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Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go Paperback – November 17, 1999

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Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go + How to Break Your Addiction to a Person + Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"[Don't Call That Man!] offers many useful ways to handle separation, grief and rage; and casts such a revealing light on the tendency to pursue the one who has left you that it is impossible to continue begging and arguing for what will not be given." -- Elan Golomb, Ph.D., author of Trapped in the Mirror

From the Author

I'm very happy that my book Don't Call that Man!A Survival Guide To Letting Go has given me the opportunity to help so many women let go of relationships that are not healthy for them. Since Don't Call that Man! has been published I have written other books and created and an App to support women in their journey : Don't Text That Man! A Guide To Self Protective Dating In the Age of Technology, The Commitment Cure: What To Do When You Fall For an Ambivalent Man, The Dating Cure, Portrait of My DesireA Jewish-American Princess Dethroned, the Don't Text That Man! Journal and the Don't Text That Man "App".
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 134 pages
  • Publisher: Hachette Books (November 17, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0786884274
  • ISBN-13: 978-0786884278
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.4 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (126 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #247,278 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

91 of 97 people found the following review helpful By donns on September 19, 2003
Format: Paperback
this was by far the best book i ever read when it comes to
jerky men, i dated a man for a year and a half and he was the
most wonderful person i had ever met. he couldnt do enough for me
and would spend money on me like it was nothing. afte a year he
changed drastically, he wanted no commitment (even thou after our
second date he wanted an exclusive relationship) he began to become more distant with no explanation. i would try to talk to
him and ask him what was going on and he would never really say
anything, then the phone calls stopped. i emailed him and he would never answer them, i purchased the book and read it all in
an hour and i went 6 weeks without calling him, i did have a setback after that and called him to see if he was dead or alive.
he was civil but thats about it. i didnt ask any personal questions nor did i ask him if he had a girlfriend. i basically
just wanted to hear his voice and since i did always care for him
i wanted to make sure he was ok even thou he apparently didnt care if i was dead or alive. i know now that i will not call that
man again, and this book will help me to not do that. i have started dating again even thou its hard only becauses i feel like
there was unfinished business with my ex, but i know that most
men dont know what closure is and there way is to just disappear.
i recommend this book for anyone going thru the same thing as i
did, thanks alot for your wise advice when dealing with a jerk.
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64 of 68 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 14, 2002
Format: Paperback
I was married and hopelessly obssessing over someone else (in retrospect to avoid the problems in my marriage), when I bought this book. The book was very powerful, every word rang true for me, and I began to see my insane, self destructive behavior, wasting my time obsessing over this inappropriate situation. The object of my obsession was a cruel, ambivilent man, who strung me along like a yoyo. We were never even intimate, and I never was unfaithful to my husband. That we never even had a relationship was one of the many reasons why my preoccupation was so insane. I saw from doing the work in the book that my obsession stemmed not from wanting this particular man, but from all the rejection and abandonment issues that he triggered. Finally, I was free from the obsession two months sfter doing the work in the book. Sadly, my marriage ended, but had I not stopped focusing on this outside person, I never would have gotten to take an honest, hard look at my own unhappy situation and make a decision based on reality, not an obsessive fantasy. I recommend this to anyone desperate to pick up the phone, or pursue contact with someone who is clearly not availiable to them.
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57 of 64 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 14, 2000
Format: Paperback
This book will save you when you feel like you are going insane. The suggestions about what to do when you feel like calling HIM are fantastic. The description of the ambivilent man fits most of the men I've dated to a tee. I've vowed not ever to date another on of these men again. Also, the exercises in the book help you discover why you have this need to degrade yourself by letting him make you feel like dirt.
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37 of 43 people found the following review helpful By "peince" on June 27, 2002
Format: Paperback
Believe it or not after my boyfriend dumped me I bought most of the books concerning breakups and sad feelings.This was by far the best!When my boyfriend left me I acted kind of crazy calling him 20 times in half an hour that day!After a few days I felt so humiliated that I wanted to call him back and prove him I am not a hysterical girl. This book had all the answers to my problems.
It stopped me from calling him for one more time and it stopped me from being humiliated for once again. I also wanted to make a closure and call him for the last time so we could talk calmly and so we could separate with friendly feelings.Big mistake!Rhonda made me realise that the only closure you should make when s/b breaks up with you is with yourself.
Now after reading it some times when I have the urge to call him I just look at the cover and all I've learned comes to my mind. After a couple of minutes I feel ok! Read this book again and again cause every time you'll love it and appreciate it even more!
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106 of 133 people found the following review helpful By Jazzy on March 20, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was a wreck! And this was NOT the time to start reading books about my inner child and reaching "The Attic"(sorry Vanzant fans). I needed clear cut advice. I couldn't even clean my house, let alone deal with the abstract that other books would have you do. This book gets to the point in easy to understand english of why you should let go. I'm still working through my pain, and I find myself rereading certain passages. But I have bought almost every break up book out there(if you don't believe me, try pulling up my file on amazon.com!) This book was one of the most helpful, along with Cosmo's book. You won't regret this purchase, it has really helped me!
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72 of 90 people found the following review helpful By G.D.V on December 27, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I, like the previous reviewer, am a gay male who just got out of a relationship with an extremly ambivalent man. Haha, ambivalent has become my new favorite word! We met about six months ago at a really low point in my life. I was having financial difficulty, dealing with extreme anxiety and panic attacks, my dad found out he had cancer and I had become really agoraphobic. He pursued me through a mutual friend, and before you know it we began talking and dating. He knew everything I was going through, I was really up front and honest about my situation when we met, and he seemed to be really understanding and supportive. So as things in my life gradually started getting better, I had more time for the relationship and started falling madly in love with him. I didn't realize how much of an obsession it had become until he finally left me a few weeks ago. He seemed perfect, attractive, good career, money, the long-term relationship type. He always talked about how he felt like I was the one, and this was his first "real" relationship. He would tell me he'd buy us a house and he'd help me out of debt and we'd travel and just enjoy life together. Well of course this is what I've always wanted to hear being that my past two relationships were with broke, jobless, carless losers. But towards the end right after Thanksgiving, he started acting very distant and different. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn't give me a clear cut answer. Me being the type of guy that I am, I can't stand feeling left in the dark and demanded to know NOW what was going on before we went any further. Well needless to say, after two days of ignoring me and not returning my calls, he finally picked up and the first words out of his mouth were, "It's over".Read more ›
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Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go
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