Customer Reviews

Don't Blame It on Rio: The Real Deal Behind Why Men Go to Brazil for Sex

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

In an attempt to offer a balanced review of this work, I found myself in a conundrum: Why is it that these men find no fault in their own behavior; and choose to deflect total blame on American black women?

I found the book somewhat cliché in that it offered nothing new that hasn't been written on blogs, in popular magazine and on Youtube. I guess I was looking for more sustenance; instead I found the book rehashing those same rationales: American black women are too goal focused, materialistic, physically unattractive, sexually inhibited and lack the ability to please our men.

Ok... got it.

Not really....

--------------

Quite honestly, sex tourism is not new. Many men (black, White...) have traveled to distant lands in search of some exotic poon that they don't think exists at home. As a matter of fact, a very good friend of mine traveled to Rio several years ago with some friends; and was very candid about the freaky sex, the beautiful women...the freaky sex and of course, the freaky sex. To him, he'd realized very quickly what the game was about. It was about sex. Which, is why, I believe, looking for deeper meaning in this behavior is problematic. Primarily because the motivation seems to be linked to sex.

_________________________

It's not the sex that I question. It's the deeper message that people are trying to derive from this. Primarily that it's the fault of American black women, and our inability to be feminine, freaky, intelligent (yet not too intelligent), and live solely for the purpose of pleasing our men. We are supposed to engage in every type of freaky sexual act (or at least not out-right refuse), cook, clean, physically birth children, yet remain as thin, tone and flawless as a nulli-parius 19 year old; and not become too focused on our own careers and ambitions.

When I attempted to summarize this text, I found that it (and many of the anecdotes) was parked at the intersection of narcissism and immaturity. I found that many of the interviewees found that they needed not to be partnered with black women; yet served by black women. Many of the men, not surprisingly, were either divorced, or had several failed relationships. Yet, at no time did any of them cast blame with the "man in the mirror" for the state of their failed relationships with American black women.

I also found it amazingly interesting that many of the interviewees found the sexual freedom of Brazilian women attractive; but degraded American black women who were sexual. Most painful for me to read was the chapter on "Morris-Brown, Clark and Spellman college women", when the barrage of "ho comments" were introduced. I also found it a bit sad when these men openly admitted that American black women exploited the sex-drives of professional black men for money or materialism, yet could not see that "paying to travel to a poor country for sex" was intrinsically, exploitive. In other words, the interviewees were quick to blame their behavior on American black women's lack of ...whatever...; yet couldn't admit that traveling to a poor country for sex with women (many of whom don't even speak the language) was equally or if not worse than any perceived manipulation they faced by American black women.

Another issue (as a public health researcher) that bothered me was the high rates of STDs and HIV in this country. These men spoke candidly about risky sexual behaviors; yet omitted any consequences these behaviors had on their health, the health of their partners (in the US) and the health of the women involved.

Also, it almost comical that many of these men really believed that they were in "exclusive, monogamous relationships"; when it's clear that they will quickly be replaced once the passport expires, and the next group of brothas who paid for the experience, roll down. Yet, for some men, this seems to be more attractive then working on mature relationships with women who are their social and intellectual peers.

I don't know. I really think this whole "Rio-thang" is more about ego-stroking, fantasy and no-frills sex than about some systematic abuse from black women. And not an epidemic among black men.

Don't Blame it On Rio by Jewel Woods and Karen Hunter is an interview style commentary on why African-American men are choosing to go to Rio, Brazil to find companionship. The general gist of the book is how African-American men are not having their needs met by African-American women and as such they are justified in searching elsewhere. I had read several articles on this so-called phenomenon that gave me a sketch of what to expect when reading this book. I must say that the book was simply a longer version of the articles which have appeared in African-American magazines for the past couple of years.

Don't Blame it On Rio was fairly easy reading, I was able to complete it in less than a day, however, what kept me reading was my desire to find a different story to the age old lack of communication between brothers and sisters. Instead, I found a rehashing of a decades long debate about how most African-American women are simply interested in success and status and are less focused on pleasing their men, particularly sexually. What I found particularly interesting was how some of the interviewees indicated interest in successful, career-minded women but also wanted them to take care of the children and the homefront, while maintaining `freak' status in the bedroom. Much of it read like male fantasy to me which explains why one would spend thousands to travel to a tropical paradise in search of a relationship.

What I found most disheartening was how objectified the Brazilian women were and the lack of clarity on the parts of the men who found the relationships to be anything other than mercenary. In a country filled with poverty and where the sex trade is legal, having sex with wealthy men would seem to be a standard operating procedure. I recommend this book to those who are interested in reading about what goes on in the minds of men who can afford to travel to exotic locales for fantasy fulfillment.

Angelia Menchan
APOOO BookClub

I really enjoyed reading the book. The book talks about the frustrations of some African American men in the middle class, and how this plays out in their trips to Brazil and interaction with Brazilian prostitutes. All of the issues that were laid out in the book aren't mine, but even if they aren't, I can remember those points being discussion points when hanging out with some of my friends. I like how the book was written, easy to digest and not lost in a bunch of academic terminology. I think that his writing style will get a lot more people to read it.
The question of are Black women necessary is an interesting one. As an African American man who has been to "Copa" -Copacabana in Rio, I like how Woods' dealt with the contrast between the dream created in Copa and the reality lived in the U.S. What I like best is the issue at hand for many African American men, which is to come home to a safe environment, where they feel respected for the battles they fight everday. I think it is pretty acceptable in a lot of literature to explore African American women's needs, but what about the Brotha's. I know "Copa" is fake, but what is real is that many African American men are looking for things they are just not getting.
The Chapter just drinking and sexing is real accurate about the "Copa" experience. I can't say Brazil experience, because Copa is a tourist area, which caters to foreigners. If you move into other areas of the city, or other cities in Brazil, the experience is different, and in my view much better -or real. The quotes from the men who have went do good job of describing how intoxicating the experience is, and the type of impression it leaves on some of the men who experience it. I also like how it describes how African American men treat one another there. In Copa, for the most part, there is no fighting, no disrespect, and you can find guys who may not interact otherwise, having good conversations with one another. The Hip Hop and porn issues are interesting. I liked how Woods, through the stories of the guys, explored how men in Brazil were defining their own sexuality, and then in turn, questioned the validity of it.
I liked the chapters that dealt with some of the gender confusion African American men have with African American women -have been through some of them- and how it causes a lot of frustration amongst brotha's. I think if anything, it is hard for some African American men to find their voice -outside of locker rooms- about their gender issues with African American women. It is more than just sex. It's the whole role issue of who is supposed to do what in a relationship. I think the projection of femininity put on prostitutes who are getting paid to provide an illusion is about as much of a stretch as looking to pornography to define what sex in a relationship is supposed to be like.
The weight issue is deep. Again, there aren't many legitimate forums to discuss these issues without getting bashed for being insensitive. However, the weight of your significant other is an issue. If it is an issue for African American women, then logically, their partners are going to have an issue as well. I think what the book shows to me is that when people don't discuss what they feel openly, it gets dealt with inappropriately. The issue for all African Americans is to take care of ourselves better, including dealing with our weight.
I like the mantle man chapter as well. I think there are a lot of expectations put on African American men in the middle class that either we can't, or don't want to meet. There is a lot of pressure put on men in a patriarchal society. What I find funny about this chapter, is the conception that Brazilian women are somehow more understanding of an African American mans struggle then African American women. As a brotha married to a Brazilian woman, who about ten minutes ago just created a second job for me, I find it hilarious. Brazil doesn't have welfare, people hustle to grow, and don't look kindly on whiners mad that life is a struggle. I interact a lot with the Brazilian community in my city, and get energized by their expectations of themselves, even when they are not here legally. They don't get caught up in a sense of entitlement, just like a lot of other foreign people coming to the U.S.
To close, I think the book does a good job at sparking discussion, I just hope people will have conversations instead of talking "at" one another. Personally, I also hope people focus on other aspects of Brazil. It is such a rich country, full of Black folks, culture, oppression, liberation, and everything else. Many African Americans go to Bahia for its rich cultural experience, and build good friendships. I also think it is okay for African American's to learn from other cultures, like so many have learned from us over the years. I know my work ethic has grown after interacting with the Brazilian community in my city. I also learn from African's and others who come to the U.S. and do a better job economically than many Americans of any race do.

Come on let's call it what it is, ethnic exploitation. Brasil has a large Black population, in fact the second largest Black population outside of Nigeria and the largest Black population in the Western Hemisphere, the United States being second. The same Black sex that Black men are looking for in Brasil, is nothing more but the same Black sex here in the United States. The Black women in Brasil are most definitely more lighter than the Black women in the United States, in fact many Black women in Brasil don't or won't readily identify themselves as being Black or of having African ancestry. Light-skin Black in the Unites States is light-skin Black anywhere in the world. Please hear me out. The women in Brasil are poor and unfortunately poor people can be exploited and coerced more effectively than lets say a Michelle Obama, Condoleeza Rice, Frances Cress Welshing or Oprah Winfrey all of the latter being more educated and financially well off. I'm not saying that all Brasilian women are poor and uneducated, but I am saying that a large portion of the country is inhabited by poor people, especially Rio. I think that a lot of this "phenomenon" has to do with the insecurities of Black men and the fascination that some Black men have with lighter-skin women be they of African, Asian, European or all of the aforementioned heritage. As an educated Black man, I feel I know this all too well, but being educated I see right through this as well. As Black men we are broken and we have a huge hole in our souls and we are looking for someone to listen to us, to heal us and make us feel important, in other words we want to be happy (some of us that is...some of us just want it all and don't care who we hurt to get it). I say that I am blessed because I have a sista who is educated and through communication we are healing each other [Our Queens catch the same hell as us brothas]. I am also blessed because I have always communicated my needs to every women I have been with. Brothas believe me you will be surprised what your women will and won't do. Black men we really need to work on ourselves and ask for patience and assistance from the women that are with us. If we are that unhappy at home, we need to resolve the issues that we are having or be done with it plain and simple. Their are plenty of Black women in the United States who put their all into being their all for us and we need to appreciate that. If you just want a prostitute go to the bunny ranch in Nevada. You don't need a passport and you save a whole lot money in the process. These silly Black men/women issues are just that...silly and divisive. If you love the Queen act like, if you love the King act it. It all most be shown from but genders always. I thank the author for writing on this topic, but I hate the fact the we just can't see it for what is it, Black men acting our hurt and frustrations and hurting Black women of all nationalities and ethnicities in the process. We do we go from here people?

I read this book last night on the recommendation of a friend. I speak Portuguese and have lived and studied in Rio de Janeiro. I was appalled at how self-centered and just "clueless" the comments were from the men who go to Rio for sex. I applaud the authors for at least bringing this issue to light, and trying to draw some conclusions from it. Rio has always had an undercurrent of wildness, and I do agree that Brazilians overall are more open about sex than Americans but they are not immoral or the sex objects portrayed by some of the men in the book and the tourism industry. Also for decades Afro-Brazilians have rallied AGAINST the depiction of the "mulata" this mixed race sex machine that has been exported and exploited. The Afro-Brazilians I met in Brazil were disgusted and insulted by this dehumanizing image.

It bothered me also, that based on liaisons with Brazilian women who are sex professionals/prostitutes, the men who participate have drawn conclusions about all Brazilian women, African-American women and Brazilian culture. In the first place if you don't speak the language you get about 10% of what is going on in a country. Secondly, these women who they pay to have sex are not representative of all Brazilian women, not even all cariocas (women from Rio). They are women PAID to have sex who have learned to create a fantasy for these men in order to make more money. If these guys had no money and landed in Rio and could not speak the language, they would not be getting this attention. How shallow is it to consider this kind of situation as something worth leaving your country for or your girlfriend or using it as proof that black women in the U.S. are not up to par?

I think they have a right to go there and participate in prostitution if they want to--they should not be upset if they get arrested for doing something illegal--but they should not stereotype all Brazilian women or all African-American women based on their sexual encounters with paid sex workers. Call it what it is. You are a trick and she is a prostitute. If that floats your boat, go right ahead but don't pretend it is some kind of magical beautiful relationship.

Third, when I was living in Rio, Discoteca "Help" in Copacabana had a nasty reputation and no self-respecting Brazilian women I knew would set foot in there. It was looked down upon and not a place where average Brazilian twenty somethings would visit.

Lastly, it bothers me that there was no regard for these Brazilian women as people. Although I don't approve of what they do, sex for money, many, if not most of them, are desperate and don't have many options in life. Brazil is a beautiful and exciting country but most of the people are POOR. They do not do this because they love it, they do it because it makes them more money (or meals/clothes) than any other jobs they can get. They do it to survive. I think the study would have been more balanced had the authors included some comments from Brazilian prostitutes about why they do this. However, that would have popped the bubble, the fantasy for the men who engage in this. Some of the men who go probably don't care that these women may live in slums (favelas) and only sleep with them for the money, but there are others I'm sure that have a conscience and would be bothered by it if they actually spent time shadowing these women in their own neighborhoods and seeing how they live, rather than keeping them in a nice hotel or apartment.

The other thing I would like to add is that in addition to the lack of discussion about the risks of this kind of reckless sex, many of these black american men are influential with money to spend. Although I don't begrudge them having "fun" their money could really go a long way to help Brazilian people if they actually learned something about the culture and decided to channel it into community programs. Some of these women they frequent probably have pimps and others who take a cut of their earnings. Surely from the description most of them are not doing this by themselves but are part of a big network who channel their services to African-American men in particular. Many of these women are sisters, and rather than throwing so much money into sex tourism, black American men could be helping them to start their own legitimate business or revitalize their communities. It's not their responsibility to do that, of course. But what they are doing with the sex tourism is taking advantage of the desperation of these women in order to have some wild sex and heal their insecurities.

I am an african american male who owns a travel event website and company that deals with black male and female travel excursions so I read the book with great interest. In fact I finished the 300 plus page book in 4 hours, it was THAT good.

I have traveled to Brazil a few times and can relate to what the author was saying as it relates to why black men travel to Brazil. I love all the personal experience from many different men on the reasons why they go to Brazil.

I originally heard about the author in Essence magazine. The magazine article gave a small glimpse of what happens in Brazil for many black men who come for the first time so when I heard he was doing a book

I thought the book was very well researched and gave a good balance on the many different reasons why men travel to this destination. Alot of people think that sex is a driving force. Now make no mistake it is important but not really the most important because most men can get sex in the US. It has to do with much more then that.

For example: Most women from the time they become teenagers to present are so used to getting attention and chased by all types of men on a daily basis that they almost become immune and it becomes expected. They expect men to pay for everything. They expect gifts. They expect men to compete for their affection and there is nothing wrong with that.

However

Most black men do not get that type of yearly let alone daily attention that women receive...so after 30 years and finally becoming that successful businessman, lawyer, doctor, teachers or any successful occupation and being able to want to relax and meet attractive nice women ....they are looking for a place where they can get attention too.



They land in a place where thousands of extremely beautiful women chase you down the street ( whether fantasy or not) saying things and DOING things .... that you never thought would happen in your lifetime which in turn becomes a life changing event for many men who travel for the first time. In one solid week, everything you have always wanted in a women or relationship becomes a reality.

I think the author touched on so many feelings on why so many men travel to Brazil that it deserves a rock solid A+ for covering so many area. Now the only thing I would disagree with ( if at all ) is the scare tactic that the book presents.

Although there are alot of many who go to Brazil, its a myth to think that black women are in danger of this phenomenon and that most professional black men are going to Brazil and leaving women in the US behind.

Sure, I think there are many men who travel to Brazil but NOWHERE near any sizable numbers of men compared to how many black men are in the US.
99% of men will NEVER go to Brazil because of cost, travel distance and the amount of effort it takes to fly to Brazil.. We are talking about a select few individuals in country of millions who have found about what I like to call the "Black Fantasy Island"

In the meantime without being judgemental, if you can read this book and not easily offended( Im talking about female readers) then you will enjoy the multiple dynamics of what men truly desire in relationships.

This book gets a rare 5 stars in my review

[...]

First of all I live in Rio and have been in the Rio scene for almost two decades. Every year i see brothers flock to Copa and every year i see and hear the horror stories of broken hearts and empty wallets. This book should be titled Blame it on America because of the sex starved mindsets that some Brothers bring to Rio. Talk about having baggage. The equation for disaster is simple. Take one 3rd world country full of beautiful, super poor women. Add in the fact that there is no welfare,WIC,social services and very little child support. Mix in the law that says prostitution is legal and WA-LA; you have hundreds if not thousands of young, beautiful, sun tanned women who could compete for cover space on any American magazine out selling their bodies. Now along comes MR. AMERICA. He's middle aged, successful, and has a pocket full of money but his sex life is in the tanker. The only twenty year old skin he sees is Beyonce dancing in a video or fantasizing when he drops his daughter off at college. Blend the two together and you have Rio. For the most part its simple pay for play and everyone leaves happy but more and more Brothers are starting to develope feelings for the girls. These are the men who have contributed to this book and books like these help foster the myth of men finding love, friendship, and some sort of gratification other than sexual that they are not finding in the USA. A super small minority of men actually take the time to meet regular brazilian women and its a possibility that they've found something real but to sum things up this book is based on interviews with the majority of men who have been duped by brazilian prostitutes into thinking they've found something real in Brazil. Sorry Jewel Woods but your sources are all wrong.

This an interesting book. I agree with some of the authors ideas. But one would have to say that men are going there because the woman can be enjoyed and exploited due to economics.

If these woman had the options would they be so available to be with the men as companions. It is sad that Black male and Female relationships are so complex at times and not beneficial to either party.

I am glad I read the book.

DON'T BLAME IT ON RIO examines why there seems to be an influx of African-American men escaping to Brazil for sex. Woods attempts to examine the many facets of reasons why in an effort to educate and answer the question of whether African-American women are necessary.

Woods interviewed African-American men of varying ages, socio-economic status and educational levels. These men had gone to Brazil and several frequent the area because of the stories they had heard about the Brazilian women and the excitement of venturing into the unknown. Once the men had gone, there seemed to be an enlightenment of how life in America cannot compare to life in Brazil. There the men were exposed to beautiful women who catered to their wants and treated them like kings. They were able to explore their sexual desires with women who only want to please them. In other words, these men found women who were submissive and subordinate and in a country where their skin color wasn't a detriment or used against them.

After reading DON'T BLAME IT ON RIO, I am not sure I garnered any real answers other than the same ones used as to why African-American men marry outside their race. They do it because they can. Basically, I read African-American women are emasculating, unaccommodating in regards to sex, not submissive, ugly and fat. Reading the testimonies from men who had gone to Brazil, it was a sad commentary on men who felt they could only feel like a man in a third world country where they are exploiting these women who they pay for their services. They are in a country where the general population is poor and these women are doing what they must to survive and help their families. Although Woods unequivocally states African-American woman are necessary, he doesn't really offer new ideas or stories that have not already been stated over the years. The testimonies were interesting, if not totally enlightening. This book basically says African-American men and women have a ways to go to understand each other and their relationships are still lacking and still in a disarray.

Reviewed by Cashana Seals
of The RAWSISTAZ(tm) Reviewers

I've been going to Rio for vacations starting in 1999. I could relate to some of the experiences of the brothers who go there. But I think,no I know that some of the stories are over blown, yes years ago there were very attractive women at Mia Pataca but over the years the quality has dropped where now the "bottom feeders" are known to frequent there. Actually I don't go to restaurant anymore because its the main tourist trap for American Blackmen. As for the Help Disco, I have been there several times and the men have outnumbered the women 3 to 1 and there would not be a lot of attractive women. Its more the luck of the draw in the current years to find the 10's and 12's as one brother put it in the club. Again years ago I could have very attractive women approach me on the beach where I didn't need to go to the Help or the Termas to find "love".
Another thing Mr. Woods didn't mention of the prices it cost for the company of the women, most guys acted like it was free, noooo these women are working for survival and some support their families in other cities where they are from. Now you might get a "discount" from some of the women if they are really in to you and you see over several trips down there, while I'm on that subject I have learned that some of the women are trying to find happiness in there lives and if you respect them they will open up more to you. Also in my experiences they have asked my opinion on life choices that they are contemplating. I have women I've met over the years who still e-mail me from time to time as far away as Spain that let me know whats going on in there life. On my last trip in March 08' I had a woman that I spent one night with in 2000 come up to me in the Help and greeted me like a long lost friend, actually she had to jog my memory but I did remember her so if you need ego stroking you difinately will find it there. I agree when Mr. Woods stated its not about the sex its about what is hard to find in a mate here in the states.