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You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

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Decide for yourself the kind of life you want. You have to live your own adventure in life, but you don't have to reinvent the wheel. ~Aunt Laya

Aunt Laya Saul has finally written the book she wishes someone had written for her when she was a teenager. Not only did she make painful mistakes, she learned a great deal in the process. Through her own journey to adulthood, she learned how to recognize opportunities and avoid dangers.

All the topics are divided into small chapters so this book is very easy to read and many of the chapters are two to three pages. She discusses how each of us has challenges and gifts and how we can plug into our intuition and trust our instincts. She also covers topics like:

Defining Boundaries
Gaining a New Perspective
Expecting the Unexpected
Choices that Change Your Life
Dealing with Failure and Regret
Pain and Suffering as Part of Living
Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Preventing Abuse
Life and Death
You and the World
Relationships
Family and Friends
Forgiveness
Live Your Dreams

Aunt Laya Saul has a true love for quotes and this book is filled with inspirational moments, stories and wisdom gained from experience and reading. She has a talent for taking difficult issues and making the solutions seem very logical and desirable. Aunt Laya is on your side and she quickly summarizes each issue and then presents the negative and positive results of each choice you could make. The index is well organized and you can quickly locate issues like peace, compassion, anxiety, frustration, love, jealousy and many others.

Through reading this book you can avoid dangerous situations and learn how to nurture healthy relationships. I liked her ideas about replacing fear with excitement and how to approach change one breath at a time. "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" is a encouraging book that can be enjoyed by teenagers and adults of any age. These are issues that follow us throughout our lives. There are also notes about additional reading materials and resources, which would be of interest to anyone working with teens. Highly recommended for parents to give to their teens because this book could also provide a way to exchange life-changing information and give parents and teens the opportunity to see both sides of the issues.

~The Rebecca Review

When I was growing up, I can honestly say that I don't remember ever hearing about "self-help" books for teens. If they were out there, I simply never heard about them, and no one ever pointed me in their direction. Maybe if I had gotten my hands on a book as well-written as YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY, I would have had a better guideline to base my choices on. Thankfully, this book is available now, and it's a resource that every teen and pre-teen should read. Aunt Laya Saul is never preachy, she doesn't tell you what's right and wrong, she never says you can't make mistakes. Actually, the author is very adamant about that fact that each young adult should make their own decisions, and that you can learn from your mistakes. But as she also points out, there is still something to be learned from the mistakes that have already been made by others. Just as you know that jumping off the Empire State Building would be a bad idea (as shown by those who have tried it), you can realize that doing certain things will only bring you harm by seeing the results they've already had in other people's lives.

The book is laid out in four main categories, with many sub-categories in each one. They are:

Attitude, which includes Believe In Yourself, Everybody Has Something, Trust Your Intuition, Defining Boundaries, Don't Panic, The One Percent Adjustment, What Do You Expect?, It's Your Choice, and Accountability.

Challenges, which includes Failure-Missing The Mark, Handling Regret, Trusting The Hard Times, Pain And Suffering, Alcohol And Drug Abuse: Self-Medication, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, and You Are Never Alone.

You And The World, which includes Reflections On Relationships, Family, Friendship, Communication, Gossip, Be Nice, Feedback, and What You Really Need To Know About Sex.

Gaining Altitude, which includes Because You Are Noble And You Can, Forgiveness, Lend A Hand, You've Got To Stand For Something, Live Your Dreams, Changes, and The Gift of Time.

There is also an introductory letter from the author, a final word, a section on recommended reads and a bibliography, acknowledgments, how to contact the author, and an author biography.

This is a great book that you can give to the teen or pre-teen in your life. Or if you're a young adult looking for a handbook to get through the tough times of adolescence, pick up a copy of YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

As a teenager reading this book, I have found that the examples and advice given in this book are invaluable. While it is written in a simplistic style that allows all readers to access the information provided, the content is essential to all young adults and even adults. The quotes cited throughout the book are also very useful in accessing the text, linking the power of the text to some of the most famous writers of all time, such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and George Bernard Shaw. I have taken many of these life lessons to heart, and I believe that anyone who reads this book will want and strive to do the same. This truly is a worthwhile read.

Aunt Laya Saul is a wise, witty and wonderful person who genuinely cares about helping her readers become independent adults . . . who become that way by minimizing the mistakes they make.

Will young adults listen to anyone other than other young adults? In some cases, they will. The same advice that will be rejected from a parent (as part of young adult rebellion) may be very welcome coming from someone a little more emotionally removed. Aunt Laya Saul tries to play that role and does a solid job.

You will find bits and pieces of the Bible and the best self-help books in You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way. For that tiny minority of young adults who have figured out that they would like to learn by ways other than falling down, this book can save years of reading by distilling so many other sources into bite-sized pieces. "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." That's the philosophy behind this book.

How about for young adults who need good advice but don't realize that someone else's experience can be a good teacher? The only hope there is for a young friend to recommend this book . . . or better yet, give it as a gift for a birthday or other non-threatening occasion.

The best way to introduce a young adult to this book who isn't looking for self-help is to read a story or a brief section to them aloud. I suggest starting with an intriguing part that isn't too personal . . . like the butterfly story on page one or Sam's Sandwiches on page 46. Then hand the book over and say something like, "There are a lot of other good stories in here too."

Then, in the secret recesses of the young adult bedroom, the delicate, but fascinating, material on sexual relations, making and keeping friends, suicide, drugs and alcohol abuse, and finding a soul mate can be explored in peace and quiet.

As I read the book, I tried to remember myself at around age 16 with the questions I had then. It never occurred to me to look for a book to get answers, but if it had, Aunt Laya Saul would have been an excellent source. And I would have avoided some major bumps in the road if I had learned these things through a book rather than by bumping my head on the road of life.

I commend the author for creating such a well-intentioned book that delivers on its premise . . . and I hope the book sells well for her.

The book's main limitation is that it doesn't have contemporary material that connects to the young adult world. If Ms. Saul ever redoes this book, I suggest that she co-author it with a young adult.

As I read the book, I kept comparing it to Life Strategies for Teens which was written by Jay McGraw (Dr. Phil's son) in 2000. No one knows how to talk to a young adult like another young adult.

Aunt Laya Saul's "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" is an inspirational and motivational book for young adults. As parents of teens undoubtedly know, adolescence is a tough time for everyone. Teenagers often feel uncomfortable as their hormones rage and their bodies change. They worry about their popularity and they feel pressured by the need to grow up too fast. In some cases, adolescents are frightened, depressed, lonely, and totally stressed out.

Laya, who has a master's degree in applied psychology, imparts words of wisdom that come from her professional expertise, personal experience, and from famous people whom she quotes liberally throughout the book. In easy-to-read language and with many pertinent and entertaining stories and anecdotes, Laya covers a lot of ground. She discusses such topics as developing a positive attitude, handling difficult challenges, establishing healthful and long-lasting relationships, and adjusting to the inevitable changes that life brings.

Laya doesn't shy away from the tough issues of suicide, sexuality, and drugs. She counsels teens to think hard before they give in to peer pressure and to choose their friends wisely. She lets teens know that it is not a sign of weakness to seek help from parents, teachers, and spiritual advisors. The world is a tough place and it is not easy to grow up these days. Laya's book can be a useful tool to ease the difficult journey from adolescence to adulthood.

I am very grateful to Aunt Laya for writing this much needed book. It is practical, effective, sweet, and very readable. Do you have a teenager in the house? Know one? Ever met one? This is a must read for you and then I'm sure you will agree with me that you need to get it in every teenager's hand.

I happen to have my Master's in Psychology and have read a lot of ineffective books in my life. THIS is not one of them. Why are you still reading this review? Go click on the purchase button! :) While you are at it, buy two as I know you will want to pass them on. Still reading this? You're NOT a contrarian are you? :) O.K., then I FORBId you to buy two of these books.

I hope you enjoy Aunt Laya as much as I did.

This book was written primarily for young people. I am a middle aged parent of children aged 9 - 26 and a grandparent of 2. Aunt Laya speaks to all readers, young and old. She speaks with wisdom and respect and from a place of understanding. Reading this book was more than a place to receive advice and information. The reading itself was something experiential for me. It covers so much necessary stuff - stuff not too many think about until it's too late. I highly recommend this book for teens, their parents and even their grandparents. I believe it should be required reading for school counselors. It is excellent material for workshops. Adults can gain a lot by taking note of Aunt Laya's approach when addressing young people. After all, we want more than to talk AT our kids. Aunt Laya does a wonderful job at being the voice that gets heard.

I'm not done reading this book, but so far, I'm elated that I purchased it. The book is very simple to read and Aunt Laya provides many of her personal life stories which is always delightful. I would highly recommend this book to any teenager, and also adults as the book offers heartwarming inspirations. You have nothing to lose and alot to gain from reading this book. You cannot go wrong with purchasing this book..at all! She doesn't say anything harmful, uncomforting nor dangerous for the human spirit. The price is reasonable for such a book. I suggest reading this book before bed, or after a relaxing shower. Your mind should be very relaxed, if not, you may have to read something twice! Enjoy ;-)

This book should be mandatory in high school.

This is a book that you have to read at least once a year. It is the kind
of book that you need to come back to from time to time, because while
you are "Growing", you see things from a different perspective.

You can learn from your mistakes, but it is even better when you learn
from others' mistakes...

I personally like the chapter about: Sexual Abuse. I have a 3 year old
daughter, and I will make sure that she reads that chapter (when she will
be old enough).

In Defining Boundaries, Aunt Laya clearly points out that it is OK to say
NO. Again, my 3 years old daughter sometimes doesn't want to kiss or hug
grandma or grandpa, my wife is always pressuring her to do it and I
personally don't like it. I think that it is her decision and it is OK to
say NO.

Another chapter I enjoyed is the chapter about Gossiping. This one gave
me a good answer to give to people gossiping around me (just for that,
it's worth the price of the book!).

Reading this book feels like having a fireside chat with your favorite "Aunt Laya". She tells you what to expect in many different situations, and how to handle them and yourself. No matter what age you are, you can get nuggets of insight, and suggestions for better behavior and decision-making. The author conveys comfort, and makes the reader feel that the book was written especially for them. The warmth, and heart-felt well-meaning of the author is felt on every page. Recommended for any age, but the sooner in life you get your hands on it, the better!