Customer Reviews

Don't Leave Me This Way: Or When I Get Back on My Feet You'll Be Sorry

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Julia Fox Garrison is a successful working mother of a three-year-old son, Rory, and the wife of a devoted husband named Jim. She is loved and admired by her many friends and coworkers, and enjoys a close relationship with her mother, father, and eight brothers. Her life couldn't be more satisfying. However, an unexpected curve ball is thrown her way when, on July 17, 1997, she is felled by a sudden stroke.

Julia is rushed into emergency surgery to stop the bleeding in her brain, but although she survives the operation, she is left with complete paralysis on her left side. Fortunately, she is able to think and communicate, even though her ability to move and function has been severely curtailed. The doctors are unsure what caused the stroke and they recommend a variety of treatments, including chemotherapy for a condition called vasculitis.

"Don't Leave Me This Way" is Garrison's poignant, uncompromisingly honest, and darkly humorous account of what happened to her and how she handled it. Her short, breezy chapters have droll titles such as "Homage to Your Hemorrhage," and, for some reason, she avoids using the word "I" until the final section of the book. However, her unconventional writing style works; the reader is given a front row seat as Julia surmounts one obstacle after another, with many bumps and bruises along the way.

From the beginning, she refuses to take her doctors' statements at face value, especially when she is convinced that they are only guessing. In fact, she decides that in spite of the bleak prognosis, she is going to get back on her feet. She rejects the opinion of her doctors and nurses that she is "in denial" and is too "impulsive." Julia constantly makes sarcastic jokes and gives irreverent and unflattering nicknames to her least favorite health care professionals: Dr. Jerk, Dr. Panic, Dr. Bleak, and Nurse Doom, among others. One of the few physicians whom she admires she dubs Dr. Neuro. At least he treats her like an intelligent adult, not an obstreperous and dense four-year-old.

Julia must learn to deal not only with doctors, but also with an assortment of therapists who assist her in regaining movement and balance. However, her recovery is slow, uneven, and painful, and falling is an everyday occurrence. She must rely on her beleaguered husband, friends, and relatives to take care of Rory, and she wonders when she will be able to walk, drive, or work again.

"Don't Leave Me This Way" is an object lesson for anyone who takes his health for granted. What happened to Julia can happen to anyone. What makes the author unique is her determination and defiance in the face of overwhelming odds, as well as her ability to make jokes when there is every reason to sink into depression. This book is an enlightening, inspiring, and moving account of a courageous woman's struggle to regain her independence. Her final words in the book are: "Thanks for all my blessings. I love life." Nobody could have said it better.

This is a stunningly important book which should be required reading for all medical and nursing students, and all others who are concerned with the acute care and rehabilitation of stroke patients, whether they are part of the professional therapeutic team, family or friends. This book is destined to become a classic in the field. It will also be invaluable to patients and families who are facing daunting challenges. With humor and the wisdom of experience it is a guide to overcoming the often overly pessimistic predictions of many care givers. Ms. Garrison's book is well-written, indeed often funny. Beware... if you pick it up, you may be glued to your seat for hours.

Julia Fox Garrison's is an engaging, enjoyable, and quick read ... certainly all good reasons to pick it up and read it.

Yet, this book is much more than a good story. I view it as a gentle, clear, and inspiring reminder of how important it is to take time to enjoy and be thankful for the many blessings in one's life.

While certainly this book discusses challenges of stemming from medical issues, I feel that Julia's message of how challenges can help us see the world in a new and better light, can be applied universally. I particularly enjoyed reading about how these challenges helped Julia become more sensitive others and helped her grow spiritually.

Don't Leave Me This Way adds a lot of positive energy in helping us deal with problems both individually and collectively.

Only after reading this book could I ever possibly know what my mother is going through after her stroke in 2005. Julia made me laugh and cry. This book, and the honesty it holds, cut right to (and through) the heart. I don't even know what else to say - except perhaps - thank you JFG!!!

One of those rare books that you can't putdown, but don't want to get to the last page either. As an educater of graduate speech pathology students in a University, a must read. Julia Garrison brings home what it means to be a person that has will, faith, devotion, and the love of self and family, to be the best that she can be for that moment in time. Her determination is awe inspiring and her husband's love is one that is not seen often. Thank you for sharing part of this journey, so that we as readers can be better people too.

A truly extraordinary adventure. As a retired physician, I was surprised how much I still had to learn about the illness experience. I wish I had this book to recommend to patients when was in active practice. Julia Garrison is an example of what one can do when the spirit directs one. Potential is something that doctors and physical therapists only see through a glass darkly. With great wisdom and humor this singular woman is a great teacher. "Don't Leave Me This Way" deserves the widest possible readership.

This is yet another insight into the hellish situation that exists when healthy people become incapacitated and end up in rehab or nursing home situations. (For comparison, read Joni Eareckson's autobiography and Stephen Thompson's Genesis: A Portrait of Spinal Cord Injury. Each one of these author's stories begin in different decades, but all, including Julia Garrison, describe first-hand similar experiences of dealing with a health-care system that is both abusive and neglectful).

If Julia's family hadn't been there for her, including a devoted husband, mother and eight brothers, she would have quickly withered and died in a nursing home. A simple request for tampons was denied, and she was offered adult diapers as a substitute, because the home didn't stock tampons or even pads. It was far easier for the nursing home staff to have a compliant patient in diapers, rather than an ornery, loud and gutsy 37-year-old woman who refused to roll over and accept the cards that fate had laid out for her.

The medical profession will move heaven and earth to save the life of an accident or stroke victim, but then doesn't seem to know what to do with the patients whose lives they have just saved. Julia Fox Garrison, with an insane will to survive, and surrounded by the love of her family, took charge of her own recovery and made her own plans for the rest of her life, the one she would have to live after she was discharged from the hospital and sent home.


Garrison's book is must reading for anyone whose life has been altered by a single event. Life does somehow go on, and the book is blessedly free of the heavy-handed preaching that often accompanies the retelling of tragic true-life stories.

Reading Don't Leave Me This Way, I found myself filled with emotion and thinking about the many ways and the many people who could benefit from reading Julia Fox Garrison's amazing story. It's inspiring, instructive, humorous and moving all at the same time. But it's also an eye-opening and pragmatic description of what women in particular are faced with following a stroke--things that most of us would never consider. The author has captured the nuances and the emotional complexity of her ongoing encounters as a patient with the steady parade of healthcare professionals all so well and in a way to which many readers can relate. I am amazed at how she was able to remember everything in such specific detail. The story is very engrossing filled with humor and sensitivity. This book stands as a testimony to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of humor over adversity, and serves as an instructive tale to those in healthcare policy and practice who work with all patients, whatever their age, sex, condition, or needs.

The other day I heard about a co-worker who just had a stroke, also only in her 30's. I plan to tell her Julia's hopeful story to give her the inspiration she will need for her own recovery. When she is ready, I'll give her a copy of the book. I believe she'll find it a wonderful resource for the road ahead.

Julia's phenomenal story and sense of humor leave you wanting more! Entertaining, enlightening and inspirational only begin to describe the book and the individual. Julia had it all, successful career, loving family and active lifestyle. Then at age 37, a stroke leaves her with a loving family, limbs that don't work and a brain with limited abilities. Through sheer determination, she defies the prognosis of the medical "experts".

You will laugh, learn and gain a greater appreciation for what you have. But, this is not your preachy, doom and gloom personal tragedy. It's not a far stretch to categorize the book under humor.

The courageous use of self-deprecating humor in light of our inadequate medical system is laudable. Julia introduces Dr. Jerk and Dr. Neuro. You've probably met them. One is compassionate, intelligent and innovative and the other is ... a jerk. Perhaps it took a stroke to do it, but Julia has found her niche as a writer and public speaker. I can only hope she will share the rest of her story with us very soon.

It wasn't long after starting Julia's story before I was caught up in the journey that started so surprisingly during a normal day at work, and left her in a different place no one could have anticipated. You don't need to have personal experience with a health crisis to relate to the real frustration and helplessness she endured. I found myself cheering for her trust in her instincts as she stood up to the bureaucracy of the medical profession. I was crushed for her personal defeats and elated for her victories. In spite of it all, she manages to continue to see the humor that exists in every day life, and leaves you wondering how big a role that played in her recovery. I particularly enjoyed the stories that included her parents who provide some laugh out loud moments of comic relief reminiscent of the Walsh parents in a Marian Keyes novel. Overall a recommended, good read. Julia's humor and positive attitude make this very serious story an engaging ride well worth paying the price for admission.