I Don't Know What to Say...: How to Help and Support Someone Who Is Dying [Paperback]

Robert Buckman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 3, 1992

When people we love are dying, we all too often are unable to help them — or even talk to them — or face our own conflicting feelings about the impending loss. This authoritative and empathetic guide demystifies the dying process and offers practical advice for the friends and families of the terminally ill. In "I Don't Know What to Say..." Dr. Robert Buckman, a distinguished oncologist who was himself once diagnosed as having a fatal illness, confronts these questions:
— What should a patient be told about his or her illness?
— How can the patient's supporters cope with demands that may seem angry and irrational?
— What are the crucial differences between caring for a dying parent, spouse, or child?
— How can you help someone dying from AIDS, cancer, or a dementing illness?

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Even though its focus is on communicating with someone who is dying, its reach is far broader, extending to any intimate communication with anyone who is close. I Don't Know What to Say...' is written simply and with brilliant directness." — Toronto Sun"A sensitive, compassionate guide...[written with] deep insight." — Library Journal

From the Inside Flap

When people we love are dying, we all too often are unable to help them ? or even talk to them ? or face our own conflicting feelings about the impending loss. This authoritative and empathetic guide demystifies the dying process and offers practical advice for the friends and families of the terminally ill. In "I Don't Know What to Say..." Dr. Robert Buckman, a distinguished oncologist who was himself once diagnosed as having a fatal illness, confronts these questions:
? What should a patient be told about his or her illness?
? How can the patient's supporters cope with demands that may seem angry and irrational?
? What are the crucial differences between caring for a dying parent, spouse, or child?
? How can you help someone dying from AIDS, cancer, or a dementing illness?

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Vintage (March 3, 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0679732020
• ISBN-13: 978-0679732020
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,288,281 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you are grieving for a friend or loved one, BUY THIS BOOK, November 14, 2004

By 

Rinchen Choesang "Empty Seeker" (Melbourne, Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Don't Know What to Say...: How to Help and Support Someone Who Is Dying (Paperback)

At the moment, I am immersing myself in literature about death and dying, as I hope to work as a volunteer in the palliative care field. This book is an absolute revelation. It puts into perspective so well the pain I recently suffered at the loss of a very close and dear friend.

The brilliant thing about this book is that Dr Buckman has been exposed to the suffering of serious illness and grief both as a Dr and as a patient. Having had leukaemia (and survived) as a young adult 30 years ago, I found every word in this book about the suffering of the 'terminally ill' (as I was told I was, so long ago) struck a familiar chord.

This is one of the most comprehensive and compassionate books on death, dying, bereavement and grief available today. If you, or a friend or loved one, is supporting someone with a life-threatening illness, this book will be a tremendous support. Do yourself a favour and buy it!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Vastly superior to the Kubler-Ross book, September 21, 2010

By 

Darren X (Toronto, Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Don't Know What to Say (Paperback)

I recently went through the illness/death of a loved one and I found this book extremely helpful, much better than 'on death and dying' by Kubler-Ross, which everyone recommends in these situations.

I warmly recommend this book instead.