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Don't Eat Cat (Kindle Single) [Kindle Edition]

Jess Walter
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)

Digital List Price: $0.99 What's this?
Kindle Price: $0.99 includes free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet

Kindle Singles
Kindle Singles
Each Kindle Single presents a compelling idea--well researched, well argued, and well illustrated--expressed at its natural length. Visit the Kindle Singles Store or subscribe to Singled Out: The Best of Kindle Singles.

Book Description

In this brilliantly entertaining send-up of zombie lit, Edgar Award winner and National Book Award finalist Jess Walter offers a twist on America’s favorite monster: You don’t have to be dead to be a zombie. Walter creates a postapocalyptic nightmare that is as sidesplitting as it is moving—and all the more damning because it’s so recognizable.

Set in the year 2040, amid rolling epidemics, economic collapses, ozone tumors, genetic piracy, and an Arizona border war, “Don’t Eat Cat” is the story of Owen, a guy who just wants to forget the results of his recent full-body scan with a grande soy latte before going to work in Seattle’s food/finance district. The world has gone straight to hell, and the most horrifying part of it is that not a damn thing has changed: You still have to go to work, you still don’t have a girlfriend, and, unbelievably, the line at the Starbucks Financial still stretches on forever. Why? Because there’s a zombie working behind the counter, an addict of a club drug that causes its users to become aggressive, milk-pale, dead-eyed dimwits with an appetite for rodents and house pets—cats in particular (and, in very, very rare cases, humans).

When Owen finally makes it to the head of the line, the afflicted barista’s people skills falter under pressure and he mauls the store manager. It’s the first documented zombie attack in months, and it sets the sim-tweets buzzing, ultimately ending in a vigilante killing. As for Owen, he gets more than a free latte out of the incident: He’s forced to confront the brokenness of his present life by venturing into the past. With the help of a private investigator, he heads into Seattle’s Zombie Town to search for the only woman he has ever loved.

In “Don’t Eat Cat,” some highs are better than a lifetime of being human.

. . .

Jess Walter is the author of “Citizen Vince,” “The Zero,” “The Financial Lives of the Poets,” and the forthcoming “Beautiful Ruins,” which will be published by HarperCollins in June. Praised by the “New York Times” as “a ridiculously talented writer,” he has won the Edgar Award for mystery writing and been named a finalist for the National Book Award. A former journalist, Walter lives with his family in Spokane, Washington. “Don’t Eat Cat” is his first zombie story.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In the imagination of Jess Walter, mid-21st-century Seattle has a serious drug problem. Don't Eat Cat depicts the Emerald City circa 2040, where a veritable plague of shambling, needle-wielding, translucent quasi-humans feasts on pets and supports its other habits by engaging in the world's notoriously oldest profession. In many cases, they've even willfully chosen their grotesque fate. Degenerate life is so pervasive that Walters's narrator laments, "Maybe it's always the end of the world... you realize you're going to die... you look around for answers and the only answer is that the world must die with you." Surprising twists await fans of the zombie genre who think they've read it all before (spoilers withheld), not least the tender, even heart-breaking love story of a narrator whose own broken past is inextricably embroiled in the epidemic. --Jason Kirk

From AudioFile


Product Details

  • File Size: 144 KB
  • Print Length: 22 pages
  • Publisher: Byliner Inc. (March 28, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B007PUMZ7O
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #38,502 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Eat Cat? Do Read That April 3, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
The insightful and hilarious Jess Walter serves up a unique take on everyone's favorite flesh-eater in one of the most creative pieces of horror-tinged fiction since the original Dawn of the Dead. Not content to merely cash in on a popular meme, this story reimagines the zombie apocalypse as the inevitable outcome of our flagging hopes and obsession with self-medication, and paints a picture of a world not far removed from our own in which turning yourself into a mindless, ravenous creature of the night seems like the only viable alternative to rapidly eroding freedom and super skin cancer. In other words, it's brilliantly written, truly funny satire that will definitely make you think, and uses the whole "humans still being crappy to each other in a world infested with the undead" trope about a million times more effectively than any heavy-handed, sappily melodramatic episode of The Walking Dead or the like could ever dream. A must-read for zombie fans looking to sink their teeth into something with a little more meat to it.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Damned funny and smart April 4, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This guy is damned funny and smart. I got turned on to Walter by my daughter. She bought me Citizen Vince and his Financial Lives of the Poets, both very different. Guy's versatile, never boring, and in this little gem of a story, he provides a full meal -- originality, plot, satire, really acute observations about modern life and mortality. I laughed out loud at the beginning -- a zombie taking your order at Starbucks. I read it to my wife (who drinks Starbucks), and she got a charge out of it, too. It gets darker as it goes but also more moving, human. I'm not much into the zombie craze, but Walter's zombies feel pretty plausible and pretty familiar. Great addition to these Singles offerings.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great quick read! Funny and quite touching April 6, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
My very first Kindle single and I have to say it was a lot of fun and conversely very touching. I picked it up because a quick read about zombies in the none too distant future (caused by a sound medical condition)seemed implausible at best and seriously funny as well. The fact that the zombies (you aren't supposed to call them that!) work at Starbucks, just made it all that more laughable.

Strangely, it became a very thoughtful and touching book in a way you really never see coming.

It is truly a short story and written with slightness of prose and quick wit. It also had a lot to say about corporitazation of the world, and whether the future is really all that different from the past.

It is not a novel so don't expect the world here, but it was definitely fun and got me interested in reading further work from this author.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Dissapointed.
I did not realize that this was simply a short story. I would have loved for it to have been a whole book. Good story though.
Published 13 days ago by Jessica S.
5.0 out of 5 stars Jesse Walter is awesome
Funny, quirky, and profound. All the things I love about his writing. Read it and appreciate Walter. Then read everything else he has written!
Published 28 days ago by Ina Ranel Hanson
4.0 out of 5 stars Zombies Scare Me!
I love reading Jess Walter stuff. He's very good. This is a terrific story and I would label it dark humor. By the end I felt empathy for all the characters. Read more
Published 1 month ago by David
5.0 out of 5 stars For Zombie Lover's Everyone (yes, I know we're not supposed to call...
Top notch story telling. If you want a metaphor for how your life is, or could be if you don't challenge yourself, but instead, just want a bit more comfort, as you ease into... Read more
Published 2 months ago by J2Moosehead
3.0 out of 5 stars Cute and clever
Very quick read. Well worth the price. It's a fun and clever zombie story. It's short but it's a nice story
Published 2 months ago by Shawn Holman
4.0 out of 5 stars Catchy Title
I was looking for entertainment on my train ride from syracuse to nyc. i was curious and found the book refreshing. i read "doomsday" books so this a different take.
Published 2 months ago by kathystrader
1.0 out of 5 stars DIDN'T LIKE THIS BOOK AT ALL.!
i didn't care for this book at all. i could only get a few pages in to it, and was disappointed! it is creepy and about zombies, or it gives the impression it is about zombies. Read more
Published 3 months ago by movie buff
1.0 out of 5 stars awful book
The preview made it sound a lot better then it was. The ending was terrible and a waste of my time
Published 3 months ago by Christina E. Olinghouse
4.0 out of 5 stars Pretty short read but makes the point
I always like a quick read and found exactly that with this book. I like the use of forward thinking into our future and how some of the implausible ideas could be actually seen... Read more
Published 3 months ago by HarleyJules
3.0 out of 5 stars Dont eat cat
Short story, entertaining.

13 more words required 13 more words required 13 more words required 13 more words required 13 more words required
Published 4 months ago by would-be carpenter
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More About the Author

Jess Walter is the author of six novels, most recently the New York Times bestseller Beautiful Ruins (2012). He was a finalist for the 2006 National Book Award for The Zero and winner of the 2005 Edgar Allan Poe Award for best novel for Citizen Vince. His short fiction and essays have appeared in Harper's, McSweeney's, Playboy and other publications. He lives in his hometown of Spokane, Washington.

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