Don't Shoot! I'm Just The Avon Lady! (Paperback)

by Birdie Jaworski (Author)
Key Phrases: neighbor guy, huge hair, kilt pocket, Avon Lady, Fat Bastard, Kilt Man (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
For Birdie Jaworski, life as an Avon Lady was a bittersweet mix of embarking on gossip-worthy adventures, searching for Mr. Right, and making emergency lotion requests in the middle of the night... while managing as a single parent. This collection of short stories-including "Mullet Madness," "Fat Ass Evidence," and "Wherein I Test a Product on an Animal"-captures Jaworski's complicated relationship with the cosmetics giant (and her customers) and reveals a surprising and touching account of her personal life. Birdie Jaworski is the Publisher and Editor of GALLINAS, a biweekly magazine celebrating the arts, cultures, and communities of Las Vegas, New Mexico. Birdie's stories have appeared in many online and print journals as well as on National Public Radio. Beauty Dish, the blog on which this memoir is based, has been featured in the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and Positive Thinking magazine.

Product Details

• Paperback: 248 pages
• Publisher: CreateSpace (November 20, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1440464863
• ISBN-13: 978-1440464867
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #897,903 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm an Avon Lady and I laughed so much!, November 27, 2008

By	Midwest Mom - See all my reviews

I have followed Birdie Jaworski's "Beauty Dish" Blog for years, ever since she started selling Avon and got a call from Catholic Charities that the daughter she gave up for adoption wanted to meet her. This book is the real life story of Birdie meeting one crazy southern California Avon customer after another while she decides whether or not to meet her now-adult daughter.

The book is laugh-out-loud funny! Birdie sells Avon to a woman who wants to buy anti-wrinkle cream for her pet monkey. She comes up with outrageous schemes for pushing Avon - from attending "Ladies' Night" at the strip club to holding yard sales where her two little boys try to help her unload bottles of bubble bath to selling Avon to men during a bowling league championship.

As an Avon Lady, I can't tell you how many times I had to call up my upline and read her sections out of the book while laughing hysterically. I actually found some amazing sales tips in the stories, too!

Birdie's descriptions will make you believe you are right next to her selling Avon. Her heartfelt account of having a baby as a teenager and giving her up for adoption will bring tears to your eyes. Birdie has a lot of guts writing such a dear and personal book. At the end of the book, I really felt as if I knew Birdie in person, and I felt ready to tackle my Avon business with renevewed vigor. Birdie really gets across the point that Avon can help you meet new friends and help you overcome your own fears.

This isn't a book just for Avon ladies. It's a book for any human who is struggling to make his or her way in the world with a difficult job. It's a book that will make you laugh and cry.

You will want to find all of Birdie's other stories on the internet after reading this book! I really recommend that you do that. Her stories about her boys' love of Star Trek are also really funny and touching. I also love her stories about New Mexico, where she now lives.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars HILARIOUS!!, November 30, 2008

By	Todd Hagopian "Todd Hagopian" (Michigan) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I have not laughed this loud, while reading a book, in years! Very funny accounts of this woman's tales of trying to sell Avon products in hilarious ways.

I am a businessman, but this book was referred to me by an Avon lady who just could not stop telling me funny stories from it. I figured I would read it and see what happened...It was great! I enjoyed every minute.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is in sales, or anyone who enjoys funny books! Have fun!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed so hard!, December 3, 2008

By	Kenny Parham "1KParham" (Rockford, Illinois) - See all my reviews

How absolutely hilarious! Who knew that selling Avon could provide for such gut-busting adventures? I generally do not read comedic-type books-- I'm more of a serious person by nature. But after reading a couple of excerpts from this book, I had to have it. The author's description of people and events is so vivid, so completely funny, that I felt like I was right there with her, such as during the chapter entitled: Below the belt belongs to Turkey!. And I loved the story of the "Bunion Lady". I won't say anymore, so as not to give anything away. There is also a touching, sensitive side to this book, wherein the author details how her past revisits her. But I can't stress how incredibly funny this book is, from beginning to end. If you love to laugh, then this is a must-read.