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35 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Power Tool for Getting Ms. Right and Avoiding Ms. Wrong
This book really just tells it like it is. I think that good men will agree with most of what he says. Bob Lott is really explaining how any decent man can have a really beautiful woman in his life, but it will take work and discipline. His first step is to really cast out fear of approaching beautiful women by making you understand that your beliefs that you will fail...
Published on August 4, 2005 by Mark McDonald

versus
51 of 57 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A few good points in here
This is an all right book but there are better ones out there if you want to improve your dating skills.
That said, here are the pros and cons:
PROS
(1) gives you a pep talk to work on your image in asking a good looking woman out; (2) teaches you how to have the right date with her; (3) teaches you how to act towards her . .. honesty, love, appreciation...
Published on June 28, 2001 by MISTER SJEM


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35 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Power Tool for Getting Ms. Right and Avoiding Ms. Wrong, August 4, 2005
By 
Mark McDonald (Berkeley, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This book really just tells it like it is. I think that good men will agree with most of what he says. Bob Lott is really explaining how any decent man can have a really beautiful woman in his life, but it will take work and discipline. His first step is to really cast out fear of approaching beautiful women by making you understand that your beliefs that you will fail are not based in reality.

He makes it clear that women are creatures with intricate needs, and one of these needs is to associate with classy male companions. However, beautiful women have to protect themselves from the jerks that routinely approach them, and they need time to warm up. Furthermore, you must use the tool of indirection to get past her defenses, to make her feel safe, to let her know that you're different, and to let her imagine more than what is there. The central thesis of his book is to never worry about how a woman feels about you. You, as a male suitor, need only worry about how she feels about herself.

Bob Lott explains that love, romance, and intimacy go hand in hand with each other. He adequately explains that many beautiful women HATE alcohol and that ALL beautiful women LOATHE problem drinkers. And he directs you to stay away from bar women, very wisely. If you are a man of class, dignity, and integrity, then those traits literally repel barflies. And the jealousy that beautiful women have to deal with from divas at nightclubs really hurts. Good men and beautiful women are not to be found in bars. And beautiful women know this.

The other crucial point Bob Lott makes is that the death of a relationship with a really beautiful woman is predictability. This does not mean instability, but rather always taking initiative to do new, fun, interesting things, and never being lazy. Keeping her around means constantly romancing her- taking a risk on her. It is through this selflessness that we come to love each other. Creating an affectionate, loving environment communicates to a woman that you think that she is not just OK, but rare and special. Intimacy exists only when we can deal with each other from an I'm OK- You're OK point of reference. But when you get lazy and cease to create a loving and affectionate environment, she will no longer want to be with you.

The mistake that most men make is that they believe, incorrectly, that being a woman's friend and being a woman's lover are mutually exclusive. It's just not so. Almost all women, especially the most beautiful (and also the loneliest of all), want to be closely attached to a lover who is their best friend and companion in life. It is precisely this kind of relationship that transforms us into better people, and helps us to get the most out of life.

And Bob Lott so wisely encourages you to focus on one woman at a time. He's right. Aim for the whole flock and you'll kill no birds, but aim for one and you'll hit it. Men who are constantly bedhopping are using sex as a narcotic. Their lives are empty and have no meaning. And when you've found the right woman, seen her display morality, character and integrity over and over again, and have a relationship based on loyalty and allegiance, this is when you should marry her.

And Bob Lott makes it clear that once you marry her, you can certainly never lie down on the job. You don't own her like chattel. She's your partner, whom you've chosen, and who has chosen you. If you want her to make your life wonderful, do your darndest to make hers wonderful as well.

[...]

This book is really about dating the top 2 percent of the female gender. It's about relating to the women who have a well-kept appearance, brains, class and personality- true beauty that will not fade over time. [...]

So go for it guys. Never be the jerk. Don't be the fake, phony guy who uses niceness to disguise what he really wants. BE A GOOD MAN.

But don't take my word for it.
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51 of 57 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A few good points in here, June 28, 2001
By 
MISTER SJEM "sonofhotpie" (CALIF BAY AREA United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
This is an all right book but there are better ones out there if you want to improve your dating skills.
That said, here are the pros and cons:
PROS
(1) gives you a pep talk to work on your image in asking a good looking woman out; (2) teaches you how to have the right date with her; (3) teaches you how to act towards her . .. honesty, love, appreciation . .. realize she will walk if she doesn't get some basic needs met; (4) having a future with her; (5) how to break up with one beauty for another; what to say; and (6) marrying her
CONS
(1) Too much for such a small book . .. price, that is. (2) Not enough details on asking her out. It basically says to go up and ask her out after asking a question but spends no time in detailing to be aware of her body language towards you. The author makes it sound like just your sincerity will get a date. Not true. (3) There's nothing about the whole dating game. Not every woman you date is going to be a good match but you won't find that out until later. There isn't anything about dealing with manipulations or certain actions that a good looking woman will try, knowing that men will put up with more from her because of her beauty. (4) Conflict resolution skills, which are vital to any relationship, aren't helpful. He basically suggests you take everything in stride which makes you sound like you're afraid of conflict or want her to walk all over you; and (5) There's very little about making yourself presentable to a good looking woman. Based on the reading, the author makes it sound that a good heart will land you with the girl. Again, not true. Look at biology and anthropology, as well as the men good looking women are involved with; while they aren't always good looking guys or guys with money . .. they certainly aren't super overweight smelly guys with bad breathe.
... HOW TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN and R. Don Steele's BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS [are] good, too. If you want to know about long term, read John Gray or Barbara de Angelis.
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40 of 44 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not very helpful, May 30, 2000
By A Customer
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
From the editorial comments above, this book sounded like a really amazing book. I admit I was intrigued. But after a very quick reading (minimal insights, and no exercises), my conclusion is that the substance is just not there. With what seemed promised by the editorial, I thought this book would go through, step-by-step, HOW to accomplish the desired end-product, but instead gives a lot of common knowledge information and uses analogies which tend to confuse rather than clarify. It's a sort of romantic read...the analogies ARE quite poetic, but I expected more...perhaps something with real, tangible exercises that would actually get you MOVING in the direction that it talks about, and talks about, and talks about... I also didn't appreciate the referalls to get psychiatric help...not the help I was looking for in this book....
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30 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every Beautiful Woman Wants A Good Man!!, April 20, 2005
If you want a beautiful woman in your life. You must show that your a good man that can be trusted. You could be the biggest snake on the face of this earth. Thanks to this book, you can be transformed into the love of her life. Love and hate is on a very thin line. You are only a heart beat away into becoming everything in a man thats she is looking for. Allow this book to make that happen for you.
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22 of 25 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars A waste, February 5, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
The title is misleading as this book offers no insight that might help the average joe to meet women. Only one chapter is actually dedicated to approaching women and the only advice given is to think of a good question to ask upon meeting them. Nice, think of a question... great advice, now I know all I need to know about picking up women.
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20 of 25 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Cheesy book... complete waste of money, October 10, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
I gave this book a chance and read it, but I wish I had returned it instead. Now I've got this thing lying around the house that is totally useless. The author really offers odd viewpoints and the book seems cheap -- but overpriced!! ... I tried these "ideas" out and so did friends, mostly out of curiousity, and they stink. You're much better off asking a girl to grab a bite to eat sometime and keep it low-pressure. This book doesn't have much to offer.
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21 of 28 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not at all what I expected., March 24, 2001
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
From all I was reading about this, I was expecting this to be something good. I was never so disappointed in a book when this was shown to me. First of all, practically everything in here is commonsense we all know, and this is a light-weight, small guide that is a short read and it doesn't tell anything about what women want from men. It does however, TRIES, to give the reader the confidence to approach beautiful women, but that's basically it. We all know that it takes more than that, but that's about all you will find here. If you want a confidence building guide, this is the one to buy, but that's all you will get. I have a lot of dating books, and this has the lowest content for what men are looking for on being more successful with women. I'm glad I didn't buy it. The crux of Chapter one is to not be afraid and just ask her out, but that's basically all he says for that chapter. You can't get much out of that! The rest of his small read doesn't get much better. Later he states that in order to be successful with beautiful women, you have to treat them with respect. No kidding!! REALLY! Wow, I didn't know that! Did you? Commonsense we all know. This is a product that is hyped up, and you will find out different after you see it for yourself. There are far to many other books that offers better advice, so I'll pass on this one.
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16 of 21 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Hmm. /shrug, September 3, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
Some of this was good, some not so good. For instance, jumping from chapter "Where she is" into "So you found her and asked her out" is something of a leap of faith that conveniently bypasses the very title of this book.
...
Granted, some of the advice is good. Like "never approach a woman with a statement." Sounds common-sense, but a lot of guys do this. Okay. Some of this advice just plain .... Like "when you're on a date and she orders a drink, you refrain." In the reading, seems like a sensible reason for this, but it should have been written "do not overindulge." Some women will feel weird when their drink arrives and ends up sitting next to your Sprite.
The last third of this book turns into "How to live the Cleaver Family life with a Beautiful Woman" - for a seventy-page book, this is again making some leaps that should be left to marriage counsellors or religious professionals. ...
Unfortunately, this is another book I can't believe people want money for. ... Maintain good ethics, and self-respect, and you shouldn't have a problem...
T
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16 of 21 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars This book is overpriced and unhelpful, November 18, 2003
By A Customer
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
This book is short, small (about the size of a wallet), supremely overpriced, and wrong. Amazingly, though the title of the book is "Don't Be Afraid To Ask!!" the author entirely omits advice about summoning up the courage and technique to ask a beautiful woman out on a date! Most, if not all of the "information" in the book is just common sense. This book is not worth the cost of paper and ink that were used to produce it, yet the price is ...!
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14 of 20 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars It was worth the money I spent, May 6, 2001
This review is from: Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman (Paperback)
I saw a copy of Mr. Lott's book on the shelf [at a bookstore]. The title caught my eye, so I picked it up to read, being careful not to be seen by a woman who was standing by me. Ha Ha! Anyway, I read it, and all I could get from it is don't be intimidated by a woman when asking for that date. Nearly all of this was about a discussion on how men are afraid to approach beautiful women and that they shouldn't be. I was skipping those parts ( because it's obvious that we shouldn't be), trying to find the things men can really use. I couldn't find any of the usual stuff found in other books. ... . It's good for discussing about how men are afraid to approach beautiful women, but that's about all there is to this. There's really nothing solid a guy can use. I think men know that they shouldn't be afraid to ask a beautiful woman out. What are the words to say to her so she will say: "Yes, I will go out with you." is what's needed. Not just a discussion on not being afraid. I think reading worthwhile techniques to use on her (knowing how to dress, what words to say to her to break the ice...) is more of a confidence bulider than anything. This book missed the mark completely on what men can use to meet and date women.
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Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman
Don't Be Afraid To Ask : How To Date A Beautiful Woman by Bob Lott (Paperback - Mar. 2001)
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