Customer Reviews

Don't Pat the Wombat!

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I am sixteen years old and Australian. Don't Pat The Wombat was my favourite book when I was ten, and I recently reread it. I'd forgotton how funny and accurate it was.

First, some background information about the setting. Despite what it may appear, the kids are not going to summer camp. They are going to school camp. The difference is, it happens during school time, and not during summer. The summer holidays happen over Christmas, and they only last for six weeks, so no summer camp. Edwina and Helmut are not counsellors. They are backpackers how happened to be in the area. Also, the slang is fairly accurate, if I recall primary school correctly.

Don't Pat The Wombat is about a group of boys in year six, who have called themselves the Coconuts. They're the troublemakers of their class. A few weeks before camp, they become friends with a new kid named Jonah, who is from a rural area. Jonah makes enemies with Brian Cromwell, a cruel teacher that the Coconuts have nicknamed the Bomb, because he explodes. They go to camp in the bush, and have fun. Most of the book is taken up with the description of the fun, but towards the end it develops a more serious theme. Jonah starts opening up slightly, and has an encounter with the Bomb.

The book has a very light hearted tone, which is why I think I loved it so much. You could count the serious bits on the fingers of one hand. The characters are believable twelve-year-olds, and act in a believable way. I was never one of the troublemakers myself, but I remember school camp, before popularity became everything and kids still listened to the teachers. And the lollies, who could forget the lollies?

Elizebeth Honey has written a few other novels, of which the Stella Streets are the closest in tone to this one. I'd recomend those as well.

Remember summer camp in all it's wonderful, horrible glory? Elizabeth Honey does and she brings the memories back to life with this outrageous and funny tale about a group of Aussie sixth grade boys (known as the Coconuts and later, the Convicts) off to camp.

Narrated by Mark (or "Exclamation Mark"), he gives us the tell-all tales about his friends and their antics. They befriend newcomer Jonah, who takes on the Convict's ultimate nemesis, teacher Mr. Cromwell, a.k.a. the Bomb. ("Cromwell at camp is like Darth Vader at your birthday party.")

This a frenetic and fun book, documenting the misadventures of outback camplife (complete with mud fights, exploring, an end-of-camp pageant and of course, wombats!

Definately worth a read!

It's no secret that there are thousands of fantastic unknown children's books out there. I would even go so far as to estimate that over 60% of the best kid books disappear without so much as a ripple under the waves of subsequently published literature. So this is all the more reason to appreciate a well-written unknown book when you find it. That book, such as it is, is Elizabeth Honey's "Don't Pat the Wombat". A fine frolicsome Aussie import, this tale of kids, camp, and canoes is one of the best kept secrets in fiction today. And it's freakin' hilarious.

The plot follows a group of roughly ten year-old boys called The Coconuts. They named themselves that after the narrator(nickname: Exclamation Mark)'s mom drove them around singing, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..." The other boys include Wormz, Nicko, Azza, Mitch, and Jonah. Jonah, to be honest, is the real hero of this tale. A calm silent boy, Jonah earns the wrath of the school's most dreaded teacher, The Bomb. When the boys head out for summer camp (an event that included not only the boys but their teachers from school and two parents) it's just their bad luck that The Bomb comes along for the ride.

First of all, this book is undoubtedly one of the funniest I've read in a very long time. Funny books never get any respect, you know. Not adult funny books, nor children's funny books. This is a story where the narrator's mom plays on a basketball team called The Cellulites. The pictures, supposedly drawn by the author, are a hoot and a holler (and frighteningly similar to pictures an actual ten year-old would draw). And the storyline has the boys pulling the kind of innocent pranks you'd expect of them. I was particularly taken with a moment where the boys (after a rousing mud fight) decided to play dead to see what their German counselor Helmut would do:

"Oh, they're dead!" goes Helmut. "What a pity, I'd better bury them," and he started shoveling mud on us.

It's that kind of story. On top of that, there's some interesting Australian language to grapple with. America is the kind of country that takes great pains in changing words in the Harry Potter books that appear "too British" for delicate American children's ears. Apparently, Australian slang is a completely different matter. Initially I was quite taken aback by the amount of words I either couldn't understand or couldn't pronounce. Here's a great example. It describes the teacher nicknamed Chook:

"If something goes right, she says, `Jolly beaut!' and if something goes wrong, she goes, `Blinking heck!' For something amazing, she says, `By jingo!' She wears Daisy Duck shoes".

The book's full of this kind of thing. When a boy calls his teacher a nerd his mother patiently corrects him and says the terms he's looking for is "duffer". Slang includes words like "derr" as well. I mean, I think it's great! More books should be coming into our country with these kinds of words. But if you're not prepared for them, it's a bit of a shock.

If I have any objections with this book it's that it's too darn short. Too short by far. You finally are beginning to get a little more insight into the characters and before you know it, time's up! Story's done. All in all, however, I consider this book one of the lost greats. It'd make a fantastic read-aloud to those students that are reluctant to read. The characters are likable, the plot is quick, and the photos and pictures very funny. For a sure fire crowd pleaser (if they can get past the slang) give this book a try. The funniest Australian children's book I have ever, or may ever, read.

Elizabeth Honey is the author of Don't Pat the Wombat has a great idea for a book. She writes about a kid named Mark and his friends are going to camp with their teachers! One of their teachers nicknamed the Boom, because he hates all kids and tries to drown a kid named Journa! Mark and his friends have to save Jouna from the Boom. This book is funny and exciting. That's why you should read this book.