey scientist trying to make the "bone" look old enough to pass off as the real one is hilarious. I've read the book several times and never get tired of it.

A bit of slapstick, a bit of schtick, a bit of fun.....old time writing and setting, but lots of fun, nontheless.

If you have any affinity with NYC, you will derive enormous pleasure from any of Westlake's Dortmunder mysteries. These books are pure entertainment; great mysteries (of course one always cheers for Dortmunder and his gang), very, very funny, and marvelous truisms in Westlake's satire. Just great!!
I particularly like "Don't Ask" because I actually learned a number of new facts about New York. Don't miss "Don't Ask"!