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29 of 35 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Not too impressed, May 19, 2008
This review is from: Don't Blame It on Rio: The Real Deal Behind Why Men Go to Brazil for Sex (Hardcover)
In an attempt to offer a balanced review of this work, I found myself in a conundrum: Why is it that these men find no fault in their own behavior; and choose to deflect total blame on American black women?
I found the book somewhat cliché in that it offered nothing new that hasn't been written on blogs, in popular magazine and on Youtube. I guess I was looking for more sustenance; instead I found the book rehashing those same rationales: American black women are too goal focused, materialistic, physically unattractive, sexually inhibited and lack the ability to please our men.
Ok... got it.
Not really....
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Quite honestly, sex tourism is not new. Many men (black, White...) have traveled to distant lands in search of some exotic poon that they don't think exists at home. As a matter of fact, a very good friend of mine traveled to Rio several years ago with some friends; and was very candid about the freaky sex, the beautiful women...the freaky sex and of course, the freaky sex. To him, he'd realized very quickly what the game was about. It was about sex. Which, is why, I believe, looking for deeper meaning in this behavior is problematic. Primarily because the motivation seems to be linked to sex.
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It's not the sex that I question. It's the deeper message that people are trying to derive from this. Primarily that it's the fault of American black women, and our inability to be feminine, freaky, intelligent (yet not too intelligent), and live solely for the purpose of pleasing our men. We are supposed to engage in every type of freaky sexual act (or at least not out-right refuse), cook, clean, physically birth children, yet remain as thin, tone and flawless as a nulli-parius 19 year old; and not become too focused on our own careers and ambitions.
When I attempted to summarize this text, I found that it (and many of the anecdotes) was parked at the intersection of narcissism and immaturity. I found that many of the interviewees found that they needed not to be partnered with black women; yet served by black women. Many of the men, not surprisingly, were either divorced, or had several failed relationships. Yet, at no time did any of them cast blame with the "man in the mirror" for the state of their failed relationships with American black women.
I also found it amazingly interesting that many of the interviewees found the sexual freedom of Brazilian women attractive; but degraded American black women who were sexual. Most painful for me to read was the chapter on "Morris-Brown, Clark and Spellman college women", when the barrage of "ho comments" were introduced. I also found it a bit sad when these men openly admitted that American black women exploited the sex-drives of professional black men for money or materialism, yet could not see that "paying to travel to a poor country for sex" was intrinsically, exploitive. In other words, the interviewees were quick to blame their behavior on American black women's lack of ...whatever...; yet couldn't admit that traveling to a poor country for sex with women (many of whom don't even speak the language) was equally or if not worse than any perceived manipulation they faced by American black women.
Another issue (as a public health researcher) that bothered me was the high rates of STDs and HIV in this country. These men spoke candidly about risky sexual behaviors; yet omitted any consequences these behaviors had on their health, the health of their partners (in the US) and the health of the women involved.
Also, it almost comical that many of these men really believed that they were in "exclusive, monogamous relationships"; when it's clear that they will quickly be replaced once the passport expires, and the next group of brothas who paid for the experience, roll down. Yet, for some men, this seems to be more attractive then working on mature relationships with women who are their social and intellectual peers.
I don't know. I really think this whole "Rio-thang" is more about ego-stroking, fantasy and no-frills sex than about some systematic abuse from black women. And not an epidemic among black men.
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Then Who Do We Blame It On?, May 9, 2008
This review is from: Don't Blame It on Rio: The Real Deal Behind Why Men Go to Brazil for Sex (Hardcover)
Don't Blame it On Rio by Jewel Woods and Karen Hunter is an interview style commentary on why African-American men are choosing to go to Rio, Brazil to find companionship. The general gist of the book is how African-American men are not having their needs met by African-American women and as such they are justified in searching elsewhere. I had read several articles on this so-called phenomenon that gave me a sketch of what to expect when reading this book. I must say that the book was simply a longer version of the articles which have appeared in African-American magazines for the past couple of years.
Don't Blame it On Rio was fairly easy reading, I was able to complete it in less than a day, however, what kept me reading was my desire to find a different story to the age old lack of communication between brothers and sisters. Instead, I found a rehashing of a decades long debate about how most African-American women are simply interested in success and status and are less focused on pleasing their men, particularly sexually. What I found particularly interesting was how some of the interviewees indicated interest in successful, career-minded women but also wanted them to take care of the children and the homefront, while maintaining `freak' status in the bedroom. Much of it read like male fantasy to me which explains why one would spend thousands to travel to a tropical paradise in search of a relationship.
What I found most disheartening was how objectified the Brazilian women were and the lack of clarity on the parts of the men who found the relationships to be anything other than mercenary. In a country filled with poverty and where the sex trade is legal, having sex with wealthy men would seem to be a standard operating procedure. I recommend this book to those who are interested in reading about what goes on in the minds of men who can afford to travel to exotic locales for fantasy fulfillment.
Angelia Menchan
APOOO BookClub
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Good book, provocative and thought provoking., April 27, 2008
This review is from: Don't Blame It on Rio: The Real Deal Behind Why Men Go to Brazil for Sex (Hardcover)
I really enjoyed reading the book. The book talks about the frustrations of some African American men in the middle class, and how this plays out in their trips to Brazil and interaction with Brazilian prostitutes. All of the issues that were laid out in the book aren't mine, but even if they aren't, I can remember those points being discussion points when hanging out with some of my friends. I like how the book was written, easy to digest and not lost in a bunch of academic terminology. I think that his writing style will get a lot more people to read it.
The question of are Black women necessary is an interesting one. As an African American man who has been to "Copa" -Copacabana in Rio, I like how Woods' dealt with the contrast between the dream created in Copa and the reality lived in the U.S. What I like best is the issue at hand for many African American men, which is to come home to a safe environment, where they feel respected for the battles they fight everday. I think it is pretty acceptable in a lot of literature to explore African American women's needs, but what about the Brotha's. I know "Copa" is fake, but what is real is that many African American men are looking for things they are just not getting.
The Chapter just drinking and sexing is real accurate about the "Copa" experience. I can't say Brazil experience, because Copa is a tourist area, which caters to foreigners. If you move into other areas of the city, or other cities in Brazil, the experience is different, and in my view much better -or real. The quotes from the men who have went do good job of describing how intoxicating the experience is, and the type of impression it leaves on some of the men who experience it. I also like how it describes how African American men treat one another there. In Copa, for the most part, there is no fighting, no disrespect, and you can find guys who may not interact otherwise, having good conversations with one another. The Hip Hop and porn issues are interesting. I liked how Woods, through the stories of the guys, explored how men in Brazil were defining their own sexuality, and then in turn, questioned the validity of it.
I liked the chapters that dealt with some of the gender confusion African American men have with African American women -have been through some of them- and how it causes a lot of frustration amongst brotha's. I think if anything, it is hard for some African American men to find their voice -outside of locker rooms- about their gender issues with African American women. It is more than just sex. It's the whole role issue of who is supposed to do what in a relationship. I think the projection of femininity put on prostitutes who are getting paid to provide an illusion is about as much of a stretch as looking to pornography to define what sex in a relationship is supposed to be like.
The weight issue is deep. Again, there aren't many legitimate forums to discuss these issues without getting bashed for being insensitive. However, the weight of your significant other is an issue. If it is an issue for African American women, then logically, their partners are going to have an issue as well. I think what the book shows to me is that when people don't discuss what they feel openly, it gets dealt with inappropriately. The issue for all African Americans is to take care of ourselves better, including dealing with our weight.
I like the mantle man chapter as well. I think there are a lot of expectations put on African American men in the middle class that either we can't, or don't want to meet. There is a lot of pressure put on men in a patriarchal society. What I find funny about this chapter, is the conception that Brazilian women are somehow more understanding of an African American mans struggle then African American women. As a brotha married to a Brazilian woman, who about ten minutes ago just created a second job for me, I find it hilarious. Brazil doesn't have welfare, people hustle to grow, and don't look kindly on whiners mad that life is a struggle. I interact a lot with the Brazilian community in my city, and get energized by their expectations of themselves, even when they are not here legally. They don't get caught up in a sense of entitlement, just like a lot of other foreign people coming to the U.S.
To close, I think the book does a good job at sparking discussion, I just hope people will have conversations instead of talking "at" one another. Personally, I also hope people focus on other aspects of Brazil. It is such a rich country, full of Black folks, culture, oppression, liberation, and everything else. Many African Americans go to Bahia for its rich cultural experience, and build good friendships. I also think it is okay for African American's to learn from other cultures, like so many have learned from us over the years. I know my work ethic has grown after interacting with the Brazilian community in my city. I also learn from African's and others who come to the U.S. and do a better job economically than many Americans of any race do.
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