Customer Reviews

Don't Call Me Mother: Breaking the Chain of Mother-Daughter Abandonment

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I was hooked into this book from page one. Who was this little girl? Why was her life so difficult? Who was making her life a living hell?
The answers to these questions are given to us by a child using her five senses. We see, hear, feel, smell, and taste exactly what she is sensing in this beautifully written book to the point where I feel I know this little girl personally. At times, I even feel as though I am standing right there beside her feeling her gut-wrenching sadness as the train takes her mother away to Chicago--again.
With every turn of the page, we hope the little girl will finally be rescued by her mother or her father who will love her, and take care of her. But, this never happens.
There are very few books where I have actually stopped reading, and said to myself, "This is so good." Some lines in this book are written so poetically that I read them twice just to take in their beauty.
Linda Joy has written a memoir of a well-examined life full of vivid memories. The journey she takes us on spans from her desperate childhood to her life today that she enjoys with her children and grandchild. No child should ever be abandoned by a parent. Maybe this book will prevent it from happening again.

Don't Call Me Mother: Breaking The Chain Of Mother-Daughter Abandonment by author and therapist Linda Joy Myer is the compelling, compassionate, at times heart-wrenching story of her being abandoned by her mother. Linda painstakingly uncovers the multifaceted secret of the story of that abandonment and in doing so, takes her readers along on an intensely personal life journey the originates in a home shattered by more than a half-century of dysfunctional family history. Indeed, she found that abandonment was part of a generations-long tradition. But Don't Call Me Mother is also the story of Linda's personal struggle for a peaceful and loving family, breaking the patterns of neglect, achieving an ability for forgiveness. A candid, unflinching, personal memoir of discovery and recovery, Don't Call Me Mother is compelling, and at times inspiring, reading which is especially appropriate for Women's Studies and Family Studies library collections, as well as strongly recommended reading for anyone who were themselves rejected as children by their own mothers.

As a women's memoir writing teacher and coach, I read memoirs to find exemplars for my classes. I recently read the excellent Don't Call Me Mother: Breaking the Chain of Mother-Daughter Abandonment by Linda Joy Myers. Her compelling life story is written as a series of vignettes that reveal a multi-generational pattern of abandonment and eventual healing. Myers, a marriage and family therapist, writes in the voice of the first person speaking in the present tense. If you are writing, or interested in writing, your memoir, consult this book to understand the dramatic impact on the reader of this voice and tense combination. From the author's perspective, Myers says the choice "forced me to integrate the self that I was with the witness I have become." You'll also notice the importance of trains in her life, representing separations and reunions, new ventures and returning home. If you are working on your memoir, consider if there has been a thread running through your life that could be woven into your memoir. Myers, also an artist, creates vitality and vividness in the people and places she shares with us through the use of color descriptors. What passions do you have - gardening, sports, cooking, art, music - that might enhance the telling of your story?

I strongly recommend this book as a "good read" if you struggle with the mother-daughter relationship in your life. I also highly recommend this book for the insights it offers into writing your memoir.

This was not quite what I thought it was but it was enjoyable, if that is the appropriate term for a book that causes one to cry or reflect on familial relationships. I have been surprised to learn how many women end up in circumstances in which they have effectively, if not actually, been abandoned by their mothers. I gave a copy to my daughter and loaned mine to a friend who I learned had been placed for adoption because her mother didn't want more children.

When someone tells the truth about their life, it can inspire us to be more bold about facing the stories buried in our own past. Linda bravely reveals the heartbreaking moments of a little girl who kept her hope alive even though love arrived only on rare occasions. But when it did, it was warm and meaningful. The shared featherbed, the rose garden, and the baked pies remain symbols to me of how we can be nourised even in the midst of our painful circumstances.

Whether or not you were abandoned as a child or have mental illness in your family, you will find insight and inspiration in this well-crafted memoir. Therapist Linda Joy Meyers' story is ultimately one of healing and forgiveness, and her journey to wholeness can help fuel your own. The language is rich and layered, the characters compelling. Don't miss this great read!

Don't Call Me Mother: Breaking the Chain of Mother-Daughter Abandonment is a poignant story on several different levels. It's such a compelling memoir, you have to keep reminding yourself that it isn't fiction. The raw emotions and the bare truth of the story pull you into a drama that no child should experience. It's a testimonial to Linda Joy's strength of character that she could survive such an experience let alone re-live it again to tell her story.

Her prose is so poetic, at times you think you're reading poetry. In addition to being a fine author, Linda Joy is a therapist illuminating the spiritual growth that comes from compassion, forgiveness, perseverance, and the courage that can be born of such a tragic childhood.

The driving force behind the book is the hope that the chain of abandonment cycling through the generations can finally be broken. Don't Call Me Mother should be read by anyone who has experienced abandonment, divorce, or living with mental illness; however, the book stands on its own as an unforgettable story.

I had the privilige of hearing Ms Myers speak recently and was touched by her incredible empathy and understanding for people who have suffered abandonment and abuse in their childhood. Though the memoir genre is overpopulated by stories of Hollywood stars and the like, regaling us with their secrets, Ms Myers' account of three generations of mother-daughter abandonment and her quest to heal the rupture in her family reads more like a lyrical and sensitive novel than a true-life story. Poetic and evocative in its depiction of Ms Myers' incarnations as a child struggling to withstand the tempestous damage of mental illness; a young woman seeking the truth buried amidst family secrets; and of a strong-willed mother and grandmother fighting to reshape the future out of the past, this is a book that touches all of us, whether or not we have suffered the same. Healing and powerful in its message while never being self-indulgent, "Don't Call Me Mother" is a testament to the resiliency and courage of those who seek to make peace with themselves and discover truth through their losses.

I purchased this book after serching for resources on mother - daughter abandonment. I was researching this subject to see if others has experiences such as mine. By reading this book I have come to understand it and grow. It made me feel as though I was not alone in my childhood experiences. I would highly recommened this book to anyone!!!

I am a fan of memoirs and a picky reader. Don't Call Me Mother is a well-written and poignant story-another book that I couldn't put down. If you liked Pelzer, you'll like Myers. If you study family dynamics, womens' issues, psychology, and sociology, you'll get something from the book. When one reads about survivors of abuse, no matter how cliche that may sound, the determination of the human spirit always shines through. Nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Children end up having to make sense out of the often crazy adult world when they are not given the tools to do so. This is a tribute to a determined child who blossoms into an adult, a woman of accomplishment and sensitivity. It also a tribute to a caring teacher - in this case, a music teacher and violinist, who sparks the imagination and devotion of Myers and her peers. One teacher, one loving person can alter the course of a child's life. The book is also a tribute to supportive relatives, Iowa farm families who are the saving grace in the piercing story of a neglected child. I'm so glad Myers took the time to share the story of her life.