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I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated Paperback – Bargain Price, February 2, 2010
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-Patton Oswalt, stand-up comedian
"I wish that, like a big sister, I could have taken Julie Klausner aside and advised her against most of the dalliances in this book. On the other hand, her horrible dating experiences are your laugh-out-loud entertainment."
-Rachel Dratch, actress and comedienne (Saturday Night Live)
"Julie Klausner has the perfect comedic voice for a new generation of ladies-brave, self-deprecating, high-larious beyond and brand spanking new. It's one of those books that you take to bed with you, that keeps you up all night, and that makes you laugh so hard in public the next morning that strangers ask you what you're reading. And it makes me so glad I'm not dating."
-Jill Soloway, author of Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants and executive producer of United States of Tara
"Julie Klausner is Helen Girly Brown: hard-working, yet lusty! Romantic and intelligent! But best of all: unapologetic about wanting to be in love. I Don't Care About Your Band has more wit and all of the tsuris of Carrie Bradshaw's Sex and the City, without the pithy bromides."
-Sarah Thyre, author of Dark at the Roots and actress on Strangers with Candy
"All those misplaced orgasms and disappointing hookups with deviants were well worth it. Julie Klausner's memoir is screamingly funny and wiser than a hooker with health insurance. Take it home for a ride!"
-Michael Musto, columnist for The Village Voice and author of La Dolce Musto
"If you think dating can't get any worse, then you haven't read this book. Julie Klausner's hilarious memoir will remind you that the worse the date, the better the story it will eventually make. If nothing else, you'll be comforted by the fact that your date was never arrested for kidnapping."
-Em & Lo, relationship columnists, New York Magazine and authors of Sex: How To Do Everything
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Top Customer Reviews
Which begs the question: so why is she dating such losers?
Disclaimer: I don't know Klausner the person, probably never will. I'd very much like her to be awesome -- there should be more awesome people in the world.
But Julie-as-portrayed-in-a-book-written-by-Julie-Klausner did not impress me.
The book is a series of essays, loosely connected in that they all address Klausner's sexual life/romantic life/theories on men. I found some more interesting than others; usually where she left the personal and examined cultural icons like Kermit and Piggy or Jim and Pam (from The Office US) to see if she could suss out a relationship zeitgeist. The essays about specific hookups had a depressing sameness to them: Girl meets Guy. Girl deducts Guy is not on her level, but Girl is single, so why not. Girl has sex with Guy, hopes that this will improve the relationship. Eventually, a)Guy dumps Girl or b)Girl decides relationship is not improving, dumps Guy.
Klausner isn't dull, don't get me wrong, and sometimes she delivers killer black humor. But she is incredibly frustrating as a memoirist, because "I Don't Care About Your Band" reads like an extended version of that joke about the terrible food served in too-small portions. Although she tries to persuade us her escapades are rooted in romantic optimism and the belief that, some day, she'll meet someone who deserves her, she doesn't actually like any of these guys. With few exceptions, none of her hookups are all that captivating: they're not as funny as she is, not as mature, not as intelligent, not as attractive, not as generous in bed, not as thin, not as sane, not as sophisticated, not as talented.Read more ›
Near the end of her book, she says it is not her intention to make people feel bad. She wants people to read this book and feel good. However, I am not sure how this could be possible unless she only expects carbon-copies of herself to read it. Her judgments don't come across as funny; they come across as close-minded and ignorant. She is severely lacking in self-awareness and seems to expect men to be able to read her mind. Instead of outrightly telling a man that she does not want him around, she pouts and ignores him until he leaves. The only part of the book that showed personal growth was when she opted not to have an affair with a married man and actually stuck to her decision (unlike with other relationships, when she would say "no" but then go ahead with sex anyway).
Klausner treats sex like it is something that happens to her, instead of something she takes part in. When she describes herself, it's as an aggressive person, but when she describes her situations, she clearly is expecting men to do everything and to read her mind about her desires. Her poor communication with other people, and about herself, comes across louder than anything else she tries to say.Read more ›
I had heard it was a must-read for any woman who's ever been single in NY. Um....no. What I took away from this is that Julie Klausner is a deeply insecure woman with major self-esteem issues who made terrible choices because she was so desperate to be "loved".
I had heard it was funny. I think the potential was there but the author tries SO hard to show us how hilarious she is that she ends up tripping all over herself to create a wordy mess. Editor?
I had heard it was clever. Guess that depends on your definition of clever. I suppose if you feel it's clever to beat your reader over the head with arcane pop culture references or trot out the over-played gay best-friend character (with predictable smugness) you'll think this is clever.
Ugh. When I finished this book (and that in itself was a feat as I was tempted to hurl it under a subway on more than one occasion) I felt vaguely disgusted and sad. Women of the world: you are better than this.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This was one that I had heard good things about a few years back, came upon a copy while I was used-book shopping so I thought I would finally try it out. Read morePublished 12 months ago by EpicFehlReader
This book was hilarious, relatable and over all a great read. I have 9 more words to go...*insert your mom joke*Published 12 months ago by Andra Cojocaru
I know Julie Klausner from her snarky recaps of Bravo tv shows on NY Mag. Never before have I read a book so steeped in humor, so well-written, and so relatable. Thank you, Julie.Published 12 months ago by Clare Fitzgerald
Before I knew to avoid Brilliance Audio Publications I made this purchase.
I'm not a book critic. Read more
Hilarious! Be prepared to look like the crazy person laughing out loud to yourself, though.Published 13 months ago by gina
Some hilarious tales of failed dating situations. Super easy and quick read. Sex and the city meets upright citizens brigade improv.Published 14 months ago by Hannah Rable
I'm a latecomer to Julie's work but am now a huge fan. I thought this was a heartwarming, hilarious, raunchy, and relatable book.Published 15 months ago by Women B. Shoppin