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Don't Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out [Kindle Edition]

Karyn Langhorne Folan , Karen Hunter
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $24.99
Kindle Price: $14.44
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Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc

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Book Description

In Don’t Bring Home a White Boy, writer Karyn Langhorne Folan debunks the myths about interracial relationships. Drawing on real-life testimonials, she boldly tackles this difficult subject with warmth, humor, and understanding, as she explores stereotypes of black female sexuality and white male perspectives on black female beauty.

Folan goes beyond statistics and offers firsthand insights on her own interracial relationship and attempts to tap into a woman’s desire to have all that they deserve instead of restricting themselves, simply because they want a “good black man.” Frank, authoritative, and universally relevant, her message to women is to look beyond skin color, accept themselves for who they are, and seek a man who truly loves them, regardless of race.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A black lawyer with a white husband, Folan encourages other African-American women to consider dating or marrying outside their immediate circles with a sincere but matter-of-fact discussion of interracial relationships. Challenging readers to stop letting notions of difference keep them from happiness, the Harvard-educated attorney addresses the conscious, unconscious and often-unstated issues that contribute to the ongoing taboo: is a black woman who dates or marries interracially a traitor? Is a white husband an emblem of self-hatred? What factor does the U.S. history of sexual oppression play? Though she can sound flip ("I figured since I was doing so badly with the chocolate, I'd give the vanilla a try"), Folan addresses her touchy subject matter deliberately and thoroughly, including lengthy interviews with committed interracial couples who discuss how they met, the reactions of friends and family, and how they've managed over the years, letting their success stories illustrate her points. Though Folan's well-meaning text may not eliminate her readers' hesitation regarding this very loaded subject, it makes an excellent starting point. END

About the Author

Karen Hunter is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, a celebrated radio talk-show host, and co-author of numerous New York Times bestsellers, including Confessions of a Video Vixen, On the Down Low, and Wendy's Got the Heat. She is also an assistant professor in the Film & Media Department at Hunter College

Product Details

  • File Size: 1910 KB
  • Print Length: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery Books/Karen Hunter Publishing (February 2, 2010)
  • Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0033ZAW48
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #567,289 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
89 of 95 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
There is a moment in Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye where I fell in love with the book. Not for its eloquence, its poetic prose or for any empathy toward the characters. The moment is one in which Pauline, Pecola's mother, is watching a movie starring Clark Gable and Jean Harlow. She is so absorbed in her movie fantasy that she styled her hair like Jean. As she watches and snacks on candy, her front tooth comes out. In that moment, she snaps back to reality - a reality where black women are not regarded as beauties, where the vulgarity of her life makes her mean and hateful, where she "settles down to just being ugly". That moment was profound for me because, at that time in my life, I felt that Morrison could see inside my soul and explain exactly what I felt like as a young black woman [please understand that I am not calling myself or any other black woman ugly]. That she understood me clearer in that exact moment, more than any other person could.

That is exactly what I felt from the very first chapter of reading "Don't Bring Home A White Boy" - that same moment where the author has the power to reach across the pages, grasp my hand, and understand exactly how I feel as a black woman.

Let me say that this book was not what I expected from its title. Whenever I sit down to digest a "let's explore this problem" type of book, I have to be in a scholarly, analytical frame of mind. Folan's voice is not that of a scholar, but of an acquaintance or friend who understands our frustrations, desires and experiences as educated black women and decides to dismantle 10 notions that mentally hold black women back from interracial dating. So I found this book to be an engaging, entertaining and thought-provoking read.
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49 of 55 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Much has been written about African-American women being one of the demographic groups in the US who are least likely to be married. However, little of it has explored why so many African-American women are hesitant to increase their odds of finding a suitable husband by dating and marrying interracially. In her book, "Don't Bring Home A White Boy: And Other Notions That Keep Black Women From Dating Out," writer Karyn Langhorne Folan offers a penetrating look at the various misguided "notions" that prevent African-American women from expanding their dating and marriage pool to include quality White men as potential husbands.

In a book that is beautifully written and meticulously researched, Karyn Folan refutes each self-defeating taboo about interracial dating and marriage that serves to keep many African-American women unhappily single. Along the way, Ms. Folan paints unforgettable portraits of little-known persons and incidents from African-American history, including:

(1) The dark-skinned, 15-year old Black girl who refused to give up her seat to a White passenger on a Montgomery, Alabama city bus nine months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. This brave teenager was deemed "too dark," "too feisty," and too poor to be the representative plaintiff for the civil rights movement.

(2) The 1959 Tallahassee, Florida case where an all-White jury convicted four White men of gang-raping a young Black woman named Betty Jean Owens. This is especially significant when viewed in comparison to the current "stop snitching" culture among many African-Americans that allows sexual violence against Black women and girls to go unpunished.

(3) The esteemed 19th century White geologist who pretended to be a light-skinned Black man in order to marry a Black woman.
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20 of 21 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
This was yet another quick and interesting read by Karyn Folan. This book was written to get Black women to get over their issues of dating interracially (specifically, dating White guys) and to just open up their options.

Folan starts out well with using statistics and debunking myths about Black men who allegedly had Black women's interests in mind (for instance, she mentions how some Black male activists were raping Black women as "practice" for raping White women), but I think the book loses some of its steam from the middle to the end when she relies too heavily on excerpts from bloggers' blogs (such as Evia who runs "Black Female Interracial Marriage," a blog I've read in the past and think tends to border on the extremist side, for lack of a better term) and anecdotes from the same interracial couples (the issue of Greg's Cypriot parents disowning him for marrying Jacquetta, a Black woman, was repeated quite a few times) which started to come off as filler more than substance. Folan did interview experts for this book and in the Notes section at the end legitimate sources were cited, but I was disappointed to see that some of the sources were Wikipedia pages.

I did like reading the anecdotes of the couples used, though I think more people should've been interviewed to avoid the repetition noted above. Singles interested in dating interracially should've been interviewed to add to the diversity of the stories.

The reason why this book focused on the coupling of Black women and White men, as opposed to Black women and men of other races, is because there seems to be an animosity from Black women towards White men when asked to consider dating interracially.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Good Read
I learned a lot and I would recommend it to others contemplating interacial relationships. It is good to talk about these things and meet reality for the good of black women and... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Olivia Koffi
5.0 out of 5 stars Really a good Mind Opening book!
I'm so grateful that I was called to purchase and read this book. It echoed a lot of the false notions that people have about dating outside of their cultural backgrounds. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Leeanne N. Pantin
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
Debunking the myths of black women, especially black american women, was more than necessary. Debunking the myths of interracial relationships was extremely necessary as well. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Navy Blue
5.0 out of 5 stars Ladies, Just Be Open
I really enjoyed this statistical-anecdotal book. I've been married for 33 years come November 1st to a brother. Read more
Published 13 months ago by writethought
5.0 out of 5 stars optimistic for good race relations
This book is excelently written. The author describes her own personal experience of meeting and marrying somebody from another racial background which had a very happy... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Eugene John Kenny
4.0 out of 5 stars Pretty good
Broke things down in a way that made sense. An enlightening read that I got through pretty quickly as it was interesting.
Published 16 months ago by Grad Student Lass
5.0 out of 5 stars this women is the bomd
I was floored by some of the info in this book. I purchased 3 book about interracial dating because I am interested, this lady goes deep, she is bring it and I'm glade she really... Read more
Published 17 months ago by geri013
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book!
I read this book cover to cover in 2 days. Folan touches on many topics that are so relevant and had me actually saying out loud how right she is. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Avidbuyer
3.0 out of 5 stars Dated and Married out of my race
A lot of connection to the stories in the book. There does seem to be a double-standard in the AA culture that the men who date and/or marry women from other races, especially... Read more
Published 20 months ago by V. L. W. Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars great find
Great book a must read for those who are thinking about dating out of their race. A book about love no matter who you are and where you came from. Outstanding!!!!
Published on August 15, 2012 by Ronald L. Gulczynski
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More About the Author

Karyn Langhorne Folan is the author of 18 books, including several teen novels for the popular Bluford High series. She lives in the suburbs of Washington, DC with her husband and two daughters.

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