Don't Divorce Your Children : Protecting Their Rights and Your Happiness [Paperback]

William A.H. Sammons MD (Author), Jennifer M. Lewis MD (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 11, 1999

Millions of American children are living with divorced or separated parents. Those who maintain a close relationship with both mother and father--despite the potential conflicts involved-stand the best chance of maturing into healthy, well-adjusted adults. In "Don't Divorce Your Children," Dr. Jenny Lewis and Dr. Bill Sammons offer advice on how to prevent the painful physical and emotional distancing that so often occurs between divorced parents and their children. Appreciating how your children's experiences are different from your own is the key to successfully guiding them through this crisis. "Don't Divorce Your Children" offers diary entries from both parents and children to illustrate that understanding your child's point of view is an essential step in dealing with divorce. Whether you are the residential or non-residential parent, recently separated or long-divorced, or the parent of a toddler or a teen, this book will help you: Look at your divorce through your child's eyes Listen to your child's point of view Learn to create solutions that really work--together! The unique blend of real-life stories and expert advice makes "Don't Divorce Your Children" an invaluable tool, not only for parents but for anyone who has the best interests of children at heart. "With a refreshing lack of rigidity and an abundance of practical, smart advice, Doctors Lewis and Sammons have delivered what the piles of other divorce books haven't: insight into how children really approach the breakup of the family and strategies for making the process not only easier on everyone but healthier, too." -- Marianne Szegedy-Maszak, single parenting columnist MSNBC.com "I give it my unqualified endorsement.It is chock-full of useful information to help parents minimize the damage of divorce on their children." -- David M. Kaplan, PhD, President International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors Jenny Lewis and Bill Sammons are pediatricians practicing in Boston, Massachusetts. For twenty years they have offered their parents a unique combination of medical expertise and the tools to help families work together to find solutions to the everyday problems of life.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Sammons and Lewis, both pediatricians, explore answers to a wide variety of questions and concerns of parents and children facing divorce. Using a format of diary entries from a parent and a child (fictional material drawn from the authors' wide experience) and subsequent analysis, the authors look at such issues as telling children about an impending divorce, dealing with visitation, helping children adjust to changes a divorce may bring (such as moving and birthday celebrations), and the special problems of adolescents. Each chapter of this easy-to-read book is self-contained allowing the reader to go back and use sections that pertain to specific situations. Although the tone is upbeat and positive, the authors stress the need for both parents to stay involved in the lives of their children. Recommended for public libraries.AKay L. Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Publisher

For many parents whose marriages end in divorce, the biggest concern is the effect it will have on their children. During these confusing and emotional times, it is often difficult for parents to understand what their children are feeling and why they act the way they do. Jennifer Lewis, M.D. and William Sammons, M.D. bring twenty years of experience with families of divorce to this book. Their goal is to enable children to have a lasting and healthy relationship with both parents and enable them to mature into healthy, well-adjusted adults.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies (July 11, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0809227932
• ISBN-13: 978-0809227938
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #825,703 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Filled with wise insights, I'd give it five purple stars!, March 6, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Don't Divorce Your Children : Protecting Their Rights and Your Happiness (Paperback)

Don't Divorce Your Children honors the children of divorce and offers practical ideas on how to handle real life challenges. It describes anecdotal situations in a diary format and discusses how to handle them so that the relationship between parents and children are strengthened. The chapters are in an easy to read format that allows you to zero in on a situation that matches your own.

As a step-mother, this has been a very helpful guide to me when confronted with the negativity and unhappiness of my husband's ex-wife and how her manipulative behaviors effect the children and add stress to the transition between her home and ours. It helps me to be supportive of the children and of my husband at the same time.

The book is filled with wise insights, comfort, and good counsel. It has been a lifesavor through the journey as the children have grown older and established their own identities. While their parents have been divorced for 8 years and the children are now young teens, each stage has taken on a new nuance, and this book has helped my husband and me to maintain a sense of humor and connectedness as a family.

It sometimes takes a lot of emotional energy on the part of parents and children to work through these solutions, and this guide has given us permission to remain firm in being actively involved in the children's lives (even if their mother wishes we would move to another planet.)

A consistent and helpful approach is provided no matter what age your children are or whether your divorce is new or long-standing. This is a book worth buying and reading again and again as you encounter new and different situations.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars good common sense for parents, takes on tough issues, October 5, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Don't Divorce Your Children : Protecting Their Rights and Your Happiness (Paperback)

Just like your divorce, you probably won't like everything in this book, because no matter who you are, you can't help using the kids somehow to act out your own issues with your soon to be ex. This book really takes on the specific issues that effect children, so if you are serious about wanting to spare them long lasting problems as much as possible, read this book and pay attention to what it says.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Empowering both parents and children, March 4, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Don't Divorce Your Children : Protecting Their Rights and Your Happiness (Paperback)

Children don't share our perspectives. Developmentally they have very different needs than the adults in their lives. Divorce can rock even the firmest foundation we have given them. This book gives parents the ablility to seek simple solutions from different perspectives. Answers that were easy, can get more complicated with divorce and it is refreshing to find solutions that use common sense, and place not winning or losing but succeeding as the goal, The authors, understand both children and parent needs, and the importance of building good relationships for all involved. I highly recommend this book, I have had opportunities to put the authors' guidelines to use and they work - for both parents and children, empowering all involved.