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Don't Shoot! I'm Just The Avon Lady! Paperback


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Don't Shoot! I'm Just The Avon Lady! + 100 Ways to Sell Avon + 100 Ways to Recruit Avon Representatives
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 248 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (November 20, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1440464863
  • ISBN-13: 978-1440464867
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 5.9 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #921,387 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Her posts draw more than 1000 hits a day from readers fascinated by the woman who buys antiwrinkle cream for her pet monkey Hubert or by the wife who orders Bust-Sculpt Contouring ointment for her husband who ingests it as an alternative to Viagra." - Time Magazine

"What Birdie discovered about people - and herself - went more than skin deep." - Positive Thinking Magazine

About the Author

Birdie is the author of the Avon Lady Memoir, "Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!" which was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She is also the author of several books about Las Vegas, New Mexico, including "My Tiny Vegas," a collection of stories about the strange and wonderful cowboys, santeros, and bad boys that call Las Vegas home.

Birdie's life and stories have been profiled in the New York Times, Time Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. Her articles and stories have appeared in many national publications.

More About the Author

Birdie is the author of the Avon Lady Memoir, "Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!" which was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She is also the author of several books about Las Vegas, New Mexico, including "My Tiny Vegas," a collection of stories about the strange and wonderful cowboys, santeros, and bad boys that call Las Vegas home.

Birdie's life and stories have been profiled in the New York Times, Time Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. Her articles and stories have appeared in many national publications.

Birdie loves salsa dancing, staring folks down with her left eye, yodeling, and making exotic crafts out of popsicle sticks.

You may visit Birdie on the web at birdiejaworski.com

Customer Reviews

The book is so well written and funny...very memorable.
RJPP
I'm not saying that the events in the book couldn't or didn't happen, it's just not the type of person you would expect an Avon lady to be acting like.
angelpeaches
I have not laughed this loud, while reading a book, in years!
Todd Hagopian

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Todd Hagopian VINE VOICE on November 30, 2008
Format: Paperback
I have not laughed this loud, while reading a book, in years! Very funny accounts of this woman's tales of trying to sell Avon products in hilarious ways.

I am a businessman, but this book was referred to me by an Avon lady who just could not stop telling me funny stories from it. I figured I would read it and see what happened...It was great! I enjoyed every minute.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is in sales, or anyone who enjoys funny books! Have fun!
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Kenny Parham on December 3, 2008
Format: Paperback
How absolutely hilarious! Who knew that selling Avon could provide for such gut-busting adventures? I generally do not read comedic-type books-- I'm more of a serious person by nature. But after reading a couple of excerpts from this book, I had to have it. The author's description of people and events is so vivid, so completely funny, that I felt like I was right there with her, such as during the chapter entitled: Below the belt belongs to Turkey!. And I loved the story of the "Bunion Lady". I won't say anymore, so as not to give anything away. There is also a touching, sensitive side to this book, wherein the author details how her past revisits her. But I can't stress how incredibly funny this book is, from beginning to end. If you love to laugh, then this is a must-read.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Carroll McNeill on December 7, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
You'll laugh, you'll cry -- I guarantee you'll want to hug the author! I bought this book first in hardback and savored every single page. Am ordering a bunch more copies in paperback to give as holiday gifts to friends who are sure to enjoy this poignant mix of real-life hardship and hilarity. I have never before read an author so able to convey unquenchable optimism and zest for life on every page as Ms. Jaworski. Without a doubt this is a "stay up late to finish and then call a friend to say 'You have to read this!' book. But you'd better buy two if you plan to share because you won't want to give your own copy away!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By RJPP TOP 1000 REVIEWER on January 28, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
DON'T SHOOT! I'M JUST THE AVON LADY! is HILARIOUS! A woman is trying to sell Avon products and encounters real life situations that anyone in sales can relate to. The book is so well written and funny...very memorable. I totally recommend this book to anyone who wants a good laugh. Brilliant Read. Still LMAO....
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By R. A. Brittain on January 7, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I don't normally read author's memoirs, but I became curious about Birdie. Birdie's book "Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!" is a great read and put together so well that it was like reading a story rather than her memoirs. And novel it is. She takes you from present to later in time memories and then brings you back to the present. Granted, some of her memoirs were sad, but most of them cause me to chuckle out loud which is a rarity for me. Birdie's spunk and determination has led her into situations that many of us will never experience. For instance, how many of us have opened their door, only to find a pig at the doorstep with a note telling her that the pig's name was Frankie. Frankie became in indoor pet pig and I just assume he was potty trained.

One of my favorites was when she went on an Avon call with a request for lotion. To Birdie's surprise, it was to be used on a pet monkey. "... she led him across the kitchen. ... jumped into my lap. He put long arms around my neck.. and monkey drool started to roll down..."

Another was Birdie taking Avon shampoo to a new client, only to find herself shampooing a bald lady's cat.

Oh, and the Avon foam she sprayed on a rat that was about to attack her.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Clementines on February 23, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Birdie really does take the reader along with her on her Avon adventures. Being a mother I could instantly relate to towing two small children around like she did. Her descriptions in this novel were amazing and I had no problem picturing everything. I laughed at so many things. This book is definitely laced with a great comedian and I really enjoyed reading it. Besides the humor, Birdie is very real in this book and her customers will make you laugh. This is definitely a book I've recommended to friends. There is so much realism in this story. Birdie is a single mom just doing the best she can to make ends meet, hold onto her dreams, while at the same time, grieve over her past. A unique idea and a good read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By J. Moore on January 30, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I don't recall ever reading anything by Birdie prior to this book. I am a native San Diegan and was able to relate to the descriptions she gave of the area.

There were plenty of parts where I couldn't help but laugh out loud! I did find it hard to follow in some parts, when Birdie traveled back in time to explain certain events of her past, but was able to make sense the more I read.

If you are looking for a story to read and would like to be entertained, I recommend this book. It is not a romance, drama, thriller, mystery, etc - it is just a book to read, enjoy, and be thankful that I'm NOT an Avon lady!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Casandra Perry on January 27, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The titular vignette in this moving memoir will have you gasping from raucous laughter but make no mistake, this is also a book that will move youto tears. Birdie's adventures as an Avon lady in wacky Southern California are funny, strange, and sometimes even a little scary. The amazing cross section of humanity we are introduced to - from the naked gardener to Kevin the cute - keeps the story of Birdie's youth from becoming overwhelmingly heartrending. I highly recommend this title. There are some instances of foul language, but not many. This book is not for kids...15 at the youngest, as it deals with serious adult themes.
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