You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way [Paperback]

'Aunt' Laya Saul (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 1, 2007

You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way covers a lot of topics that teens need and want to read about: from sensitive areas like sexual abuse, pain, and hard times, to issues like understanding how to deal with peer pressure and making the right choice about drugs. These are the topics that teens asked Aunt Laya to write about. They also asked for inspiration and ideas about goals, life s changes and sex. Laya Saul does not shy away from any topic that can empower a young adult. She gives teens the tools to meet life s trials head on! Like a favorite aunt, Laya Saul encourages her readers to use challenges as stepping-stones. This comforting and strengthening book reads like a letter written from the heart. Although it was written with teens in mind, the book is finding its way into the hands of readers spanning generations! The wisdom is practical, timeless, and helpful. Each chapter is written in bite-sized portions and packed with ideas, stories, quotes, and questions for introspection. Inspiring, motivating, comforting, and helpful, You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way is sought after by teens and the adults in their lives who want them to succeed. It s a great gift to be tucked under the pillow of your favorite teen, or read together to open discussions or bond. This book has become a beloved reference that the reader can return to over and over.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Filled with powerful insights, You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way guides and motivates in smart and sensitive ways that any reader can benefit from."  --John Gray PhD


"This book is filled with gems and 'A-Ha's!' And it's fun to read! 'Aunt Laya' combines a loving manner, in a non-judging way, with practical advice that will make anyone's life so much easier, and much, much more effective and happy.

"As I came across these gems I kept finding myself thinking that if this book was the only one I had known about when I was younger, I could have (and would have) avoided a lot of pain. 'You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way' should be read by every young adult and his or her friends." Bob Burg, author of Winning Without Intimidation --Bob Burg

When I was growing up, I can honestly say that I don't remember ever hearing about "self-help" books for teens. If they were out there, I simply never heard about them, and no one ever pointed me in their direction. Maybe if I had gotten my hands on a book as well-written as YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY, I would have had a better guideline to base my choices on. Thankfully, this book is available now, and it's a resource that every teen and pre-teen should read. Aunt Laya Saul is never preachy, she doesn't tell you what's right and wrong, she never says you can't make mistakes. Actually, the author is very adamant about that fact that each young adult should make their own decisions, and that you can learn from your mistakes. But as she also points out, there is still something to be learned from the mistakes that have already been made by others. Just as you know that jumping off the Empire State Building would be a bad idea (as shown by those who have tried it), you can realize that doing certain things will only bring you harm by seeing the results they've already had in other people's lives. The book is laid out in four main categories, with many sub-categories in each one.

They are:

Attitude, which includes Believe In Yourself, Everybody Has Something, Trust Your Intuition, Defining Boundaries, Don't Panic, The One Percent Adjustment, What Do You Expect?, It's Your Choice, and Accountability.

Challenges, which includes Failure-Missing The Mark, Handling Regret, Trusting The Hard Times, Pain And Suffering, Alcohol And Drug Abuse: Self-Medication, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, and You Are Never Alone.

You And The World, which includes Reflections On Relationships, Family, Friendship, Communication, Gossip, Be Nice, Feedback, and What You Really Need To Know About Sex.

Gaining Altitude, which includes Because You Are Noble And You Can, Forgiveness, Lend A Hand, You've Got To Stand For Something, Live Your Dreams, Changes, and The Gift of Time.

There is also an introductory letter from the author, a final word, a section on recommended reads and a bibliography, acknowledgments, how to contact the author, and an author biography.

This is a great book that you can give to the teen or pre-teen in your life. Or if you're a young adult looking for a handbook to get through the tough times of adolescence, pick up a copy of YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.  --TeensReadToo.com

Mom's Choice Award 2009 Gold Recipient: Young Adult Self-Improvement

Indie Book Award 2008: Winner in Young Adult Non-Fiction

The National Best Books Award 2008: Finalist in Young Adult Non-Fiction --Award Winning Book

From the Back Cover

"This book teaches how to make your life one of effortless effort. You'll love it!"

Mark Victor Hansen
co-creator, #1 New York Times bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®

I Never Thought of THAT...

Sure, all young people make mistakes. And yes, you should try to learn from them. But does that mean you have to try everything--and make a lot of painful mistakes--before you can say you've learned a thing or two about life? Not according to Aunt Laya. You can learn from other successes and failures of others, make smart choices, and lead an exciting, satisfying life. This book is a great place to start. Listen to Aunt Laya:

"Decide for yourself the kind of life you want. You have to live your own adventure in life, but you don't have to reinvent the wheel."

In You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way, Aunt Laya Saul helps you find--within yourself--the answers to life's most important questions. It's like having a heart-to-heart talk with your favorite aunt, one who understands you, respects you, and wants you to reach high for your dreams.

Aunt Laya shows you how to:

Conquer your doubts--recognize and use your gifts and your strengths
Tap into and trust your intuition to make good choices and avoid danger
Define your boundaries for better, healthier relationships
Open the door to healing places where you hurt
Strengthen yourself with wisdom and information

Got friends or loved ones who could use some support?
Share this book with them! --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Kadima Press; 2nd edition (December 1, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0972322973
• ISBN-13: 978-0972322973
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #164,757 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #41 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Personal Health > Teen Health > Mental Health

More About the Author

Laya Saul has learned way too much the hard way and earned a Master's degree in "Life's Stupid Mistakes." She later went on to earn a Masters degree in Applied Psychology. As a child she dreamed about helping kids. The older she gets, the older the group of people who fall into the "kid" category! In fact, she's gotten letters about her book "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" from "kids" who aren't really kids at all any more.

"No one really masters life," says Laya, "If you're in this world, there will always be challenges and lessons. The question is how you'll meet any challenges (health, relationship, money, doesn't matter) so you can dance on with greater joy and purpose."

Born in Los Angeles in 1956, Laya Saul is living the dream with her family (husband, two teens, a dog, and a cat). She would love to hear from you.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Heart-to-Heart Talk, November 6, 2004

By 

Rebecca Johnson "The Rebecca Review" (Washington State) - See all my reviews
(COMMUNITY FORUM 04)    (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me (Paperback)

Decide for yourself the kind of life you want. You have to live your own adventure in life, but you don't have to reinvent the wheel. ~Aunt Laya

Aunt Laya Saul has finally written the book she wishes someone had written for her when she was a teenager. Not only did she make painful mistakes, she learned a great deal in the process. Through her own journey to adulthood, she learned how to recognize opportunities and avoid dangers.

All the topics are divided into small chapters so this book is very easy to read and many of the chapters are two to three pages. She discusses how each of us has challenges and gifts and how we can plug into our intuition and trust our instincts. She also covers topics like:

Defining Boundaries
Gaining a New Perspective
Expecting the Unexpected
Choices that Change Your Life
Dealing with Failure and Regret
Pain and Suffering as Part of Living
Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Preventing Abuse
Life and Death
You and the World
Relationships
Family and Friends
Forgiveness
Live Your Dreams

Aunt Laya Saul has a true love for quotes and this book is filled with inspirational moments, stories and wisdom gained from experience and reading. She has a talent for taking difficult issues and making the solutions seem very logical and desirable. Aunt Laya is on your side and she quickly summarizes each issue and then presents the negative and positive results of each choice you could make. The index is well organized and you can quickly locate issues like peace, compassion, anxiety, frustration, love, jealousy and many others.

Through reading this book you can avoid dangerous situations and learn how to nurture healthy relationships. I liked her ideas about replacing fear with excitement and how to approach change one breath at a time. "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" is a encouraging book that can be enjoyed by teenagers and adults of any age. These are issues that follow us throughout our lives. There are also notes about additional reading materials and resources, which would be of interest to anyone working with teens. Highly recommended for parents to give to their teens because this book could also provide a way to exchange life-changing information and give parents and teens the opportunity to see both sides of the issues.

~The Rebecca Review

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Courtesy of Teens Read Too, June 15, 2006

By 

TeensReadToo "Eat. Drink. Read. Be Merrier." (All Over the US & Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me (Paperback)

When I was growing up, I can honestly say that I don't remember ever hearing about "self-help" books for teens. If they were out there, I simply never heard about them, and no one ever pointed me in their direction. Maybe if I had gotten my hands on a book as well-written as YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY, I would have had a better guideline to base my choices on. Thankfully, this book is available now, and it's a resource that every teen and pre-teen should read. Aunt Laya Saul is never preachy, she doesn't tell you what's right and wrong, she never says you can't make mistakes. Actually, the author is very adamant about that fact that each young adult should make their own decisions, and that you can learn from your mistakes. But as she also points out, there is still something to be learned from the mistakes that have already been made by others. Just as you know that jumping off the Empire State Building would be a bad idea (as shown by those who have tried it), you can realize that doing certain things will only bring you harm by seeing the results they've already had in other people's lives.

The book is laid out in four main categories, with many sub-categories in each one. They are:

Attitude, which includes Believe In Yourself, Everybody Has Something, Trust Your Intuition, Defining Boundaries, Don't Panic, The One Percent Adjustment, What Do You Expect?, It's Your Choice, and Accountability.

Challenges, which includes Failure-Missing The Mark, Handling Regret, Trusting The Hard Times, Pain And Suffering, Alcohol And Drug Abuse: Self-Medication, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, and You Are Never Alone.

You And The World, which includes Reflections On Relationships, Family, Friendship, Communication, Gossip, Be Nice, Feedback, and What You Really Need To Know About Sex.

Gaining Altitude, which includes Because You Are Noble And You Can, Forgiveness, Lend A Hand, You've Got To Stand For Something, Live Your Dreams, Changes, and The Gift of Time.

There is also an introductory letter from the author, a final word, a section on recommended reads and a bibliography, acknowledgments, how to contact the author, and an author biography.

This is a great book that you can give to the teen or pre-teen in your life. Or if you're a young adult looking for a handbook to get through the tough times of adolescence, pick up a copy of YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Simply Powerful, May 2, 2008

By 

David Weltman (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way (Paperback)

As a teenager reading this book, I have found that the examples and advice given in this book are invaluable. While it is written in a simplistic style that allows all readers to access the information provided, the content is essential to all young adults and even adults. The quotes cited throughout the book are also very useful in accessing the text, linking the power of the text to some of the most famous writers of all time, such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and George Bernard Shaw. I have taken many of these life lessons to heart, and I believe that anyone who reads this book will want and strive to do the same. This truly is a worthwhile read.