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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Pass the Pizza Sauce For This Chunk of Cheese
Ah, the great outdoors. Nothing says summer like going camping in the woods; swimming in a lake; accidentally wiping your rear with poison ivy, or being hacked to bits by a guy who looks as if he got lost between here and The Road Warrior set. And that's just for starters.

Welcome to Don't Go In the Woods; one of the funniest slasher flicks to come out of the...
Published 18 months ago by CryWolf854

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars hard to describe
this is a really bad movie but with lots of blood and gore and unintentional laughs. the narrative makes sense and some of the characters make you want to root for them by the end... even though the script/director did precious little to bring the principle characters to life.

if Don't Go In The Woods Alone was from a first time director, i could easily...
Published on March 19, 2009 by Darrick Dishaw


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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Pass the Pizza Sauce For This Chunk of Cheese, January 18, 2013
This review is from: Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! (DVD)
Ah, the great outdoors. Nothing says summer like going camping in the woods; swimming in a lake; accidentally wiping your rear with poison ivy, or being hacked to bits by a guy who looks as if he got lost between here and The Road Warrior set. And that's just for starters.

Welcome to Don't Go In the Woods; one of the funniest slasher flicks to come out of the 80s.

Four of the ugliest campers to ever grace the screen hike into the woods only to discover that they're being hunted by the Mad Max reject. And they are only the central story. You see, about every five minutes or so, when we're not being shown the same establishing shot of the mountain over and over again, we meet new campers just long enough to see them get killed. We see Dale and his whinny moomoo wearing mother, Dick and Cherry, the ugliest newlyweds to date (take one look at Cherry's nose. It'll give the Wicked Witch of the West a run for its money!), a bird watcher who gets killed by a leaf, the sleeping black couple (that's all they do!), a guy in a wheelchair (what's a dude in a wheelchair doing trying to climb a mountain?), and a slew of others. But have no fear! The long arm of the law will keep everyone safe. Well, except the long arm of the law happens to consist of one of the fattest sheriffs in town (if anyone needed to try and climb a mountain, it's this guy!) and the most feminine deputy ever. Seriously, if I had these two looking out for me, I'd take my chances with the killer Captain Caveman.

This movie should've never seen the light of day. It was even on the UK's Video Nasties List. Its like a can a Pringles; once you start you just can't stop. Theres absolutely no character development and no coherent plot. Even the dialogue is off. It's lip flap parade not seen this bad outside of Tokyo during one of Godzilla's many rampages. I don't know why but I strongly recommend this movie to any one needing a good laugh. It's ultra low budget filmmaking at its worst but its a fun ride and its rewatchability factor is through the roof.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Haunting, February 4, 2003
By 
Klaus Reitberger (Kandahar, Afghanistan) - See all my reviews
This is the most fantastic movie I have ever seen. Some scenes are legendary and will always be remembered. We all knwo the ingenious expression on Peter's face when he views Craig's body. We all know the birdman and the whealchair guy. Unforgetable. It is a shame that there is no DVD, but surely it will come soon.
Congratulation to the best actors and the best movie ever. Why the hell didn't it get an oscar? It truely deverseves all of them
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant, September 1, 2008
This review is from: Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! (DVD)
highly recommended for anyone looking for the best of the worst. if you give this film one star its because you dont get the joke. of course its not effective in its attempts! but once you get past that, deep within lies a cinematic classic that will stay with you for the rest of your life. JOIN US!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent in it's badness, June 4, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! (DVD)
It you like horror films that are so bad that you can't help but love them, than DON'T GO IN THE WOODS is the film for you. This film should fall flat on its face, but the comedy (I'm still trying to figure out if it was intentional or not) will keep you chuckling, especially the poor schlub in a wheelchair that spends half the film trying to make it to the top of the trail only to meet a deadly end when he reaches his goal. If you have never seen this film, I suggest that you go in expecting nothing and you will probably have a great time. Very expensive to purchase now since it was the first official film put out by Code Red, who have given us dozens of films we never expected to be released on DVD or Blu-Ray.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars hard to describe, March 19, 2009
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! (DVD)
this is a really bad movie but with lots of blood and gore and unintentional laughs. the narrative makes sense and some of the characters make you want to root for them by the end... even though the script/director did precious little to bring the principle characters to life.

if Don't Go In The Woods Alone was from a first time director, i could easily understand and overlook the film's shortcomings. however, that is not the case. i haven't seen James Bryan's previous films, but i've heard they are good. so what happened here? i honestly don't know.

if you like rough, backwoods exploitation, then it's worth seeing once or twice, but this is not a great film.

D
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars possibly the best of the worst, October 14, 2008
By 
Andrew Myers (Baumholder, Germany) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! (DVD)
If you want to see good acting and good filming with good special effects, dont get this movie. Now if you want a crazy wild man jumping up and down yelling arrrrrrrrr and chopping off limbs (great crappy special effects) with rediculous amounts of blood flying through the air, then this is the movie for you, as it was for me. Enjoy
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars DON'T GO IN THE RENTAL STORE...ALONE!, July 30, 2008
This review is from: Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! (DVD)
The 70s and 80s were a totally different time when it came to motion pictures. There were still drive ins a plenty across the country that were looking for low cost second films or bottom dollar double features. The video business was just starting and movies that played no where suddenly had an outlet. Direct to video features were a staple as many Hollywood hits were waiting to be released. And horror was at an all time high when it came to video.

It seemed as if anyone could make a horror film. Supported by tales of George Romero and the success he landed in 1968 with the ultra low budget NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, homespun and fledgling directors were cutting their teeth on the same genre. Boobs, blood and beasts as drive in critic Joe Bob Briggs used to rate this fare were everywhere. And if a particular movie was a hit, everyone took their cue from that and made replicas.

Take for instance Jason Voorhees of the FRIDAY THE 13TH films. You have kids in an isolated location and voila, you have fodder for your killer. Toss in a little HILLS HAVE EYES twisted dysfunctional family members dressed in skins and you have another group to use. So what if you took a buckskinned dysfunctional killer, placed him in the woods and turned him lose? You'd get the film DON'T GO IN THE WOODS...ALONE!

The story. We begin with two couples (Peter, Ingrid, Craig and Joanie) in the woods for a camping weekend. Craig knows his way around a campground and gives the rest survival tips, albeit not how to fend off a madman attacker. The four frolic through the woods, eventually getting over the grueling task of hauling their backpacks up the mountainous area to their camping destination for the night.

While all this is going on, we are offered glimpses of others who have decided to make this area their retreat for the weekend. Everything from a walker to an overweight photographer who has brought his mother along in her muumuu are seen in the park. And each one is randomly slaughtered by our unseen protagonist who wields his machete like a ginsu knife.

When Peter (who has no clue what being in the wild means) from our original group goes off on his own and gets lost, he comes across this killer in the act and so begins the chase. Which doesn't last long. And while the chase is on, the killer still has time to get in a few other victims.

Members of the original foursome are dispensed with ease but one couple makes it to civilization bruised, bloodied and battered. While Ingrid rests in the hospital and the local law enforcement officials form a posse to search for campers and the killer, Peter heads back up the mountainside on his own feeling guilty about leaving Joanie there so they could escape. Armed with a sharpened stick, he hunts for the killer at the same time the posse does. I expected him to be shot by the posse but no, it doesn't happen. Sorry if I ruined that little bit of suspense for you.

Do they catch the killer? Are the two survivors turned into something primitive they weren't before this weekend? And what about the guy in the wheelchair who is working his way up the mountain paths alone, does he make it? Yes, I am not joking, there is a guy in a wheelchair attempting to go up the wooded paths as well.

The movie is not a great motion picture that will be remembered by millions. It is a fun flick though, filled with everything that made these sort of movies stand out on the shelf (along with big boxes to hold the videos). The blood runs free and the killer is menacing enough, especially with great dialogue like "aaarrrrggghhhhh!!!!!"

Face it, this movie is not about classic film structure or Oscar material. What it is is a fun time at the movies. It is a low budget horror film that director James Bryan and friends made in 1981 and shot in Utah of all places. Code Red is releasing it now in their line of films that have taken these somewhat lost "treasures" and given them a proper DVD treatment. Not only do we get a decent copy of the film, Bryan has gone back to find members of the cast and crew to discuss the filming of the movie.

The extras that have theses interviews are the good/bad part. It's good to see these folks and what happened to them, where they went from here. It's bad in that the footage seems to be shot with an incredibly cheap camera. I've seen better taping done at local high school basketball games. But then again, the whole concept of low budget stays in tone with these interviews.

This film is a full fledged member of the DON'T genre of films (DON'T OPEN THE DOOR, DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE, DON'T GO IN THE BASEMENT, etc.) that were parodied in the recent movie GRINDHOUSE. This movie is a hoot. Not to be taken seriously, but just to be enjoyed like all good drive in flicks, this one delivers the goods.
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4.0 out of 5 stars good slasher flick, May 1, 2006
By 
this isn't an american movie. This movie was dubbed. I think it's a European movie. Better than most non-sequel slasher flicks in the early 80's. This movie was comedic and yet disturbing to watch even though it was heavily edited. This movie has great atmosphere and excellent cinematographry.
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5.0 out of 5 stars don't go in the woods, March 8, 2005
I rented this video when it came out, about middle of 1982, or 1983. It's proubley one of the "B" movies ever made, but "WOW", I thought it was one of the best horror movies of it's time.. A must own movie for one's self, and to watch. Corney at times, but still a powerful horror movie of it's time.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Neep!, April 29, 2014
This review is from: Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! (DVD)
This film took beer, lots of beer to get through. This film does have excellent photography. Girls with mullet haircuts, what were they thinking? I kept mistaking them for boys. My favorite scene was the killer's victory dance after throwing wooden spears. He's the missing Knight who says Neep! This film badly needed scenes of girls running topless through the woods.
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Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone!
Don't Go In The Woods ...Alone! by James Bryan (DVD - 2008)
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