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Don't Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw: Resolving Family Conflict Perfect Paperback – October 10, 2011

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Roger Frame, Ph.D. is The Conflict Whisperer. As the President of Frameworks 4 Learning, LLC, he consults and conducts workshops across the United States on interpersonal conflict management, power struggles and behavior management issues. His clients include businesses, professional associations, governmental agencies, training companies, hospitals, universities, churches and school systems. Roger was one of the first individuals certified by the Florida Supreme Court as a Family Mediator and is a past President of the Florida Society of Psychotherapists. He has a broad range of experience working extensively with families and professionals in the schools, in private practice, and as a trainer and sales representative for The Psychological Corporation and Harcourt Assessment. Thousands of mental health professionals and educators have experienced his quick humor and insightful techniques in highly interactive training workshops. Dr. Frame is currently licensed as both a Licensed Professional Counselor, and a School Psychologist in Colorado. He received his Ph.D. from Michigan State University, his M.A. from Western Michigan University, and his B.A. from Denison University.
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Product Details

  • Perfect Paperback: 220 pages
  • Publisher: PineStar Publishing; 1st edition (October 10, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0983751838
  • ISBN-13: 978-0983751830
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 6 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #402,870 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Roger Frame (1949-present) was born and raised in East Lansing, MI. When he was 9 years old his family travelled throughout Europe for six months. The summer after he graduated from high school was spent working on the glaciers with the Juneau Icefield Research Project. All but one of the glaciers were receding even then. He received his B.S. in psychology from Denison U., his M.S. in Clinical Psychology from Western Michigan U., and his Ph.D. in School Psychology with an emphasis on organizational development from Michigan State U. As President of his college chapter of Alpha Phi Omega he quadrupled active membership by creating an affiliated program for women.

At the beginning of his career, he worked for a mental health center in Cadillac, MI. He has also worked as a school psychologist in Naples, FL, Denver, CO, and Douglas County CO, In Naples he worked with some of the wealthiest families in the US one day, and migrant families on the next.

As a Visiting Assistant Professor at Southern Illinois University, he directed a child abuse and neglect treatment and prevention program. This project successfully prevented subsequent abuse or neglect by 93% of the referred families. These were not "bad" people, they were people under stress who didn't have the skills to approach their children more effectively.

In Gainesville, FL, Dr Frame also provided mental health counseling services in private practice As President of the Florida Society of Psychotherapists he doubled active participation. He has presented hundreds of workshops across the United States for The Psychological Corporation, Harcourt Assessment and in his current position as author, and consultant with Frameworks 4 Learning, and PineStar Publishing.

His book, Don't Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw: Resolving Family Conflict, was developed to help families resolve conflict in a manner that would draw them closer together rather than tear them apart. Just as a few inches on the continental divide can determine whether a drop of water flows east or west, minor differences in communication style can generate radically different results.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Judith Briles on October 24, 2011
Format: Perfect Paperback
Families are dynamic, amazing and sometimes a pain in the rear. Whether it's money issues, kids issues, spouse issues or any of the other everyday living issues that can add a little friction to the homefront, Dr. Roger Frame has created an excellent guide to identify and resolve them. Throughout are useful scripts and scenarios that offer solutions that all families--with or without kids--can use to restore and/or create harmony with their family members. The layout, callouts and the use the The Conflict Whisperer's wise words throughout will make Don't Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw a must have.

Judith Briles
author of Money smarts for turbulent Times and Show Me About Book Publishing
Show Me About Book Publishing: Survive and Thrive in Today's Literary JungleMoney Smarts for Turbulent Times
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Roger Dorris on April 9, 2012
Format: Perfect Paperback
If you're like me, conflict avoidance is your default setting. But sooner or later, conflict will rear its ugly head, and we owe ourselves---and those with whom we interact---to be prepared with effective strategies for resolving it. Dr. Frame's book, Don't Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw is very good at outlining practical pathways for dealing with difficult relationships. While two peoples' positions may be diametrically opposed, Dr. Frame demonstrates how to identify the underlying interests behind those positions in order to create win/win solutions. I was particularly impressed with his insights on forgiveness and why taking the right steps toward forgiveness can liberate and energize you as much as the perpetrator. Though the book's emphasis is on family relationships, the principles apply broadly.
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If you have a spouse, family, or friends with whom you sometimes have had difficult conflicts that hurt, you need to read this book. This is an entertaining and instructive approach to resolving conflict. It is full of familiar of dialogue that may have seemed right at the time but clearly inflamed the conflict. It also illustrates dialogue that works to improve communication and conflict resolution. The real life and humorous approach to conflict makes this book enjoyable to read. Behind this series of humerous narratives is a methodic progression of insightful recommendations. The author counsels that arguments arise from perceived grievances that may be fair or not but need to be addressed. He illustrates different styles of conflict resolution. You are encouraged to get to the central issue by asking questions that recognize that you want to understand the other person's concerns. He shows you how to create an environment that fosters problem resolution. Then there are chapters to help you with people who are particularly challenging: teenagers, stubborn people and mothers-in-law. As I was reading and enjoying the book I kept looking for the author to tell me how to get my conflict partners to read the book so we could both be reducing conflict. Then I came to the last chapter that acknowledges that adopting this new way of interacting is challenging but it can be taken on bit by bit. Over time your conflict partners may notice that you are really trying to help resolve the conflict. Your reward may be that you work together to solve problems. That is probably the time to give them a copy of the book to read and incorporate at their own pace. This book could change your life. Come to think of it, beyond the issue of family conflict, this book could improve the interactions of the US Congress. Your first step is to read the book. Have fun.
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By KFB on June 21, 2012
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Family conflict resolution is such a broad, difficult, and complicated topic that some would say it may be impossible to do it justice in a single volume. However, by relating major conflict resolution concepts to everyday experiences - from carving the turkey at Thanksgiving to fly fishing to playing poker - Don't Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw places an impressively large set of solid lessons well within the grasp of the general reader. Moreover, thanks to Dr. Frame's humorous titles and reader-friendly writing style, most readers won't even realize how much they're learning.

Comparable to an introductory course in conflict resolution, this book presents an overview of the nature of conflict, discusses a model of the five ways to resolve conflict, provides enlightened communication skills and strategies, explains the importance of safety and how to establish it during the conflict resolution process, teaches techniques for engendering collaborative problem solving, and offers an understanding of the types of power and the dynamics of persuasion. In subsequent chapters, the reader learns about specific types of conflict, such as conflict involving teens or especially stubborn people. This part of the book features numerous dialogues and many good questions that bring the complexities of conflict resolution to light while offering enough basic guidance to shepherd the reader in positive directions.

Don't Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw is relatable, informative, and interesting to anyone who wants healthier family relationships. After reading it, you might want to recommend this book to other members of your family - but be sure to keep a copy for yourself so that you can review portions of it from time to time as new family dynamics arise.
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