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I Don't Know What to Say...: How to Help and Support Someone Who Is Dying Paperback – March 3, 1992


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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Even though its focus is on communicating with someone who is dying, its reach is far broader, extending to any intimate communication with anyone who is close. I Don't Know What to Say...' is written simply and with brilliant directness." — Toronto Sun"A sensitive, compassionate guide...[written with] deep insight." — Library Journal

From the Inside Flap

When people we love are dying, we all too often are unable to help them ? or even talk to them ? or face our own conflicting feelings about the impending loss. This authoritative and empathetic guide demystifies the dying process and offers practical advice for the friends and families of the terminally ill. In "I Don't Know What to Say..." Dr. Robert Buckman, a distinguished oncologist who was himself once diagnosed as having a fatal illness, confronts these questions:
? What should a patient be told about his or her illness?
? How can the patient's supporters cope with demands that may seem angry and irrational?
? What are the crucial differences between caring for a dying parent, spouse, or child?
? How can you help someone dying from AIDS, cancer, or a dementing illness?
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Vintage (March 3, 1992)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0679732020
  • ISBN-13: 978-0679732020
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.2 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #654,172 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Rinchen Choesang on November 14, 2004
Format: Paperback
At the moment, I am immersing myself in literature about death and dying, as I hope to work as a volunteer in the palliative care field. This book is an absolute revelation. It puts into perspective so well the pain I recently suffered at the loss of a very close and dear friend.

The brilliant thing about this book is that Dr Buckman has been exposed to the suffering of serious illness and grief both as a Dr and as a patient. Having had leukaemia (and survived) as a young adult 30 years ago, I found every word in this book about the suffering of the 'terminally ill' (as I was told I was, so long ago) struck a familiar chord.

This is one of the most comprehensive and compassionate books on death, dying, bereavement and grief available today. If you, or a friend or loved one, is supporting someone with a life-threatening illness, this book will be a tremendous support. Do yourself a favour and buy it!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By E. Iversen on September 20, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
When my best friend came to the last chapter of her life last year after a long battle with cancer, I was beside myself. This book was so INCREDIBLY helpful for me, for her, for her family, for our friends. If you ever find yourself providing hospice care or just in the process of losing someone you love, read this book. I promise it will help.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Darren X on September 21, 2010
Format: Paperback
I recently went through the illness/death of a loved one and I found this book extremely helpful, much better than 'on death and dying' by Kubler-Ross, which everyone recommends in these situations.

I warmly recommend this book instead.
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Format: Paperback
Buckman's humanity and humility in the face of death come shining through in this wonderful book. The advice is sensitive and practical, and real-life examples show how different strategies work in action. Can't recommend it highly enough to those looking to support someone who is sick, dying or bereaved. Or just generally to anyone looking to be a better friend, colleague or human being.
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