Customer Reviews

Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go

5 star:		(56)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(11)

 

 

this was by far the best book i ever read when it comes to
jerky men, i dated a man for a year and a half and he was the
most wonderful person i had ever met. he couldnt do enough for me
and would spend money on me like it was nothing. afte a year he
changed drastically, he wanted no commitment (even thou after our
second date he wanted an exclusive relationship) he began to become more distant with no explanation. i would try to talk to
him and ask him what was going on and he would never really say
anything, then the phone calls stopped. i emailed him and he would never answer them, i purchased the book and read it all in
an hour and i went 6 weeks without calling him, i did have a setback after that and called him to see if he was dead or alive.
he was civil but thats about it. i didnt ask any personal questions nor did i ask him if he had a girlfriend. i basically
just wanted to hear his voice and since i did always care for him
i wanted to make sure he was ok even thou he apparently didnt care if i was dead or alive. i know now that i will not call that
man again, and this book will help me to not do that. i have started dating again even thou its hard only becauses i feel like
there was unfinished business with my ex, but i know that most
men dont know what closure is and there way is to just disappear.
i recommend this book for anyone going thru the same thing as i
did, thanks alot for your wise advice when dealing with a jerk.

I was married and hopelessly obssessing over someone else (in retrospect to avoid the problems in my marriage), when I bought this book. The book was very powerful, every word rang true for me, and I began to see my insane, self destructive behavior, wasting my time obsessing over this inappropriate situation. The object of my obsession was a cruel, ambivilent man, who strung me along like a yoyo. We were never even intimate, and I never was unfaithful to my husband. That we never even had a relationship was one of the many reasons why my preoccupation was so insane. I saw from doing the work in the book that my obsession stemmed not from wanting this particular man, but from all the rejection and abandonment issues that he triggered. Finally, I was free from the obsession two months sfter doing the work in the book. Sadly, my marriage ended, but had I not stopped focusing on this outside person, I never would have gotten to take an honest, hard look at my own unhappy situation and make a decision based on reality, not an obsessive fantasy. I recommend this to anyone desperate to pick up the phone, or pursue contact with someone who is clearly not availiable to them.

This book will save you when you feel like you are going insane. The suggestions about what to do when you feel like calling HIM are fantastic. The description of the ambivilent man fits most of the men I've dated to a tee. I've vowed not ever to date another on of these men again. Also, the exercises in the book help you discover why you have this need to degrade yourself by letting him make you feel like dirt.

I loved this book. I highly recommend it to any woman in the grieving process after a breakup. It's extremely to the point, and very concise. It is never preachy or overly spiritual, and has excellent tips for things to do besides obsessing over the ex. Normally I skip the writing exercise portions of books like this one, but these I actually did and found them to be helpful. I immediately felt a lot better about myself and what I'm going through when I finished the book. I re-read it often when I feel the temptation to call my ex.

When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was a wreck! And this was NOT the time to start reading books about my inner child and reaching "The Attic"(sorry Vanzant fans). I needed clear cut advice. I couldn't even clean my house, let alone deal with the abstract that other books would have you do. This book gets to the point in easy to understand english of why you should let go. I'm still working through my pain, and I find myself rereading certain passages. But I have bought almost every break up book out there(if you don't believe me, try pulling up my file on amazon.com!) This book was one of the most helpful, along with Cosmo's book. You won't regret this purchase, it has really helped me!

Believe it or not after my boyfriend dumped me I bought most of the books concerning breakups and sad feelings.This was by far the best!When my boyfriend left me I acted kind of crazy calling him 20 times in half an hour that day!After a few days I felt so humiliated that I wanted to call him back and prove him I am not a hysterical girl. This book had all the answers to my problems.
It stopped me from calling him for one more time and it stopped me from being humiliated for once again. I also wanted to make a closure and call him for the last time so we could talk calmly and so we could separate with friendly feelings.Big mistake!Rhonda made me realise that the only closure you should make when s/b breaks up with you is with yourself.
Now after reading it some times when I have the urge to call him I just look at the cover and all I've learned comes to my mind. After a couple of minutes I feel ok! Read this book again and again cause every time you'll love it and appreciate it even more!

This is a great book to pick up and read when you are going through nail biting withdraws of just wanting to call the guy that just broke your heart. It puts the reality back into perspective and helps you redeem yourself. It puts reality on how you will feel after you have called and he has dumped on you again and what a set back that is. So instead of calling and making a fool out of yourself, pick up this book and read it until the longing goes away.

This helpful guide to breaking up in a healthy way (is there really such a thing?) was just what I needed. The author covered a lot of ground from a psychological standpoint to a practical one. Surprisingly, I found this short guide dealing with a lot of the common things one experiences in a breakup: anger, denial, depression, etc. and defines the range of emotions one goes through in clear terms. Not only are the reasons for these various feelings discussed but the remedy to getting the most out of the breakup as well. You know what they say, "success is the best revenge" and this book is filled with ways that you can come out ahead.

I have friends coping with divorce now who I plan on sending this book to.

I substituted Woman for Man and it worked for me. I was in a relationship with a woman who was emotionally not available. I think Ms Findling should present the book also to men who get attached to women who can't commit. There may be fewer of us out there than women but we do exist. The book helped me get over a wrong relationship so I could move on to find someone who would be available. Like all my friends(both Male and Female) told me I deserve better. Thanks for the book Ms Findling.

The book is as refreshingly straightforward as the title. "Don't Call That Man" is a survival guide for the woman blindsided by feelings of rection triggered by a breakup. Providing solid advice on how to resist the temptation to call him when it seems to be the only way to alleviate the pain, Ms. Findling leads the reader through a series of exercises designed to uncover why a woman may be vulnerable to destructive men and relationships. While she devotes a chapter to recognizing the kind of "ambivalent man" whose seductive/rejective behavior patterns can make a woman crazy wondering what she did wrong, she wastes relatively little time trying to analyze HIM. Instead, she emphasizes the need to look within for self-acceptance. This is NOT a "man-bashing" book, nor does it contain superficial, "treat yourself to a bubble bath and manicure to make yourself feel better, ladies"-type advice - rather, it offers a solid road map to building a strong foundation of self-esteem and self-awareness that is critical to lasting individual happiness and in developing positive, committed relationships.