Customer Reviews

Don't Get Scrooged: How to Thrive in a World Full of Obnoxious, Incompetent, Arrogant, and Downright Mean-Spirited People

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Every year holidays get more and more demanding and less and less fun. Richard Carlson has welcome advice for getting through it all a lot happier than we have in the past and a little closer to those warm and fuzzy feelings we expect from this time of year than we usually get. Although there is little in the book that is surprising or new, it is presented in convenient little segments in a wonderfully readable form. The author presents the material using his own experiences and those of others to illustrate his points in each chapter and does so succinctly and with great sense of humor. I found the book a delight and read it from cover to cover in about two hours. I expect to monitor my own behavior and that of others around me and to re-read the appropriate chapters until I manage to succeed in getting through my holidays with a happy disposition. A good resource for everyone any day of the year when we find ourselves rehearsing unpleasant events from our days activities without generating either solutions to problems or a new way of thinking about things.

The title and cover caught my eye in a megabookstore and although I usually read fat novels, not slim self-help books, I figured I'd sit down and dip in. I admit it: I'd been stewing about a confrontation over the holidays. Well, guess what? The advice is friendly and readable and so good that I ended up buying the book and pressing it on family members. There are a few semi-lame chapters, but basically, Carlson helps us let go of crazy nonsense and not let scrooges hijack our brain waves (especially at holiday time). If something is bothering you, he encourages you to think: Okay, I see why this is making me mad. But why is it making me so so so mad? If someone is playing victim, he helps you stop playing rescuer. If someone is acting like a turkey (his word), he helps you get him/her to act like an adult and to disengage. The funny thing is, I *am* an advice columnist myself--since 1994--for Girls' Life Magazine, but even we authors can use peptalks once in a while!
Carol Weston, author of GIRLTALK and FOR GIRLS ONLY and THE DIARY OF MELANIE MARTIN; [...]

its a *small* collection of inspirational stories. Look at the size of the pages; roughly post-card size. And lots of white space. I enjoyed the stories, I'm not criticizing that at all. But even the discount price of $11.53 is too much for this book. So rated on what you pay for what you get, I can only give it 3 stars.

Each chapter gave wonderful strategies for positive life changes. How to go through life with peace and harmony, not only through the holiday season but year-round. So sad that Richard will not be with us to inspire us with another stunning book such as this.

This book is made up of short essays about dealing with difficult people. The first couple of dozen essays validated my feelings, made me feel good, reinforced my beliefs. As the author says, most of us are doing our best to try to be good and kind people. Toward the end of the book, I started to feel a little uncomfortable because I began to see my own behavior sometimes. Finally Dr. Carlton reassured me that none of us is perfect, that we act badly when we feel badly, and that we would all be better off if we cut each other some slack from time to time. That conclusion helped me most of all. I want other people to be understanding and forgiving toward me when I'm stressed out and snap at someone; therefore, I am going to try to give others the benefit of the doubt. There is some good in everyone, even scrooge, and all those who seek that goodness will have happier lives.

So often the "season of peace" feels more like a season of strife, and Carlson is drawing on that perception in this small book of practical helps. Carlson calls difficult people "turkeys" and most of his tips are about the aggravations of daily living, rather than specific to the Christmas season.

"One of the hardest lessons to learn about difficult people is that if they ever do change (and that's a big 'if'), it probably won't be as a result of anything you say or do...The upside is if you stop trying to flip that switch in someone else's brain, you can lose the frustration that is a big part of the scrooged experience." (page 109, @2006 Harper Collins, first edition)

"Most of us want to be kind, considerate, competent, and responsible. But perhaps we want even more to be thought of as kind, considerate, competent, and responsible. The idea of anyone anywhere being mad at, disappointed in, or hurt by us can make us so uncomfortable that we routinely put our own needs and wants last." (page 70)

Most of the advice resonated with me and Carlson draws upon his own experience. But there are only so many admonitions to the higher path that I can bear in one reading so I found myself glossing over bits. (This is my flaw, not Carlson's!) Stick this small volume in a bag or in the car for a quick glance on a chapter by chapter basis.

One word of warning - if you are dealing on a day to day basis with a truly horrible person or situation that involves abuse or addiction, this book probably won't do it for you. But if your life is currently on a more even keel, and the everyday stresses are getting you down, this is a fun read for the validation and to get a perspective that you haven't thought of before.

THE first half of the book was definitively interesting. Oftentimes I thought "I wish had done this.....," but then the stories seemed to repeat themselves. This would have been an absolutely perfect short book! Still, a good read.

I love the title of the book and it pretty much deals with every type of person listed in the title. It's an easy, fun read with lots of good advice, however, much of it is common sense. It did make feel less scrooged after reading it. Though common sense, I think we all need reminders of successful social interactions, regardless of the time of year.

Richard Carlson has a knack for suggesting practical solutions to everyday problem people. There is a suggestion for almost every type of Scrooge you will encounter. Since the holiday season is usually stressful, his suggestions came in quite handy.

A great book to keep the holidays in perspective. Great guidelines in not letting people get the best of you. A great book in freedom from becoming like them!