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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
An very interesting book., July 25, 2004
This review is from: Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It (Paperback)
I've just read through all the reviews and I've noticed one thing. The people who don't like the book clearly haven't read it properly or got what the author is saying.
There was only one bad review I agreed with at all, and that was the gentleman who pointed out that, even though the book is written by a couple, the emphasis does seem a little more female oriented at times.
However, the majority of the bad reviews are entitled "I'm a woman and I can read maps" or such like. Please don't let this put you off buying the book. The authors state quite clearly in the opening chapters of the book that the information represents an overall picture and that the science is based on what is the case MOST of the time, not ALL of the time. They do tell you quite regularly that there are exceptions.
There is also a test early on in the book to show the probable levels of male hormone you received in the womb. I have done this test with a fair number of people now and it is amazingly accurate. I'm guessing that many of the negative reviews come from people who didn't bother to do this test, which would then make much of the book seem like nonsense.
As I have already said, and think needs saying again, this book is what is generally the case, not what is always the case. Taken in that light, and also taking into account that the authors also say at the start of the book that many will dismiss it on a number of reasons which they list (and every negative reviewer bar the one I agreed with comes somewhere on the list), it really doesn't pay to listen to the negative comments.
This book is not trying to enforce negative stereotypes. Far from it. This book suggests many ways in which certain character traits can be much better understood. For certain chapters where it explains things such as why men tend to sleep around more, it also clearly states that the authors do not believe this makes the behaviour more acceptable, and they actually state that "luckily" there are ways of changing in built natural behavior. I have just read one part of the book that actually says this out right, that the biological instict is not always the best thing to follow in a modern society.
Basically, the negative reviews are from people who had made up their mind before they had even read the book, or who did not want to believe what they saw.
My last point is to the reviewer who claimed that phrases such as "research now shows" mean nothing. There are plenty of facts that do state where the research comes from, and had every single fact been backed up by when, where and who did the reasearch, the book would probably be very hard to read (there would be references on every other line practically), and probably about twice the size!
Buy this book, read the first chapters carefully so you fully understand where the authors are coming from and what they are trying to achieve, and then enjoy the rest.
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43 of 50 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A sort of Australian Mars/Venus book., June 5, 2000
The authors start from two straightforward premises: Men and women are very different in the way that they act, react, think and feel. These differences are the inevitable consequence of our biology. The first of these is a lot less controversial than the second and, perhaps the book would have ruffled fewer feathers if the authors had stuck to the first premise. However, the caveman-cavewoman analogies do help them to illustrate their points. The book is well put together in a pretty light-hearted style. While not being unputdownable, it is an easy read. One quibble though has to be that, after a while, many of the jokes seem to be a little tedious. As well as illustrating the differences between men and women, the book gives examples of how these lead to conflict and misunderstandings. Their advice is pretty much to learn about the differences and grin and bear it. Of course, the book goes over much the same ground as the Mars-Venus stuff but, it does so at a somewhat simpler and, some would say, superficial level. If you get to the end of Mars-Venus and absorb what it says then this book is not for you. On the other hand, If you found M-V to be too heavy and a bit pretentious then the lighthearted and more direct style of this book could be just what you need. At the end of the book, there is a substantial list of references and further reading. This varies from other popular psychology books to research papers which provide the scientific backing for the authors ideas. Unfortunately, they just list these with no comment and no attempt to categorise the items. This means that the list is of little use to a reader interested in exploring further topics or referring to some of the research on which the authors ideas depend.
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23 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Not what I was looking for., March 2, 2005
This review is from: Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It (Paperback)
I bought this book with the intent of improvimg my relationship with my fiancee, only to be really disappointed. This book, although says its written for both men and women, is very clearly written to make women feel better about themselves. Some of the comments that I thought the other reviewers wrote are fairly accurate, such as the fact that women can indeed read maps, and the comment about reading this book and then justifying sleeping with other women was hilarious.
This book wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so repetitive and actually let the readers draw their own conclusions. For example, it says that in 1998, 99.1% of all secretaries were female. That's because women are better at communicating and doing many tasks simultaneously, they write. Is this really true, or is it maybe because secretaries generally get paid very little and men are expected to support a family and put women through college?
Another example that I really find unentertaining is how men are continuously referred to as "lunch-chasers". Is this really necessary? A joke is a joke, but this gets old really fast. It would be more entertaining if jokes were about both men and women, but they really are mostly about men. This book assumes that reader knows really nothing about men and women (which is a bit insulting premise). Additionally, the way men are portrayed is a bit harsh (not all of us yell and scream and "bark" at our girlfriends), and the advice is all what men should do to improve their relationship with women; almost nothing about what women can do to improve their relationship with men.
My recommendation? Read Stephen Pinker's "How The Mind Works". Its much more interesting, explains a lot more in finer detail and provides a more logical history about the differentces between men and women. His book doesn't claim anything the this book does and lets the reader think a bit more for themselves, and all of the studies are cited in the back.
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